


Permission to Heal

by FoxoftheDesert



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: A bit of comfort to go with loads of angst, Enough romance to not get me tarred and feathered, Established Relationship, F/F, Further warnings inside, Have Faith In A Happy Ending!, Not for the faint of heart, Past Sexual Abuse, Per my M.O. not a get together fic, Red Queen Week 2016, RedQueen, Sexual Abuse, read with caution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:34:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 68,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8310514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxoftheDesert/pseuds/FoxoftheDesert
Summary: RedQueen based Season 4 finale AU.  Written for Red Queen Week 2016.  Inside the Author's twisted version of the Enchanted Forest, Regina and Ruby battle to be together and stay alive.  During their journey they learn how strong love really is and how much pain a human being can endure without breaking.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby seeks for Regina after a terrible fight, but before they can truly reconcile, the Author pens his story and our gals are sent to the world of the Enchanted Fauxrest.

" _I step out my front door, and it comes back to you / The end of my driveway, it comes back to you_ " - Sixx A.M. "Permission"

* * *

 

**Prologue**

 

“Regina!”

 

Ruby breaks into a sprint when she sees her girlfriend crossing the street along with Emma and an older gentleman she doesn’t recognize. The small party stops in unison in response to her frantic call, turning in just in time to see her skid to a halt before them. Ruby is suddenly thankful she had the good sense to forgo heels for sneakers this morning.

 

“Ruby?”

 

Regina tenses in confusion at Ruby’s arrival, but her reaction is softened by an underlying layer of affection which betrays the abatement of her earlier anger. Ruby breathes a sigh of relief at yet another thing to be thankful for.

 

Not more than an hour ago Regina's recent obsession with cleaving Robin from her crazy sister was the topic of a rather heated exchange between them. After throwing around some hurtful words that for Ruby's part she hadn't meant, Regina stormed out in a rage, leaving Ruby’s nerves strained to the limit.

 

Her concern over Regina’s actions of late have not stemmed from any particular dislike of Robin – quite the opposite actually. There are few men Ruby knows of more honor than Robin Hood, and even fewer whose unwavering sincerity proved sufficient to pierce so jaded a heart as Regina’s. Robin’s many virtues are well documented, and though Regina insists otherwise, Ruby cannot help but analyze herself with respect to them and feel she falls short in comparison.

 

There is also the additional fact that Regina’s continual care for Robin casts a tiny shadow of doubt over the depth of her affections. That there is any doubt at all is no small cause of shame to Ruby. She is being petty, and she knows it, but she can’t help fearing she will inevitably do or say something wrong to send Regina running into Robin’s waiting arms. Were that to happen, Ruby is not sure she would ever manage to retrieve the shattered remnants of her heart.

 

Pondering upon Robin invariably leads Ruby’s thoughts back to when he had crossed the town line with the woman he thought was his wife all those months ago (six to be exact). As was expected, Regina put on a facade of detachment, but Ruby was not fooled. She’d seen just how deeply Regina felt for him and knew, as well as everyone else did, that the Mayor’s stoicism was an attempt to internalize her pain.

 

In the days and weeks after Robin’s departure, Regina increasingly isolated herself from the people that cared about her in order to grieve privately. To Ruby's keen disappointment, Regina’s so-called friends seemed to accept the distance, giving her a wide berth she didn't really need. It was easy to see how it might seem Regina wanted to be left alone since the former Queen put up a strong front with the best of them, but Ruby knew from personal experience that such alienation was the worst thing possible for someone caught in the vertigo-inducing undertow of profound grief.

 

Many years ago Ruby had killed the boy she loved because she hadn't known she harbored a ravenous beast beneath her human skin. If it weren't for Snow's affectionate persistence, she might have succumbed to the temptation to curl in on herself in an effort to remain forever sundered from human interaction. Already mired in the guilty despair that had threatened to suffocate the life out of her, choosing to remove herself from human contact would surely have driven her to the brink of insanity, which only became all too apparent to Ruby upon meeting her hedonistic mother. That encounter reinforced for Ruby just how much she needed to be around the people she loved, and after that, she was never found far from Snow’s side again.

 

In peering through the lens of her own experience, Ruby believed that rather than respectful passivity, Regina had needed active support from those that cared for her most. The proud but hurting Mayor had needed a Snow to lean on just like Ruby did – that is, a persistent friend who wouldn’t take no for an answer even under the threat of receiving a fireball to the face. Being aware of this pained Ruby because everyone in Regina’s inner circle seemed to be so wrapped up in their own business that they couldn’t see her suffering, or if they did, they willfully ignored it whilst sitting idly on their asses.

 

Ruby was particularly upset with Snow, though she could not really come up with justifications for anyone else either. But because of what she and Snow had lived through together, there was no acceptable excuse in her mind for her best friend to not recognize the signs of Regina's withdrawal, especially when Snow claimed so often and so vehemently to love Regina. And yet the hard truth was that Snow did miss all the signs right along with everyone else.

 

The same people, Snow included, who should have been there for Regina had their noses stuffed so far up their own asses that they didn't notice the subtle changes in her demeanor. They remained blissfully ignorant as those fiery brown eyes began to dull on a daily basis and they didn't seem to care that more often than not Regina looked like she was slowly folding in on herself almost as if gravity was crushing her into an inescapable singularity one excruciating inch at a time. Finally after a week of watching the older woman look and act so defeated, Ruby grew tired of inaction and decided to do something on her own.

 

One day when Regina was loitering on her favorite bench in the park, Ruby used the guise of happenstance as an excuse to interact with the ailing Mayor. Truth be told she had caught sight of a downtrodden Regina meandering toward the park after leaving the diner one afternoon and had not-so-subtly arranged a break so she could, “go for a quick run to blow off some steam.” Granny’s knowing eyebrow raise and look of disapproval had not deterred Ruby one bit as she sped out the door to the harsh jingling of bells and the curious eyes of the customers.

 

When she approached Regina in the park, the older woman was absently stirring her morning coffee while appearing perpetually on the verge of tears. Seeing that it was a slow day at the diner and they were alone at that point in the park, Ruby sidled over and quite without invitation plopped down next to Regina on the bench.

 

“Does this look like doggy day at the park, Miss Lucas?” Regina had snarked, sable brows scrunched together in annoyance.

 

Ruby just grinned back at her. “Nope, but this spot was empty and my legs needed a rest. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Not that it matters,” Regina rolled her eyes. “But I suppose I could have worse company on such a dreary day. A black cat for instance.”

 

Ruby chuckled at the second dig at her affliction. She took Regina’s humor being intact as a good sign.

 

“While that was a backwards compliment if I ever heard one, I’ll take it.”

 

“A wise decision.” Regina had then turned to stare off into the distance, eyes going dull again.

 

Silence then descended, and Ruby shuffled in her seat for a few moments before something unexpected happened. Out of the blue words began tumbling out of her as if her brain inexplicably lost its filter. In a stream of consciousness confession fit for only the most patient of priests, she bared her heart to the wounded woman sitting next to her, relating her own story in all its gory details.

 

At first, Regina had looked stunned beyond the fact she was being engaged by a person she only rarely interacted with outside of a professional setting and whose existence she at best shallowly acknowledged. But Ruby couldn’t seem to help herself. She’d prattled on and on about how she understood Regina’s pain, attempting to prove her assertions by disclosing the most sensitive part of her tragic past.

 

As Regina listened, shocked but fascinated, Ruby described Peter, her first love, relaying with a wistful smile her perpetually vivid memories of his charm and wit, of how handsome he was and how patient he had been with her while she was dealing with changes in herself she hadn't understood. She also admitted to Regina that she was so certain of her love for Peter that she gave him her virginity and that it still haunted her to know she was directly responsible for his death.

 

In a turn of events she hadn’t honestly expected, the more Ruby shared the more she felt Regina start to soften. After finishing her tale, much to her pleasant surprise. the battered former Queen opened up to her in return. In muted tones, Regina related the story of her own young love with her precious stable boy, Daniel, and by the time she was done telling her story, they were both were in tears – of course, Ruby had cried far uglier than the ever-elegant Queen.

 

Ultimately, Ruby’s gesture wound up being a cathartic experience for both women, having served as an outlet for them to unburden themselves of pain they had held on to for far too long. That it seemed to help Regina forget about Robin for a moment was an added bonus that gave Ruby an incredible amount of satisfaction.

 

That day in the park was the beginning of something precious. After that Regina started coming in to the diner more and more frequently just to talk while sipping on a cup of coffee or a specially made milkshake. Eventually they got so comfortable with one another that she even asked for Ruby's phone number so they could continue their conversations in a more private setting. Night after night they held hours long conversations, discussing anything and everything that came to mind. By the time a month passed, Ruby began to anticipate Regina’s calls so much that each night at a quarter til 10, she would drop whatever she was doing, scramble to her apartment, and hop into bed to eagerly await the ringing of her phone.

 

I didn’t take very long for her to realize that she was falling in love, and it wasn't just a gradual descent but was precipitous and thrilling and so all-consuming that her entire life began to revolve around Regina. But at the same time, she also knew that Regina did not return that sentiment, having still been – or at least Ruby had thought she was – hung up on Robin. With the revelation of her feelings being ostensibly stymied as they were unrequited, panic set in hard and fast, which in turn triggered Ruby’s fight or flight response.

 

In an unfortunate show of cowardice, she tried to temporarily extricate herself from the budding friendship in order to regroup. But after three days of totally avoiding the unwitting object of her affections, Ruby was surprised to receive a visit at her apartment from an extremely confused Regina.

 

“Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” she'd asked the moment Ruby opened the door, and she had appeared so hurt and vulnerable standing in the doorway that Ruby cursed herself for her utter lack of a spine.

 

“No, not even close,” Ruby had sighed, hating her cowardice but seeing an opportunity to rectify it. It was one she refused to let slip away. “The problem is that you did something right.”

 

Looking up with haunted brown eyes, Regina drew her brows tightly together. “I don't understand.”

 

Averting her eyes, Ruby had considered how transparent she should be. Wrestling that answer out of the titanic struggle between her head and her heart was not easy under the pressure of not wanting to hurt Regina while preserving her own feelings. At first she'd been tempted by logic to simply soothe Regina's fears without revealing too much, not wanting to risk their burgeoning friendship. But her heart had an altogether different purpose, and in the end, as it usually goes with Ruby, the heart got what it wanted.

 

Scared beyond belief, she'd turned her eyes back to Regina with a hesitant, imploring expression that was an echo of the turmoil she'd felt inside.

 

“I don't know what to say except to just be honest with you, so here goes” she’d begun. “I'm in love with you. I don't know how it happened, it just did, and I know you don't feel the same way. You love Robin, and I'm okay with that. Really, I am. It's just hard to be your friend right now when I feel this way.” Taking a shaky breath, Ruby brushed a nervous hand over her hastily tied back hair. “I need time to get past this, Regina. If you can give me that, I promise things will go back to the way they were. We can still be friends.”

 

Holding a white knuckled grip on the opened door, Regina floored Ruby by responding with the words that changed everything. “And what if I don't want you to get past it? What if friendship is not enough for me anymore?”

 

Not daring to hope, Ruby had just stared until the earnestness in Regina’s eyes convinced her she was not hearing things or that her imagination was not running amok on her. Her breath leaving her in a whoosh, she stumbled back. “I...I...” she stuttered, tripping as clumsily on her words as she was with her feet. “Do you...do you mean that?”

 

All at once Regina’s entire demeanor changed. Her confidence came back along with her swagger, and without hesitation she stepped forward to lean into Ruby's personal space. “Would I do this if I didn't?”

 

And then their lips were touching, chastely at first, but rapidly shifting into something dangerous when Regina pressed flush against Ruby and tilted her head to deepen the kiss. Ruby can still remember how the whole world faded away as her toes curled up inside her ratty Converse sneakers. For her, that kiss shifted the foundations of the earth itself.

 

When they parted, she was so ecstatic and overcome by sensation that she blurted out, “Will you go on a date with me?”

 

She’d been afraid for an irrational moment that Regina would reject the idea, but the blushing Mayor simply nodded and smiled through a mist of tears forming beneath her lids. “Yes,” Regina then answered with a breathy whisper. “I would love to go on a date with you.”

 

And that, as they say, was that. A handful of dates later on a very memorable Saturday night, they stumbled into Ruby's apartment, barely making it through the door before clothes were being flung clothes in every direction as they kissed their way to the bed. Once both of them were reduced to boneless but satisfied and very happy heaps, they fell asleep and did not wake until late the next morning.

 

That was almost six weeks ago now and Ruby had thought their relationship was growing into something that might actually stand the test of time. She was already in love with Regina when they started dating and had thought Regina was slowly beginning to accept that she hadn't really been as in love with Robin as she had thought but rather was enamored with the idea of him. But as usual, Ruby got in her own way.

 

In a fit of stupidity during their argument, she'd insinuated that because Regina chose to risk herself to help Robin, it meant that she was still clinging to him and, even if just subconsciously, was stringing Ruby along as a temporary replacement. The way Regina reacted to that petty accusation tortured Ruby for hours. It was like she had reached into Regina's chest, ripped her heart out and then callously ground it to dust beneath her heel.

 

With the parting words of, “Perhaps I would have been better off loving Robin rather than an insecure little girl like yourself,” Regina thundered out of the Diner intent on finding Emma to put a stop to whatever machinations Gold and the Author were concocting.

 

The rest of Ruby's day after that was miserable to say the least, especially since a couple of hours later her wolf senses started going haywire, alerting her to something momentous happening. With her instincts to find Regina kicking in, she'd had to beg out of work early to straighten things out before it was too late. Thankfully, Granny had understood.

 

“Go get your girl,” the elder Lucas had said, smirking annoyingly. “And don't mess it up this time, huh? I can't afford to train a replacement for you.”

 

“Gee, thanks, Granny,” Ruby replied, rolling her eyes as she departed the diner and out into the cold Maine air.

 

Once out of the Diner, Ruby searched most of town for Regina before giving up and deciding to go back to wait at her Regina’s place. She'd been about to head towards Mifflin Street when she noticed Regina's black coat and purple dress crossing Main Street, leading to her current position standing hesitantly in front of the woman she loves like a pup about to have her face rubbed in her own mess. It is, Ruby thinks, the least she deserves.

 

“Hey,” she breathes, apology written all over her face. She looks up at Regina through her lashes, feeling suitably chastised by the moderately stern glare being directed her way. “I came to tell you how sorry I am for what I said. I love you and I didn't mean it. I was just...”

 

Holding up her hand, Regina interrupts the speech. Her stance loses it's hard set as her features relax into a smile that is genuine erring on the side of apologetic. “Say no more. I didn't mean it either, sweetheart. But as much as I’d love to continue this reconciliation, we have bigger problems at hand.”  
  
Frowning, Ruby glances over at Emma who ducks her head sheepishly. “Hey, Ruby,” the blonde greets weakly. Something, Ruby realizes, is very wrong.

 

Turning back to Regina, she arches her brow. “What's going on?”

 

“The Author has gone a bit off script,” Regina answers, and although her face is unreadable, her eyes indicate how worried she is. “He's determined to alter everything by abusing his power to write us all new stories.”

 

“New and very bad,” Emma adds, seeming just as perturbed by this turn of events. “We need to stop him before he writes something that will make us wish the town was back under the old curse.”

 

Ruby grimaces at the idea of something so horrendous. “Yikes.”

 

“The situation is indeed dire,” the old man pipes up, looking for all the world like he is so exhausted as to be ready to take the longest nap in history. “The scenarios Isaac could construct are nearly endless, and with the Quill and ink in his possession, he has the power to enact them.”

 

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Ruby asks, not trying to be impolite. She is simply curious as to who this stranger is who appears to know so much about their current predicament.

 

“I am the Apprentice,” he tells her, laden with regret that then expounds upon. “It is my error that unleashed Isaac on you all, but it is one I also intend to correct.”

 

Ruby looks to Regina, now a little frightened of the ‘nearly endless’ possibilities this Apprentice made mention of. “Is all of that true?”

 

Nodding sadly, Regina reaches out to grasp Ruby's hand, seeming to have sensed her upset. “Yes it is, so I'd very much appreciate it if you would find Henry and help Snow, David, and Captain Chest-hair watch over him.” To Ruby's left, Emma scoffs at Regina’s creative sobriquet for Hook. “Meanwhile, the rest of us will confront Gold and the Author.”

 

Ruby growls at the suggestion that she leave Regina’s side and glowers directly at her girlfriend to reinforce her displeasure at being so casually dismissed. “Like hell,” she bites out.

 

“Ruby...” The way Regina's voice inflects her name is a warning, though it is one Ruby has no intention of heeding.

 

“Don't you dare ' _Ruby_ ' me,” she interrupts before Regina can spit out demands that Ruby do as she says. “If you think for one minute I'm gonna let you guys do this without me, you've got another thing coming, missy.”

 

What Regina really wants is for Ruby to stay out of the thick of things so that she can concentrate on doing what needs to be done, which is a sensible request were it not for the fact that Ruby is far too stubborn to listen to sense. And then as if to compound Ruby already being on edge, something is nagging persistently at the back of her mind that insists she stay by Regina's side at all costs.

 

In response to Ruby’s declaration, Regina huffs out a breath, her face screwing up with an interesting combination of surprise, annoyance, and amusement. “Is that so?”

 

Ruby straightens, hands on her hips for emphasis. “Damn straight it is! Gold is dangerous and I'm not about to let my friend and the woman I love face him on their own. I'll be right there beside you, always and forev...”

 

But before the last words can be spoken, a brilliant blue light bursts forth from the direction of the Pawn Shop and before Ruby can even brace herself, she is swept away from Storybrooke into a world born from the twisted mind of a dying Mr. Gold and the misguided imagination of one Isaac Heller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm back after a long hiatus for this fandom, and just in time for my favorite week of the year! Yay for Red Queen Week 2016! Can I get a holla? Woo! 
> 
> This story will be very different from my entry last year, so I wanted to take the time in the first chapter to cover some things. Firstly, this is going to get dark. In some way it will be far worse than The Price of Destiny though in some ways it will not. I like to think that being forewarned is being forearmed, so be cautious in reading this. The tags are there for a reason, and you, my lovelies would do well to pay attention to them. Topics are going to be covered here and events will unfold here that will cause great discomfort for some and will outright trigger those who decide to read on despite the warnings. Please, for the love of God, if you are a sensitive person or someone who loses themselves in a story so that perspective becomes impossible, don't continue. It's okay to not read this if you are such an individual. Take care of yourself first because I would absolutely hate to the be the cause of anyone's distress.
> 
> Now, that said, I'm sure there will be some things that go down in the story that will generate some hatred. There are going to be things said and done in this fic that are extremely controversial. I only ask that any discontent be expressed as respectfully as possible. As long as that's done, I won't moderate the comments at all. But be assured that pointless flaming won't last very long. Constructive criticism and discussion only, please!
> 
> To those who are still around having read those warnings, I hope this story does not come across as gratuitous because it isn't. There is an issue on the show with Regina that hasn't been addressed since S1, and it is major, and I think deserving of being put in the spotlight. Every week we watch a show where characters who have done some obscenely atrocious things get whitewashed at worst and at best their sins glossed over with witty quips. My intent is to not do that. If I fail, I apologize profusely. These subjects honestly deserve a more talented and nuanced writer than I, but this is the story that got stuck in my head for Red Queen Week, so this is what came out. If it makes even a little impact in perception of the characters, I'll consider it a success.
> 
> Finally, try to enjoy the story as much as possible. I'm not going to lie, it will be difficult. But I think the payoff at the end is worth it. If it isn't, then I guess y'all can tar and feather me in the comments. ;)
> 
> That's it, I think, except for one last bit of info: read the intro notes/chap summary if there are any! This is important, as that area is where I will post additional warnings that might not be covered under the tags (I wasn't liberal with them because I don't want to give too much away). 
> 
> Adios for now.
> 
> P.S. Shout out to the organizers for this fantastic event and to every writer who contributes! You all keep the Red Queen dreams alive.


	2. Of Plucky Bandits and Fairy Wolfmothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now trapped inside faux-EF, the story of Regina and Red falling in love is told. No warnings here besides one for exposition. Foundation work ahead!

" _When you can’t climb your way out of such a hole, you tend to crouch down and call it home…_ " - Nikki Sixx

* * *

 

 **Chapter 1** – Of Plucky Bandits and Fairy Wolfmothers

 

The sun is high in the sky on a crystal clear day and it is almost noon when Regina finally returns to her little hovel nestled within the heart of Sherwood Forest. She has been out hunting and gathering since very early in the morning.

 

Considering the time frame and the season – it is nearly winter – she managed to land a respectable haul of 3 small hares and a decent assortment of berries. While she would have liked to stay out longer to forage, there were other pressing matters she had to attend to during the afternoon. Thus, once the sun neared its crest in the sky, she made haste for home.

 

She returns in good time and upon arriving immediately begins the laborious and somewhat grotesque process of skinning and gutting her haul. Once that is done, she hangs the denuded hares up to bleed them so that she can cook them later on in the evening. After accomplishing those preparations, she sifts through her berries whilst sneaking an indulgent handful here and there. The rest she sets aside with the intent to store them in a nearby stream fed by chilled mountain water until an opportunity presents itself to turn them into preserves.

 

Her next project this afternoon is to mend her everyday attire, which is in dire need of repair. She strips her well-worn clothing off the second she is inside her little shanty and then exchanges them for one of her two tattered dresses which remain in wearable condition. After fetching her needle and thread, she plops down on her makeshift bed of straw and feathers and starts making the necessary repairs, which consume a little more than an hour.

 

Next on the agenda is weapon maintenance, and to that end Regina returns outside to retrieve her sharpening stone. Restoring the bladed edge of her prized carving knife is a tedious but relaxing task, and she settles into it out of a dual sense of habit and necessity. The blade must be razor sharp to properly shave down branches she will utilize to craft vital arrow shafts. Aside from that, though, she truly enjoys taking care of this simple yet essential object, mainly because of its sentimental value.

 

In a stroke of luck some few years ago, she happened across a particularly odious bandit who was holding up a beleaguered family of four for what little pittance they had. After disarming the man and binding him, she left him for the authorities to the profuse gratitude of the family. Very politely, she declined their subsequent offers to pay her from their meager supply of food, saying she hadn't needed anything in return. It was the truth, for in searching the bandits belongings, she'd happened across a very fine carving knife that would suit her purposes perfectly. That knife – along with their safety – was all the payment she required.

 

Once her prized knife is sharp enough to split the flesh of her thumb at a feather-lite touch, Regina collects the bundle of branches she'd obtained earlier in the week. After lugging the stack of wood over to a well-worn stump in front of her ramshackle home, she assumes a comfortable perch upon it from which to fletch them.

 

Shaping the wood of such thin branches is a delicate operation that requires all of her concentration, so she switches off her mind to singularly focus on the task at hand. Swiftly but efficiently she takes a solitary branch and then sweeps the blade down the length of the shaft being careful not to take away too much or too little wood. Perfect arrow shafts require precision, and Regina has always been a perfectionist. By the third branch, she has lost all track of the passage of time to the repetitious nature of her work.

 

It is only the crunching of leaves in the woods nearby that alert her out of the monotonous process. Someone is nearby.

 

Placing the mostly carved branches next to the stump, Regina crosses the small distance over to her hut without making a sound. Years of avoiding the Queen's guards have taught her how to move in nearly undetectable silence, and she utilizes those skills to great effect in order to sneak in, grab her long-bladed hunting knife as well as her bow and quiver of arrows, and then sneak back out to confront the intruder.

 

Like a ghost, she maneuvers her way into the woods, following the nearly imperceptible sounds of her target maneuvering about the terrain. Whoever it is has a very light step, for it is only the stray break of a branch or snapping of a twig that enables Regina to decipher which direction they are moving. Such obvious missteps are a cause for confusion when otherwise she cannot make out their path. And yet she is less concerned about such considerations when there are so few people living nearby her section of the forest, meaning there are only two possibilities as to whom she is currently stalking.

 

The first and least worrisome is that it is a hunter merely tracking their own prey – perhaps a deer or squirrels or even rabbits such as Regina regularly hunts – through the woods. If that is the case, she will need to frighten them away if only to keep them out of indirect danger from the Queen. The only other option as to the identity of her quarry is that the Queen has finally located her and sent either a trusted knight or, even worse, has recruited a new Huntsman.

 

Steeling herself against either of those dreadful possibilities, Regina clenches her jaw and readies her bow. With an arrow nocked in place, she draws the string back to her elbow and then presses on deeper into the woods.

 

“Careful,” a voice speaks from her left as she rounds the trunk of an enormous oak. In one fluid motion, Regina pulls the arrow back to full draw and then whirls about on the source of the voice. “Whoa, there,” a gorgeous brunette in a striking red cloak says, holding up her gloved hands in a gesture of good will. “I didn't mean to scare you.”

 

“Well, you shouldn't have snuck up on me then,” Regina replies in a hostile manner, far more startled than angry. She should have recognized the voice instantly but had been so intent on listening for movement that she'd reacted on instinct. Still, she is annoyed enough to chastise her beautiful visitor. “Dammit, Red! How many times do I have to tell you to announce your presence when you arrive unexpectedly? You weren't due for another two days, so I thought you were someone sent by the Queen! I could have killed you just now!”

 

“But you didn't,” Red retorts, smirking crookedly. Her eyes twinkle in merriment that is infectious in spite of Regina’s annoyance at being blindsided.

 

Sighing, Regina swipes at the dampness upon her brow as she relaxes her stance. Allowing the bowstring to loosen, she removes the arrow from its readied position, replaces it in her quiver, and then lowers her bow. She glares at Red, only half-aggravated now, but still enough to sound chastising when she speaks.

 

“What are you doing here so early?”

 

Looking a bit wounded, Red strides forward to close the distance between them. Stopping just a step away, she nervously rubs at the pale skin of her forearms exposed between her gloves and sleeve.

 

“I just wanted to see you. I've missed you more so than usual.”

 

Closing her eyes, Regina takes a shaky breath. What remains of her anger all but flees at the heartfelt confession. Truth be told she has missed Red, too, and that far more than she is willing to admit aloud. Her tragic and painful past has restrained Regina from saying the words, but in her heart she is certain she loves the strong young woman before her, a woman who has risked death on many occasions to save Regina’s life.

 

Each time Red ventures from Misthaven to visit, she is placing her life on the line just as if she were in open rebellion against the Queen. If the vengeful monarch were to ever discover that Red is consorting with her most hated enemy, there will most surely be hell to pay, and childhood friends or not the Queen will unleash every last ounce of vengeance she can upon Red.

 

It is out of a misplaced sense of protecting Red that Regina holds back her feelings. She is painfully aware of what will happen if she confesses her love. The idiotically loyal woman will almost assuredly feel compelled to abandon her post at the Queen's side so that they could truly be together, incurring a price on her head that would rival the one of Regina's own. What's more, the truth would then come out as to the nature of their relationship, and when that happened, the Queen would go to any length to capture Red in order to leverage her well-being to secure Regina's surrender. That nightmarish scenario is one Regina simply cannot permit to become reality.

 

The Queen is vicious and vindictive, which is no secret within the realm of Misthaven, and fear of her has spread far beyond the borders of that kingdom. What isn’t common knowledge, however, is the lengths to which the Queen is willing to go to get what she wants.

 

Judging solely from the tales Regina has heard from Red, Regina simply cannot risk her lover falling into the hands of a maniac who has abandoned every tenet of human decency in the treatment of captives. The guilt would only be worsened since the blame for Red’s suffering could then justly be laid at Regina’s own feet. For committing the unpardonable crime of daring to love a woman the Queen hates with all of her being, Red would surely be made to endure brutal indignities before suffering a most agonizing death. With that the case, Red being apprehended would leave Regina with no alternative to surrender in order to spare the only person left in the world she cares for more than her own life.

 

Yet while Regina does not wish to be the cause of Red falling under the Queen's wrath, she is powerless to resist the temptation of her werewolf's strong arms and is incapable of denying the comfort of very welcome advances. The way Red provokes her body to respond, to come alive with a single touch, is unlike anything Regina has ever experienced.

 

Everything between them seems fit together so seamlessly, almost as if they are two halves separated from one another by the accident of birth and drawn back together by the invisible and eternal strings of fate. The mundane with Red is sublime while sex is no longer merely an act of physical pleasure so much as it is a transcendental experience of which Regina never wishes to be deprived. After almost a year now of being lovers, she has grown too attached to Red to survive being severed from one another.

 

For most of that year, their only opportunity to be together is during the days surrounding the full moon – a time when Red, as a werewolf, requires space and freedom to indulge her wild alter ego by hunting game to her heart's content. Because the Queen favors her oldest friend to the point of blindness, Red is permitted lengthy absences surrounding Wolf’s Time. It is during these days that Red comes to Regina, each time running the ten leagues that separate Sherwood Forest from Misthaven just so they can be together.

 

That level of fidelity is indicative of the more general way Red showers Regina with affection. Being so openly cared for and in such tangible ways, is new for Regina. To be frank, at first it was downright uncomfortable considering Regina was a woman raised by a coldly distant mother who literally lacked a heart. Regina has never been an overly tactile or expressive person, and while part of that is surely genetic, it is also partly due to her raising.

 

For the most part Regina’s mother could never be bothered to pay attention to her beyond administering punishments for her various failures during the grueling lessons she was subjected to on a daily basis. Her father, on the other hand, had loved her, but only ever in secret to avoid his wife’s wrath. Indulgences for Regina such as birth presents or any type of affection that might be misconstrued as coddling were never permissible, and as a result expression of affection has never come easy for her. Only with Daniel did she feel able to freely display her true self, but that had ended tragically with his death.

 

Aside from that general aloofness, Regina is simply unused to being put first. Her mother had chosen power and her father fear of her mother. Daniel gave her a glimpse at that unique brand of selfless devotion of which writers and poets loftily penned, but it was brief and fleeting and ultimately caused her only pain. As if that were not reason enough to swear off love, immediately after Daniel’s death she was married off to a king she despised and made to be his royal ornament and dutiful even if unwilling human sheath. When the king died suddenly with two years, she then was lead to her so called destiny, a man named Robin Hood with a tattoo of a lion upon his forearm, but she spurned that opportunity out of fear. Years passed before she found him again, and after scrounging up the courage to tell him how she felt, he broke her heart by proclaiming his love for her half-sister.

 

Again and again Regina has been cast aside for the sake of others. But Red _always_ puts her first. Always. If Regina is being brutally honest with herself, it is only in bed that they are true equals, and that is a first for her also. The rest of the time Red expends herself protecting Regina from any and every threat, utilizing her boundless energy to hunt and forage for hours at a time to provide weeks worth of meals capable of sustaining Regina through the long separation to come. In order to bolster the defenses around Regina’s cabin, Red built and maintains a series of clever traps that even a seasoned tracker like Regina cannot detect. And during the cold months she chops copious piles of wood for fires that Regina rarely has enough time to work through before it is time for her lover to return.

 

None of this is done at Regina’s behest, either, nor is it as if Regina approves of Red doing all of these things in her stead. There is simply no stopping the stubborn brunette when she’s set her mind on something, and even though Regina pitches in as best she can, Red so far outpaces her that she can never quite make sense of why she even bothers trying while her supernatural paramour is present.  And despite the affront to Regina’s immense sense of pride, she cannot find it in herself to begrudge Red her unnecessary doting when the days with her during the full moon are what make life worth living.

 

In the years before Red arrived in her life, Regina had persisted only out of an unbreakable will to not be defeated. She hadn't been living, though, not really. She’d been existing on fumes at best and then only out of a simple determination to not allow the Queen's irrational hatred to be what finally killed her. Persisting to merely exist left her unable to enjoy her life in any meaningful way, but she'd lacked the resources or opportunity to change her pitiful state of being.

 

The Queen’s hunt for her was – and still is – never-ending. Patrol after patrol scours the forests near the border Misthaven shares with Sherwood Forest, and guard towers have been erected on every major thoroughfare leading into and out of the realm. Even the minor routes less prone to traffic are now garrisoned, sometimes by squads and sometimes by platoons of the Queen’s best troops. The Queen also employs magical means to procure Regina’s location, such as her magic mirrors and her beloved conspiracy of ravens.

 

With such a vast network at her enemy’s disposal, all Regina could do while on her own was hunker down and hide, eking out a living by utilizing resources from the forest and robbing any careless nobles who ventured beyond the border into Sherwood. That she was able to survive that first year after her banishment was due to almost wholly to sheer tenacity. By the end of it, though, she had developed what she skill was necessary to survive and honed what few others she’d already possessed. She’d become the most famous bandit in all of Misthaven. And yet even having attained notoriety and a fierce level of independence, she had also lost all hope for finding happiness in the future.

 

Breaking free of that pessimistic outlook on life required something more than Regina was able to supply for herself. Her deliverance came in the form of a tall and radiant young woman who possessed an inner strength and goodness that, since they met, has often put Regina to shame while simultaneously inspiring her to rise above the petty criminal she'd become.

 

When Red burst onto the scene of Regina’s life it was in the guise of her other self: an enormous wolf with black fur, razor sharp teeth, and eery amber eyes. Regina had been injured and cornered in the forests bordering Misthaven, out of options and sure it was the end. Her leg had been pierced by an arrow, and though she'd applied a tourniquet, she lacked the strength to outrun the Black Knights that were in rapid pursuit. In pain, without hope, yet still desperate to survive, she’d propped herself against a gnarled old oak tree, drawn her bow and waited to make her last stand. It never happened. Screams soon echoed into the night, and she had only been able to listen in horror as the knights that hunted her down were ripped apart one by one.

 

Minutes later, glowing eyes peered out of the inky darkness in her direction. Emerging out of the shadows, the wolf approached, blood dripping from its enormous jowls. With its head lowered but ears erect, it approached slowly and cautiously, strangely appearing as nonthreatening as such a frightening yet majestic beast can seem considering the carnage it was wearing proudly upon its fur. As if influenced by some force more powerful than her own conscious will, Regina lowered her weapon and awaited the wolf's decision.

 

To her eternal surprise, a deep groaning began, and she watched in utter fascination as the wolf transformed into a woman before her very eyes – and not just any woman, but the most beautiful creature Regina had ever laid eyes on.

 

“Hello, I'm Red,” the woman greeted, her voice nectar and honey for sweetness.

 

“You're the Queen's werewolf,” Regina had replied, stating the obvious. Still panting lightly from pain and overexertion, her head began to swirl, so she eased herself down the trunk of the tree until she was sitting awkwardly at the base.

 

“Yes, I am,” Red had acknowledged as she walked the last few yards on her human legs to stand before Regina. Kneeling gently, she removed her leather gloves and extended her arm toward the arrow protruding from Regina's leg.

 

Regina jerked back out of fearful reflex, a jolt of pain lancing through her wounded limb from toe to hip. She bared her teeth menacingly, a foolish reaction in retrospect considering the power lurking behind smooth ivory flesh and impossibly green eyes.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Withdrawing her hand slightly, Red looked back up innocently, eyes so startlingly different from the throbbing intensity of the wolf's. “Relax,” she assured, “I'm not here to hurt you. I can help with that leg if you'll let me.”

 

“How?” Regina grunted, trying to sit more upright by scooting backward against the trunk of the tree.

 

“My Granny taught me how to mend wounds,” Red explained. “We werewolves tend to get hurt a lot, so it's necessary for us to learn how to treat ourselves. Our ability to regenerate quickly can take care of most wounds with time, but there are occasions emergency intervention is required. I've patched myself up more times than I can count, so I'd be more than happy to take a look at that for you. May I?”

 

Drawing her bottom lip in, Regina had to bite down to keep from crying out against the pain. Before answering, she took a moment to study Red's brilliant eyes. The eyes, her mother had taught her, were windows into a persons thoughts and intents, and Regina had learned how to read them very well. Many times her life had depended on that ability and it had never failed her. In Red's, she saw only kindness and compassion, which was a bit disconcerting considering to whom the werewolf owed allegiance.

 

Suddenly dubious, Regina asked, “Why are you doing this?”

 

As if expecting the question, Red did not miss a beat, although there was a sadness about her that betrayed her conflicted loyalty.

 

“I'm the Queen's oldest friend but I no longer share her view of the world,” Red answered. “I stay with her out of love for the sweet girl she used to be. But only for that. I don't condone or participate in her cruelties, so I help out wherever and whenever I can. I don't agree with her obsessive pursuit of you, either, by the way.” She crooked her lips into a knowing smile. “Just in case you were wondering.”

 

Regina blinked. She had assumed Red knew who she was, but to hear it confirmed aloud only reinforced the precarious nature of her position. Although spoken of in mythical terms more than seen, the Queen’s werewolf was the most feared beast in all of Misthaven. Regina always wondered why so pragmatic an individual as the Queen didn’t utilize the most valuable weapon in her vast arsenal to hunt her sworn foe down.

 

Since an opportunity to indulge that curiosity had so auspiciously presented itself, Regina took it.

 

“So you know who I am?”

 

Red nodded. “I do. It's why I chose to help you.”

 

That only furthered Regina’s confusion, and her head cocked subconsciously in concert with it. “Excuse me for seeming obtuse. But why?”

 

Red chuckled at the onslaught of questions, eyes crinkling with amusement. “Simply put, you interest me.” When Regina quirked a brow indicating the insufficiency of that answer, Red gave her a grin that bared impressively rows of pearly teeth. Regina had thought then – and still does – that Red’s was the prettiest smile in the whole world if not the most dangerous. “To be more specific,” Red continued, “no one has ever stood up to Snow like you. You defy her without fear while at the same time going out of your way to help those in need. Over time, you’ve become a symbol of hope to people. I respect the hell out of that. Am I making any sense?”

 

Regina nodded her confirmation even though she thought Red’s explanation was absurd. She was no symbol of hope. When she opened her mouth to retort, she shifted a bit, which jostled her injured leg. The intensity of the resulting pain had her sucking in air through her teeth.

 

In response, Red reached forward with her hand, attentively following Regina’s eyes the entire time for final approval. With anguished nod, Regina at last acquiesced. Having been granted permission, Red leaned in closer and then stuck out a single finger to inspect the area around the wound. The contacting pressure of the long, thin digit caused Regina to curse each time it was repeated.

 

“Sorry,” Red winced, blushing just a bit in apology upon completing the examination. “I don't feel any signs of internal bleeding, so I think the arrow missed the major blood vessels, which is good news. You should be okay for me to get you back to your cabin to treat you properly.”

 

The casual nature of that statement shocked Regina out of her woozy stupor. She stiffened reflexively at the revelation that the Queen’s werewolf knew where she lived.

 

“That's a generous description of my home if ever I heard one,” she said, feeling out Red’s intent even though she had been nothing but kind. “I'm curious how you know where I live, though, and for how long you have known.”

 

Red responded by giving Regina a conspiratorial wink and then replying, “I've known since a week after you built that quaint little shack in Sherwood Forest.”

 

“And you said nothing? Surely turning me in would have afforded you a handsome reward.”

 

Red shrugged as if the concept lacked meaning to her. “Nothing to say. As I told you, I don't support the Queen's methods or her vendetta, and gold holds no allure for me. I'm a simple woman who values much more intangible things. So, I won't be helping her kill you if I’ve not made that abundantly clear already. Besides, even if I did support the Queen, I admire your pluckiness too much to ever hurt you.”

 

Narrowing her eyes, Regina huffed. “My pluckiness, you say? Never imagined that would be why I still have a head on my shoulders. I always figured it was my razor sharp wit or sparkling personality.”

 

At that, Red laughed, a sound so delightful that warmth blossomed in Regina’s chest that quite unexpectedly lifted her spirits while also dispelling a small but appreciable measure of her pain.

 

“And you’re sassy, too!” Red said after a moment, her laughter having subsided. “The lady has more charm than the Queen gave her credit for.”

 

“That’s right, I'm a regular princess,” Regina sighed, the corners of her own rebellious lips turning up at Red’s mirth.

 

But then Red’s expression abruptly changed, and she stood up, pulled on her gloves, and then extended her hand. “Well then, Princess, what do you say we get you home and all fixed up?”

 

Against her better judgment, Regina took the proffered hand and allowed Red to pull her up. She groaned in agony as she came upright. Another shot of pain erupted from her leg, causing her to wobble unsteadily in place.

 

“I’m not gonna lie, this will hurt like hell,” Red then said with remorseful eyes, and then hefted Regina up into her arms bridal style without any warning whatsoever.

 

She was right. The searing, white hot explosion of pain in Regina’s maimed leg was so terrific that she passed out almost immediately.

 

Upon awakening once more, she was shocked to find herself back abed in her tiny hovel. It took a few seconds for the cobwebs to clear in her head, but once she was more alert she immediately noticed that her leg was freshly treated and bandaged and a small fire was burning in her crudely fashioned fireplace. She tried to sit up only to gasp at the protest from her leg and then fall back into her poor excuses for pillows.

 

“I wouldn't do that,” Red commented from just outside the entryway where she was hovering while carrying a modestly sized deer over her shoulder like it weighed next to nothing. She then proceeded to dump the carcass next to the door before wandering in to check on Regina. “Your wound is healing well but it'll need several days to be useful again. During that time, you shouldn't be out of bed more than a few minutes per hour.”

 

“How am I supposed accomplish anything productive laying around like an invalid?” Regina protested, her mind already calculating how far behind she’d fall in her daily requirements in such a time span.

 

“You shouldn't have to,” Red supplied with a tone as kind as her brilliant emerald eyes. “I'll be here at least that long. I can take care of your chores until then.”

 

“I can take care of myself, thank you. I'm no charity case,” Regina had groused back, not liking being disabled and hating being cared for even more. She had looked after herself for so long by then that it was offensive to consider allowing anyone to help her.

 

As if perceiving her thoughts, Red gave a longsuffering sigh, though her expression was more amused than annoyed. “And I won't treat you like one. Even plucky bandits deserve a rest from time to time, so think of me as your fairy wolfmother who's decided to grant you a little much needed rest and relaxation.”

 

Unable to help herself, Regina snorted. “Fairy wolfmother, you say. What are the magic words to summon you? ‘ _Abracadaver?_ ’ ‘ _Hocus lupus?_ ’ ‘ _Howl_ _akaz_ _am_ _?_ ’ Or h ow about: ‘ __Yipfora_ _ _-_ _Lapandthen_ __-_ _ __C_ _ __hew?_ _ _’”_

 

A burst of laughter spilled from Red as she bent over at the waist and clapped her hands on her thighs. “By the gods, those are amazing!” she spat out around peels of laughter. After a long bout of merriment, she finally calmed enough to straighten up and compose herself. “Beautiful, charming, plucky, and funny,” she then said, voice that lovely shade of amber once more while her green eyes shimmered with some mysterious emotion that made Regina's heart speed up and her skin begin to tingle. “I don't think there's anything I could add to that list that could make you more perfect.”

 

Watching Red laugh and then hearing her sweet compliment signaled a shift of perspective for Regina that had her questioning the way she was living her life. Up until then, she'd slogged through each day miserably and was happy just to be alive once the sun went down. But Red made her remember what Daniel had spent so much time teaching her: that there was more to life than existing. There was laughter and tears and love and friendship to experience, those human emotions that enrich life and elevate it into a higher plane.

 

When Red departed for Misthaven a few days later, it was with a promise to return, one that an alive and healthy Regina clung to over the three weeks that followed. To her great bewilderment, however, those weeks did not seem so interminably bitter as they once might have. In analyzing the situation for a reason for her sudden spate of hopefulness, it suddenly dawned on her that she had finally found something – or rather someone – to look forward to. And so when her new werewolf friend appeared in her doorway three weeks and five days later, Regina could not contain the pleased smile that spread across her features.

 

Months passed by all too quickly after that until eventually their routine became so important to Regina that she would await Red’s arrival at the border nearest the area of Sherwood where she made her home. Each time Red arrived in her wolf form, loping steadily along with her tongue hanging out, and each time upon catching sight of Regina waiting, she would break into a sprint with her tail wagging and her ears back, a look of such delight on her wolfish features that shivers of affection would spread through Regina's chest. But then seven days were gone in a blur of wonderful memories, and it would inevitably come time for Red to return to the Queen’s side within the foreboding confines of the Dark Palace.

 

After seven months of such happy meetings and melancholy separations, it grew intolerable for Regina to endure saying goodbye. It got to the point that she began to dread that one heartrending moment with such intensity that it sullied her final hours with Red.

 

On the last such occasion, unable to face watching her precious werewolf leave yet again, Regina chose not to escort Red to the border on her way back to Misthaven. She’d told herself she was sparing them both the hardship of a painful parting, but all she managed to do was leave a confused and teary-eyed Red to tear off into the forest before transforming into the wolf and howling her sadness to the waning moon.

 

While Red ran and mourned in hurtful confusion, Regina wept miserably inside her hut. It was in that moment she realized she had fallen in love with Red and had just sent her away without telling her the truth. Guilt settled into her gut almost immediately where it stayed for the three months that came and went before Red showed up again.

 

In spite of the nagging fear she had scorned Red into staying away, Regina followed their routine each month without fail. In the days leading up to the full moon she could be found sitting alone in the forest at the border worrying herself sick over that the Queen had found out Red was visiting and had her mercilessly slaughtered in retaliation. During those interminably long months, Regina castigated herself over and over and over again for her callous treatment of the woman who had given her so much without asking for anything in return. She pined ceaselessly for Red with an ache in her heart that refused to fade no matter how many rich, portly nobles she robbed or how many of the Queen's men she made fools of. The things that used to satisfy her now only left a void.

 

When Red finally showed up that fourth month, Regina was waiting as usual. Yet unlike she would normally, Red transformed before reaching Regina and walked slowly but steadily toward the guilt-ridden bandit who had hurt her so badly.

 

“I didn't think you'd come,” Regina had said in lieu of greeting.

 

“I wasn't going to,” was Red's sad reply. “I thought you didn't want me to so I stayed away as long as I could. But I couldn't make myself stay away anymore.” Before Regina could blink, Red advanced rapidly and closed the gap between their bodies.

 

“I need you,” she then admitted, so close that Regina could smell the sweetness of her breath – crushed pine needles and wolfweed (which is a specialized herb found only in Misthaven that smelled like jasmine and tasted like sweet mint and was particularly favored by wolves for quick bursts of energy). Leaning in closer, Red pressed herself flush against Regina from hip to breasts and rested her hands low on Regina waist. Drawing in a shaky breath, her expressive eyes were dancing with unadulterated affection. “But that’s not all,” she whispered as she bridged the distance between their lips. “I love you, Regina. More than you’ll ever know.” That first kiss was one Regina would never forget.

 

The next three days were spent largely within the cramped but homely confines of Regina's hut. The only time they ventured outside was to relieve themselves, to take brisk morning walks, or to cuddle up beneath the canopy of twinkling stars upon a thick bear pelt and ensconced by layers of blankets. Otherwise they occupied themselves by making love for hours and talking even longer.

 

Over deer jerky and mint tea they spoke of their pasts, of their hopes and dreams for the future, and learned about the hurts that had driven them to become the women they were. Under the flickering flames of a roaring fire, they mapped each others bodies, deciphering how to fully please, how to tantalizingly tease, and how to draw out the ecstasy until all cogent thought was banished away to be replaced by primal lust-driven instinct. With kisses, bites, and suckles, they marked each other and claimed each other, promising through actions both passionate and tender that there would never be anyone else.

 

Nothing was ever the same after that except for the fact that Red was liberal with her declarations of love while Regina held hers in. She didn't know how much longer she could do that, though. Every time Red went away it got harder to watch her leave without crying after her, “I love you, Red! More than you’ll ever know!” just as Red had whispered to her so many moons ago. Were circumstances different, she would have been proud for all the world to know how much she cherished her beloved werewolf, but because she loved Red so much and understood the consequences of their relationship, she was unwilling to externalize what she felt.

 

“I'm guessing by your silence that you didn't miss me at all,” Red states, breaking Regina from her trance-like reverie. “While I was away, I cried myself to sleep at night. Bitter tears, Regina. Choking sobs. Needing your arms around me just so I could sleep. It was horrible!”

 

Focusing back on her lover, Regina notices the corners of Red's alluring lips turned up in a teasing way. Reaching out, she swats a toned shoulder.

 

“Don't be an insufferable ass. You know I missed you.”

 

“Yeah?” Red grins, sidling up to press her body into Regina's. They still fit together perfectly, just like always. “How about a kiss then? You know...to prove it.”

 

“You think you've earned proof of my affections, do you?” Regina quips, teasing her lover back. It is part of their game, part of their monthly dance of courtship. Red teases, Regina teases back, they kiss, clothes go flying, and then indelible memories are made.

 

Narrowing her eyes, Regina purses her lips in exaggerated contemplation. She hums for a moment before continuing, “I don't know. Not only do you come here on a month basis to eat my food and steal my blankets and my kisses, but you sass me continually. If that wasn’t bad enough, you persist in smacking my ass or tickling me until I can't breathe when you know those things drive me insane. The worst of it all, though? You influence me to sleep in way past sunrise with your wicked ways. I lose hours a day because of you, Red! Hours I can't get back. I'll lament those hours when I'm on my deathbed. With all of that in mind, do you still believe you've earned that kiss?”

 

“When you put it that way, yes, I do!” Red replies, still smiling. “Sounds to me like you were a boring old lady when I met you. Now your life has spice! I'd say that definitely earns me a kiss...at the very least.”

 

“Hah!” Regina barks out, eyes twinkling with delight at their repartee. “If by spice you mean the way you shed all over the place? Yes, my life is so much more exciting. In addition to dirt, one per month I now have to pick fur out of my bedding and my hair and my food stores, as well as off of my floor and table. Oh, and don't think I didn't catch that not-so-subtle dig at my age. I am your elder, dear, but I am by no means old. Tell me: did you want to sleep outside tonight? Because if that is your goal, you are most admirably succeeding.”

 

Red shrugs playfully and then presses a kiss enticingly near to the corner of Regina's lips. “I’ll bear that privation only if you promise to join me.”

 

Sighing in tacit resignation, Regina leans in to give Red what she wants, placing a chaste kiss to her lover's lips. Red whines in disapproval when the kiss is broken after a scant few seconds.

 

“Since I can’t very well be sleeping outside, that will have to suffice,” Regina taunts, drawing away while Red chases after her lips, much to Regina’s smug satisfaction. “That's all you get for calling me an old woman. Twelve years is not that much difference, you kn...”

 

Regina never gets to finish the sentence because in a flash of motion, Red is upon her, grasping her face and plunging their mouths together in a heated kiss that becomes delightfully indecent within seconds. As Red backs Regina into the hovel, she begins to deftly disrobe the shorter woman between feverishly sloppy kisses.

 

“Mmm,” Regina moans into Red's warm mouth, and then gasps when Red breaks the kiss to attach her mouth to the junction of her neck and collar bone. “I missed you,” she breathes, and then gasps again when Red moves south, parting Regina’s blouse as she goes, and a third time when Red’s mouth clamps wantonly upon a much more sensitive area of her anatomy then proceeds to lave it in circles with her velvet tongue. “Oh, gods...so damn much.”

 

Red responds with a prideful smile before returning to plunder Regina's mouth. Long fingers bury themselves into the raven tresses at the back of Regina’s neck, freeing them from their hasty tie so that they spill about her shoulders in loose waves. Stumbling at the edge of her tattered bed mat, Regina falls back onto it with an audible oomph. Red does not allow her a second to recover, pouncing immediately so that she lands atop Regina. The enthusiastic werewolf immediately seeks out another probing kiss.

 

“So damn much, huh?” Red asks, still panting after pulling away to shed her own clothes. Quick work is made of a corset and tunic, and somehow Red miraculously shimmies out of her skirts without losing her position straddling Regina’s thighs. Left in naught but her flawless skin and a sultry smile that sends heat straight to Regina’s core, Red commands with rumbling timbre, “Show me.”

 

Grinning wickedly, Regina pulls her lover roughly down by a handful of her silky brown mane, one of the brunette’s many exquisite features.

 

“With pleasure.”

 

And much like the overachiever she’s always been, that is precisely what Regina does until Red is howling out her ecstasy to the luminous moon overhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter presents the new narrative that will carry the rest of the way through the story. The Prologue is the only chapter told from Ruby's POV, so the rest of this story is Regina's, and that is a deliberate choice for two reasons, one of which I will not disclose just yet. What I can say is that I approached the chapters that take place within the confines of _Heroes & Villains_ as it was a story unto itself. As most book tend to focus on one protagonist throughout, so too does this one, and I chose Regina as the lens through which we will see an alternate version to this fake world that is pretty drastically different from the one everyone saw on TV.
> 
> The purpose of this chapter is to give a general rendition of how our characters catch up to the narrative within _Heroes & Villains_. A lot of groundwork is laid for why Regina and Red behave the way they do inside this false world. I wanted to get Red close to her EF counterpart, but with Regina, we all know she was vastly different than hers in this episode. This Regina is somewhere between RealWorld Regina and the Queen, but falling on the side of the mayor. So left of center, I'd say.
> 
> Only with Red do we see glimpses of Regina's better self, as in a way Red serves as a stand in for Henry in the literary EF. Red is the impetus for Regina starting to care again, which is important because she is now vulnerable, and as we all now vulnerability can be exploited. For now, she is happy though, which is a drastic change from the show. In the show, Regina was miserable and alone and her entire arc was about rescuing Robin from her crazy-ass sister and falling in love with him all over again in the process. I wanted to do something unique, so my preference to write established relationships worked out beautifully. In this story, Regina is already in love, so her journey will be about preserving what she already has rather than trying to find something that's been taken away from her.
> 
> Anyway, enough babbling about story mechanics and themes. I hope this chapter was enjoyable. See y'all tomorrow!


	3. Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the night before, Regina and Red make plans. Mostly a fluff chapter, no warnings here. Enjoy!

" _I wake up in the morning, and it comes back to you._

_I breathe in I breathe out, it comes back to you._

_I stare up at the ceiling, and it comes back to you._ " - "Permission" by Sixx A.M.

* * *

 

 **Chapter 2** – Early Morning Planning 

 

Regina wakes with a groan, aching pleasantly in all the right places. Memories of the incredible night before come flooding back, eliciting a sleepy smile as she stretches against her dozing lover. The early morning light is only just filtering through the cracks in the door, so she is in no hurry to move. Currently of a mind to lounge in a few more hours, she snuggles back into the warmth that she misses so dearly when she is alone.

 

Red’s body is a radiant source of heat that surpasses the best blankets gold can afford. Even the thick and luxurious fabrics she’d been afforded as Queen cannot compare to the cocoon of comfort that wraps around her when Red’s lithe frame is so wonderfully close.

 

Heaving a thoroughly contented sigh, Regina nuzzles her cheek upon Red's bare chest, eyes sliding shut to drift back to sleep. She is half under the pull of drowsiness when a hand begins to gently rub the small of her back. Eyes cracking open, Regina tilts her head up to catch blurry green eyes regarding her with unfiltered happiness. Red’s entire countenance is alight with a luminous adoration that causes Regina’s chest to swell with emotions that are nearly uncontainable.

 

“’Morning, my plucky bandit,” Red greets, a lazy smile stretched across her lips. Her voice is a welcome song to Regina’s inclined ears.

 

Regina chuckles at the traditional morning greeting Red has adopted ever since they met. “Good morning, fairy wolfmother,” she replies as she props herself slightly upon the elbow nestled between Red’s right arm and ribs. When her disheveled but absolutely adorable werewolf’s smile widens, Regina leans down to kiss her.

 

Red hums against Regina's lips as the kiss lingers, and after parting, she says, “I think we just broke the fairy code. Fraternization or some such nonsense...think I'll get in trouble like Nova did?”

  
The referenced story is one Red recounted to Regina once. It involves a fairy named Nova who dared to fall in love with a dwarf named Dreamy. The Blue Fairy, Rheul Ghorm, had forbidden the relationship and intervened to separate the couple. That interference, according to the tale, was largely responsible for Nova ending things with Dreamy, who in his sorrow became Grumpy, who in turn became one of the Queen's most trusted and vicious minions.

 

From Regina’s perspective the story is an illustration as to how taboo romance can lead to disastrous consequences. To Red, however, it is an example of how love is too precious to be wasted even when facing insurmountable opposition. When Red told the story, she had been sending Regina an unspoken message, a vital clue meant to help Regina understand her outlook on life. Dreamy had given up on Nova because of the Blue Fairy's warnings, but Red, no matter what anyone said or did, was not Dreamy and would never give up, even should the Queen herself attempt to intervene.

 

Brushing a strand of hair out of Red's face, Regina places a second, more reverent kiss to her lips. “We broke that long ago, darling,” she replies after two more kisses. “And while I can't say whether you'll get in trouble or not, you can rest assured that I – your dashing lady love – will advocate on your behalf.”

 

“Dashing you say?” One of Red’s perfectly arched brows raise as her fingers dance through Regina's dark locks. “If I recall correctly, when we met you were decidedly _not_. In fact, I seem to remember a certain heroic werewolf having to come to your rescue.”

 

Regina smirks. “Well, I never said I was dashing when we met, now did I?” The quip elicits a warm, merry laugh from Red that stirs up happiness within Regina’s breast.

 

“I concede that point,” Red says, eye twinkling. “In which case, I thank you for your kindness, milady.”

 

Rather than reply immediately, Regina slides atop her lover, arranging herself along the length of Red's torso as her weight settles between long and lean legs, which part receptively to wind over Regina's thighs and calves. Placing her elbows on either side of Red's shoulders, Regina threads her fingers together in the mass of her lover’s dark hair underneath. With their naked bodies flush from nearly head to toe, she inches toward deliciously pink lips, and upon brushing them together, breathes out her response.

 

“ _De nada, mi amor._ ” Regina is well aware how much Red loves it when she speaks in the native tongue of her father's people, so she puts a little extra spice into her pronunciation.

 

Uttering a prolonged groan, Red slides her hands down the length of Regina's back until they are gently cupping her bottom. As she secures their hips more tightly together, her eyes simmer with a bubbling mixture of lust and awein the low light of room.

 

“Say something else.”

 

Pulling back a fraction of an inch, Regina stares at the woman beneath her, awestruck for what seems like the thousandth time by her incredible beauty. It is difficult in that moment to reckon just how much she loves Red, especially considering how hard it had initially been to reconcile herself internally to such an intense, all-consuming emotion.But an opportunity has been presented that Regina cannot let slide, so she permits herself the freedom to surrender control for once.

 

Unbound from her typically iron grip, the words flow effortlessly from the most secret place within her heart.

 

“ _Tú eres perfecta y maravillosa, y te amo con todo mi corazón._ ”

 

“Mmm,” Red sighs as she hums, her eyes sliding shut. There is a goofy smile plastered across her lips that makes Regina inexplicably happy. “I have no idea what you just said but it sounded lovely.”

 

Ducking her head back in, Regina replies, “Not half so lovely as you are,” and then claims Red's lips once, twice, three times before changing the angle ever-so-slightly. Breathing in a deep breath through her nostrils, she parts her lips upon feeling Red’s tongue brush against them and proceeds to swallow up the chest-deep moan that rattles through Red’s frame. For the next several minutes, Regina leisurely devours her lover’s mouth in a kiss that causes Red’s toes to curl against the backs of her calves.

 

When Regina pulls away slightly, Red chases after her retreating lips, sliding one of her hands back up the planed length of Regina's back until reaching the nape of her neck. Once finding purchase in Regina’s hair, she simultaneously pulls them even more closely together and initiates another kiss that is even more intense and probing.

 

Everything else fades into the background and time slips by without notice as they exchange a flurry of heated kisses, tongues swirling together as they express their mutual adoration through actions rather than words. These are the times Regina loves the most, when she and Red just lie abed kissing and cuddling and conversing until late in the morning, so caught up in each other that life outside of her little shack has ceased to warrant her attention.

 

Here with Red there is no Evil Queen hunting her, no bounty on her head, and no life and death struggle to eke out a pathetic existence. With Red there are no expectations beyond being true to herself, only absolute acceptance and an unwavering, unconditional love that provides Regina with the necessary strength to face tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. With Red, there seems to be an inexhaustible supply of hope, which is a sentiment from which Regina had previously believed herself forever divorced.

 

Without even realizing it Red has become her reason for living, superseding her bitter battle for survival and her righteous but seemingly never-ending endeavor to free the world of the Queen's oppression. Those mountainous crusades which had once motivated her no longer hold sway, having eroded away at a breathtaking pace until only dulled stumps remain of the colossi they once were. It is a startling revelation for Regina, and with it comes acceptance of a truth she has been struggling with for past few months: that she would rather live the rest of her life with Red than see the Queen's reign of terror ended. It is with that realization that Regina makes a decision that will change her life – and Red’s by consequence – forever.

 

Living as she has been is no longer an option. Red deserves a better life than this. And no matter what she has to do or what sacrifices she has to make, Regina is determined to make that happen.

 

After reluctantly pulling away from her all-too alluring lover, chest heaving for breath, she says, “I have to tell you something that is going to change everything.”

 

“What is it?” Red replies, panting along with Regina, though her eyes widen with fear. Regina interprets the expression immediately, knowing that Red’s mind is hearkening back to that day she’d departed without receiving a goodbye, only this time she is afraid the separation will be permanent.

 

Smiling gently to relax her lover's unwarranted anxiety, Regina brushes her finger along the crest of Red's forehead, over perfectly arched brows, and down the smooth slope of her nose. She then brushes against swollen lips that she so loves to kiss and on across the perfectly curved length of Red's jaw.

 

“For the past several years I've been saving up just in case I needed to run,” she answers, continuing to touch her lover's face with tender attention. “I almost have enough resources in place now to leave this realm behind and start a new life elsewhere.” In carefully studying Red’s face for reaction, Regina witnesses the exact moment that sentence registers via the barely concealed panic over takes her lover. To dispel it before it can gain any traction, Regina clarifies, “I'd like for you to come with me.”

 

Looking half awed and half stricken with disbelief, Red exhales. “Are you serious?”

 

Regina nods, biting her bottom lip once. “As much as I've ever been. I want you to come away with me, Red.”

 

Her nerves tingle with anticipation at Red’s answer, but also with a fair amount of her own insecurity. Red has power over her that no other since Daniel has wielded, for now that Regina has given voice to her plans, it will be up to Red to decide whether to break her heart or make her the happiest woman on earth. And though she cannot help what are to her very legitimate feelings, she also knows how incredibly selfish it is to hang all responsibility for her happiness upon Red’s shoulders.

 

Before responding, a pensive expression forms upon Red's lovely features. “Before I answer, can I ask you a question and you promise you won't get mad?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Why?”

 

Regina tilts her head slightly, not exactly certain of Red’s meaning. “Why, what?”

 

“Why do you want me to go away with you?” Red elaborates, her emerald eyes insistently pleading for a truthful reason for so sudden and extreme a request. “Why now?”

 

Shifting back a little, Regina props up on her elbows. A frown mars her features, though it is not there due to Red's doubt, but because it is her fault they exist in the first place. She should said the words a long time ago. But there is, as they say, no time like the present, so she summons all of her bravery and releases them into the open.

 

“Because I love you.”

 

Regina is proud that there is no hesitation when she speaks the words aloud for the first time, though she deflates immediately upon Red gasping as if she hadn't ever expected to hear them, which shames Regina deeply. “I'm sorry I haven't said it until now,” she adds. “Please believe me when I tell you that it's not because I haven’t felt that way. The truth is, I've loved you for a long time, I was just too afraid.”

 

“What were you afraid of?” Red inquires, clearly not understanding why fear had been reason enough for Regina to refrain from confessing her love.

 

It is not difficult for Regina to understand why Red would fail to regard fear as a sufficient barrier to prevent free expression of her emotions. Having lived with it for years, and in a more literal way than Regina can imagine, fear to Red has become a normal state of being. Once she had confided in Regina that outside of the one week per month she spends in Sherwood, it is her constant companion.

 

The memory of that conversation flits through Regina’s mind clear as the day they had it.

 

* * *

 

 

“ _To live with the Queen” Red had said, “is to live in constant terror. She rarely ever listens to reason, and sometimes she is cruel for the sake of her own enjoyment. Once she burned one of the bakers alive in his own over because her toast was too brown. Later on after I found out, I asked her why she did that. Know what she told me? ‘I thought it’d be amusing to make toast out of him.’ And then there is the fact that I can’t ever tell when she will ask me to track down one of her enemies and drag them back to her kicking and screaming.”_

 

“ _If it’s that bad, why do you stay?” Regina asked._

 

“ _I told you that I stay for the Snow I loved,” Red replied, expression pinched as if she felt she was being judged._

 

“ _I’m not judging,” Regina soothed. “I’m merely curious. Honoring a friendship, even one that has changed, is admirable, but I can’t help but feel there is more to it.”_

 

_Red had sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose before responding. “There is, but it’s complicated.”_

 

_Regina smiled as she rubbed a circle on the small of Red’s back. “That’s okay, I have a long history with complicated.”_

 

_After sharing a light chuckle, Red took a breath to compose herself, then said, “Well, for one, I can do more good from the inner circle. I’ve helped a lot of innocent people escape because I was able to forewarn them through my various contacts. And then there is David, James’ brother. I didn’t know him until Snow made him her slave, but he’s a good man, one of the best I’ve ever met. I’d feel terrible abandoning him to his fate because I know Snow would take me leaving out on him.”_

 

“ _If he’s as good a man as you say he is, he’d tell you how ridiculous that is,” Regina counters. “He’d tell you save yourself.” When Red starts to object, Regina cuts her off. “However, I know better than to ask that of you. Loyalty is one of your best characteristics.”_

 

* * *

 

 

And it is still is, which makes Regina wonder whether Red will be any more willing to leave now than she was then with the man most know only as Charming still firmly in Snow’s clutches. But at the same time, Red’s life is in greater peril simply because she loves the Queen’s mortal enemy. With each subsequent visit, the risk of discovery by the Queen increases.

 

And yet however complicated and dangerous their relationship has made Red's life, Regina can never regret it. The passion they share far surpasses even the burning inferno of the sun at its highest peak in midsummer. Her need for Red eclipses all sense, so despite her many logical reasons for silence in the past, it has come time to tell the truth.

 

“Afraid of admitting it out loud because that makes it real,” she answers as her thoughts come back full circle to Red’s question. She glances up at her lover with palpable guilt. “If it’s real, that means I have something to lose again, and I've lived on my own for so long and lost so much in the process that it’s hard for me to take on that responsibility.

 

“I was also worried that if I openly admitted my feelings something would happen to you. I still am! I'm scared as hell that the Queen will find out that you've been seeing me and she'll punish you or worse: use you against me. You have to understand, Red, that if she captures you, I will have no choice but to capitulate to whatever she demands.”

 

“Regina...” Red tone protests that assertion, and Regina knows it is not out of disbelief but rather a desire to extract a promise that cannot be made, that Regina never put herself in harm’s way for her sake.

 

“No, darling,” Regina interrupts. “I love you too much to let you suffer for my unwillingness to give the Queen what she wants. I would rather die a thousand deaths than know she’s hurting you because I refused to turn myself in. You have to understand, that day you rescued me from the Queen's men, you did so much more than save my life. In truth, you've been saving me every single day since. I owe my happiness to you. You have made me happier than I ever believed I could be or deserved to be.”

 

“You owe me nothing,” Red insists with imploring eyes. “I saved you because it was the right thing to do. The _right_ thing. No one should need a reward for doing the right thing. And while I never imagined I would fall in love with you, I did, and I'm so thankful. I risk my life daily by loving you but it's a risk I'm willing to take. I do it with my eyes wide open, Regina, ‘cause that's how much I love you. Do _you_ not understand, then, that I also would rather die than see you come to harm? I have spent more than a year protecting you, so I'll be damned if I let you throw your life away to save me!”

 

“But it's not your choice!” Regina exclaims, a tortured expression on her face. “It's mine. Besides, neither of us know what's going to happen, so it's useless to speculate. Nonetheless, if it comes to it, I will do what is necessary to save you. There's nothing you can do or say to change my mind.”

 

In response, Red cups Regina's cheeks and pulls her down for a sweet kiss that is surprising considering how tense the conversation had become. “I know better than to fight you on this,” she then says, a longsuffering smile in place, “so let's not waste any more time arguing. Okay? I'm just happy to know that you love me. I mean, I was pretty sure you did, but it's still nice to hear it out loud.”

 

Regina winces apologetically. “As I said, I'm sorry it took so long,. I may seem strong on the outside but on the inside I'm weak. I'm not half the woman you are.”

 

Red grins impishly at Regina’s phrasing. “No, you're more like three quarters.”

 

The eye roll that joke provokes from Regina is dramatic even by her own standards. She still chuckles, though, if only because Red’s goofiness is a most endearing quality among a vast ocean of them.

 

“I'm not that short.”

 

“You are pretty tiny, short-stuff,” Red teases. “But I love you in spite of your vertical deficiency.”

 

Regina narrows her eyes and playfully warns, “While I’m glad you do, you best watch it with the slights at my height since we both know I'm a better shot than you.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Red responds, rising up to the challenge as she always does. “It takes more than an arrow to stop me. That’s not to mention that I can outrun you, and out-jump you, and also overpower you. I can sneak up on you, too, as evidenced by yesterday. So there.” She then juts out her tongue childishly.

 

A sable eyebrow quirks up at the adolescent gesture. “Yes, but that is under the power of the wolf, dear. That's cheating.”

 

Looking scandalized, Red gasps. “Are you calling me a cheater?”

 

“If the paw fits.”

 

“Why, I have never been so disparaged in all my life!”

 

Red is mock pouting now, and it is far too adorable for Regina to resist. With a laugh, she removes one arm from beside Red's head to poke her lover in the ribs, which causes a bark of laughter. “You're young yet,” she says around her own merriment, “but stick around because I can do much better than that.”

 

Still bubbling with laughter, Red rolls her eyes in a distorted impression of Regina. “You sure do know how to woo a girl.”

 

“I got you into my bed, didn't I?”

 

At that, Red scoffsharshly in mock affront and then forcefully swats Regina's ass. The loud smacking of flesh on flesh coincides with a pain that sets Regina growling. She hates when Red does that, which is why her provocative lover did it in the first place.

 

To be fair, though, she only hates it outside of sex. During sex, it can have quite the opposite effect so long the blows are applied sparingly and with the correct amount of force. Thankfully Red seems to have an instinctual knack for knowing when a good spanking will plummet Regina over the edge of rationality into rapturous completion.

 

“Don't even,” is Red's verbal response to Regina’s low growl, now looking thoroughly put out. “You deserved that. Why do you have be so mean to me? I ran ten leagues just to be with you and this is the thanks I get?”

 

Heaving a sigh, Regina reaches back to soothe her aching rear. The flesh is already warm and probably a vibrant shade of red about now. “I'm sorry my little pup,” she repents in an exaggerated tone meant to mollify. “Would another kiss make it all better?”

 

Giving Regina a stern glare, Red drawls, “Maybe. Depends. You never did tell me why exactly you want me to run away with you.”

 

“Yes, I did,” Regina argues.

 

“However wonderful it is to hear, 'I love you' is not a reason to run away from our problems, Regina,” Red counters, making too much sense. “Per your own admission you've loved me for months, so there must be something else driving this decision.”

 

 _Always the intuitive girl_ , Regina thinks, proud of her lover’s acumen. Out loud, she explains, “My love for you is my primary motivation, Red, no matter how inadequate a reason it may seem. Because I love you I want to spend my life with you, but we both know that can't happen here with the Queen hovering over us like an infinitely dark and perpetual cloud. If we're to be together as I desire and you deserve, we must journey elsewhere.”

 

Red nibbles at her lip for a moment, running her long fingers through the hair at Regina's temple. “And where might that be?”

 

Settling herself back down atop Red's body as she was before, Regina answers, “Not long after I incurred the Queen's wrath, I wrote to my cousin in my father's kingdom seeking asylum for myself and my father. He had just recently ascended to the throne and was not alive during the time my mother tried to usurp my Grandfather and my family was banished. To my great surprise, he offered us both free passage through the border and protection in addition to a promise of restoring our ancestral lands and titles. Unfortunately, the Evil Queen murdered my father before we could flee. After that, I lost all desire to return to his homeland.”

 

As Red takes in the information, her expression grows thoughtful. “What's changed?”

 

“Isn't it obvious, mi querida? You.”

 

“Me?”

 

“Yes, you! Silly girl.” Regina tugs lightly on Red’s earlobe, which prompts a whine that she answers with a grin and a kiss. But then she turns serious once more as she begins to elaborate in depth to a raptly attentive brunette. “In the past seven months, I've come alive again. I fell madly in love with you. You have given me something to live for, something worth forsaking my fight with the Queen, something worth more than my pride. I'm ready to build a real life with you.

 

“Because of that, I sent my cousin another letter two months ago, updating him on my situation, and recently received word back. He gave me his word of honor that we would be welcomed, not only as citizens but as members of court. We won't have to hide our love anymore. We will be accepted, Red, as we are. We can marry there, you can gain a title all your own and be recognized as you deserve to be and I can be free to love you openly. I want all of those things. Don't you?”

 

“Yes!” cries Red emphatically. “I mean, of course I do, I just never imagined it would be possible. Most nobles aren't terribly fond of our kind. I mean, I've seen the Queen execute people for being like us.”

 

Regina's face twists in displeasure at Red’s phrasing. “Our kind...like us? Listen to yourself! That is exactly the kind of derogatory thought we don't have face there.” Sighing, she smooths a hand down Red's cheek. “My cousin is a fair ruler and from every account a good man. We've been carefully corresponding ever since I sent him that first letter, and I've found him to be very progressive. He is not mired in the old, traditional ways of thinking. When I informed him of our love, he wrote that his own son is in a similar relationship and that he had abolished all laws forbidding such couplings from being recognized. You see, there we can just be two people who love each other and want to be together. There, we can just... _b_ e.”

 

“I want that so much, it just...” Red trails off with a sigh. “It sounds too good to be true.”

 

Regina gets the hesitance because even though she trusts her cousin’s word, there is a vast difference between promises written in a letter and them being put into practice within a society. Which is why she’d employed her own means to confirm those promises.

 

“I'm willing to admit that,” she says, “but wouldn't we be cowards if we didn't at least see for ourselves? And don't think I'm just taking his word, I'm far too cynical for that. I have contacts that assure me that I can take his word at face value. But beside all of that, I'm tired of hiding, Red, and I'm tired of fighting. I just want to retire to a quiet life with you, restore my family’s name and lands and work with my cousin to build a kingdom worth living in. So, what do you say? Will you come with me?”

 

“Yes, Regina,” Red breathes, tears in her eyes, “yes, yes, yes!”

 

“Are you sure?” Regina prods, needing for Red to be absolutely certain. “What about the good you do to protect people from the Queen? What about David?”

 

Red peers at Regina in confusion. “I just said yes, and you’re trying to talk me out of it?”

 

“I’m not,” Regina counters, “I just want you to be certain. It would tear me apart if we got there and you came to regret the decision..”

 

Red’s expression softens upon hearing the reason behind Regina’s questions. “I won’t regret it, I promise,” she says with a tender smile. “I talked to David about this last month. You were right. He told me I’d be a fool for passing up any opportunity to be happy.”

 

As Regina returns Red’s smile, a tide of joy washes away what was left of her apprehension. “Well, as long as you’re sure.”

 

“I am,” Red asserts. “I would follow you to the ends of the earth.”

 

“Luckily, we don’t have to go that far.”

 

Red hums, a glint forming in her eyes. “Well,” she drawls, voice husky, “that’s unfortunate, ‘cause I was kinda hoping we could start our journey right now and see how far we get. With the way I’m feeling right now, I think I can take you to another plane of existence entirely.”

 

Although Regina raises an onyx brow, she flushes with arousal that rushes straight to her belly. “Confident are we?” she teases, noting the way Red’s eyes have dilated so that they appear nearly black. She shudders with anticipation.

 

Looking every bit the predator that she is, Red bares her teeth in a sultry yet dangerous smile. “You’re about to find out.” And then she pounces, consuming Regina’s mouth in a fervent kiss as she presses all of her body weight down.

 

The delicious sensation of their flesh contacting over so much surface elicits a noise of satisfaction out of Regina. Red responds by nipping at Regina’s lips with her teeth as she slides her hips to the side and maneuvers her leg atop Regina’s aching core. Eyes rolling back in her head, Regina emits a lewd groan that Red chases with a warm moist mouth down the column of her neck and down to her chest before wantonly clamping upon Regina’s breast. While maintaining eye contact, Red sucks, nibbles, pulls and laves at a hypersensitive nipple, a smug grin on her lips that does not relent until Regina is reduced to squirming beneath her.

 

Over the next hour, Red proves her capability to do just as she’d said, sending Regina into another world time and again. It is a favor Regina is all too happy to return. And only after they have exhausted themselves into a state of overly saturated bliss do they curl up together and fall back asleep.

 

Hours later, Regina wakes to a rumbling in her belly to find Red missing. For a moment she panics until she spots a torn piece of parchment stuck to the wall of her hovel with her favorite knife. Unconcerned with her nudity, she rises from the bed and crosses over to retrieve the note, which simply reads: “Gone to hunt, be back soon.”

 

Fingering the neat, looping letters of Red's surprisingly elegant script, Regina smiles. She feels so elated that she could burst at what the future holds. After Daniel’s death, she had thought herself incapable of love, and then after Robin left her, she’d called herself a fool for ever believing it was possible again. But quite against her better instincts, Red has awakened something once dormant inside her that has now come to full bloom, and she is so swept away by the feeling of being utterly, hopelessly in love that she can think of nothing else but a lifetime sharing laughter and joy and friendship and love with her sweet, beautiful, and altogether amazing werewolf.

 

Unfortunately for Regina that happiness does not last. For Red never returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is not need for much in the way of notes in this one. I wanted to give our girls some happy time before the crap hits the fan and at the same time, needed to work in an objective for them to press toward. Since the show has woefully neglected the kingdom from whence Regina hails, I figured I'd utilize it as a potential haven for her to escape to with Red. I'm kinda bummed in a way that this story worked out the way it did because it would have been cool to actually write about that realm.
> 
> As far as R&R, this plan represents their potential happy ending. Considering the world they are currently in, I think it should be obvious this was a build up to a terrible fall. Still, these events will not lose their importance later on, or at least not all of them. While they certainly happen within the Enchanted Fauxrest and thus are merely a twisted yarn, the memories are real. No one will forget what happens to them in _Heroes & Villains_. In some ways this is wonderful for our girls, but in some ways...well, I don't want to spoil things.
> 
> Anyway, there is some foreshadowing here regarding persons who will be involved in the tragedies to come, but it is pretty subtle. I'm interested to know if anyone figures it out. 
> 
> As a final note, I hope everyone savors this because it is the last chapter that is wholly uplifting. From here on out, it is dark foreboding clouds and seemingly endless sheets of bitterly cold rain. So let me say in advance of tomorrow: I'm so sorry!


	4. Scenes From a Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina finds out what happened to Red. ATTENTION! To those who have been victims of sexual trauma or who cannot endure reading about it, turn away now. Please, please, please heed this warning for your own sake.

* * *

“ _If you don’t deal with your demons, they will deal with you, and it’s gonna hurt._ ” - Nikki Sixx

* * *

 

 **Chapter 3** – Scenes From a Mirror

 

Two desolate days pass by during which Regina scours Sherwood forest and portions of Misthaven for any sign of her missing lover. As those days turn into a week, she begins to fret at the possibility that her proposition they abscond to another realm together had – after careful consideration outside the heat of the moment – driven Red away. But at night as she replays that conversation in her mind, she convinces herself how unlikely that is.

 

Red is not a deceptive person by nature. In fact, the only time Red seems capable of lying is when she is maintaining appearances inside the Dark Palace. Unlike the Queen and her cronies, however, Regina can easily discern untruths in Red, which makes her question both the intelligence and the perception of her mortal enemy (although she concedes the possibility that the Queen simply does not wish to see what is right in front of her).

 

More than once Regina has ferreted out an untruth from her younger lover with little more than a well-timed question. Extracting confessions from Red requires minimal effort compared to what is required with more practiced deceivers, such as the nasty brigands she often interrogates for information about what nobles will be trekking down the Queen's road on any given week.

 

In retrospect, she had witnessed no hint of deception in Red’s enthusiastic agreement to abscond. The only emotions Red had displayed were awe and wonder and a radiant happiness that is virtually impossible to fake. As sure, then, as Regina is that sun rises in the east, she knows that Red was genuine in her desire to start a new life together. Thus, with cold feet ruled out as the motive, Regina can think of only three possible reasons for Red’s disappearance.

 

One is that Red was unexpectedly sent on a mission. Oftentimes she is forced to play bodyguard for the Queen when the monarch travels abroad, while at other times she is required to make random inspections of the garrisons that dot the realm due to her ability to travel long distances with astonishing speed and then reconnoiter the target without being detected. “The wolf has its advantages,” Red would say. And then there are the hunts, which Red despises but acquiesces to out of a need to maintain her cover. She helps those she can to escape, but sometimes she has to sacrifice her morals to remain unsuspected of treason.

 

“I mostly do that by letting Snow have the bad ones,” she’d told Regina, full of self-recrimination as they discussed the hunts one night. “I tell myself that they deserve it, that it’s not my fault they’re criminals and murderers and rapists and thieves. But that never helps much at night when I can’t sleep for hearing their screams.”

 

Regina’s attempts at comforting Red, while accepted, did not assuage the guilt she felt, so Regina prays that Red’s absence is not due to one of these hunts. Yet, it is the least worrisome of all options.

 

Another, and decidedly worse, possibility is that Red is hurt or worse, and physically unable to make the journey. Regina refuses to entertain the latter for any length of time. As irrational as it is, she believes she would know if her lover was dead, that she would sense it in her heart in spite of the distance between them.

 

However, upon contemplating the idea that anyone has managed to wound Red so severely as to render her unable to travel, Regina finds it unlikely to the point of absurdity. Being that Red is a werewolf, she is unnaturally strong even on two legs, but as the wolf she is capable of dispatching an entire company of the Queen's Black Guard on her own. And were Red simply hurt, she would have found a way to make contact by now if not returned outright – albeit limping or bleeding but alive.

 

Having excluded all other scenarios, only one option remains, and it is the one Regina has most feared since the moment she succumbed to temptation: the Queen has discovered the truth. With a heaviness in the pit of her stomach, Regina realizes it is the most plausible explanation for Red’s disappearance.

 

And yet if it were so, why has she not heard about it? News travels slowly in the Enchanted Forest, but when momentous events occur such as the ferreting out of a traitor among the Queen's most trusted confidantes, it tends to spread from village to village in a matter of days much like wildfire through a parched forest. Had Red been caught, her betrayal should have been widely publicized, and even if news has not yet reached Sherwood, Regina has other means of gathering information at her disposal that would have informed her of such a development.

 

Since becoming a bandit, she has established a network of informers that she keeps well paid with excess funds from her thefts. None of them have reached out to her and each operates under specific instructions to watch for any mention of the Queen's werewolf. She has heard nothing from any of her sources, leading her to believe that there is no news to report.

 

Uncertain of Red’s fate as she is, Regina struggles to contain her anxiety. Over the course of a sleepless night, she wrestles with what to do. Some way or another, she has to find out where Red is and what is happening to her, for rest will be impossible until she has answers.

 

The next morning she decides on a whim to check their monthly meeting place, so she gathers her travel supplies, including her sword, her bow and a quiver full of arrows, and then sets out at first light. Having set a fairly punishing pace, within an hour she has reached the border where she meets Red each Wolf's Time.

 

Upon arrival, she sets about searching the area for any signs of recent activity, only to be disappointed when she finds nothing amiss. Out of a need for thoroughness that has always characterized her, she repeats the search twice more to no avail. In despair, she plops down heavily upon the fallen log where she often waits and peers out forlornly over the eerily silent clearing.

 

“Where are you, Red?” she speaks into the crisp morning air, hoping against hope for some kind of magical response. When it doesn’t come, she clamps her eyes shut against the onset of tears.

 

But then she hears the crackling of magic, and her eyes snap open to sweep out over the meadow. When they settle upon the glinting of a glass object next to an enormous forked pine, her heart gives a lurch. Launching up from her seat, she scurries over to the tree and roughly drops to her knees. There at the base lies a mirror of ornate design, silver filigree snowdrops etched into the frame. Dread settles into her stomach. The mirror, she knows, can only belong to one person.

 

Heart thudding painfully in her chest, Regina grasps the mirror with her gloved hands and lifts it to the level of her eyes. Upon gazing at her own reflection, she hardly recognizes herself. The woman she sees is no longer beautiful to behold, but seems to have aged in a matter of days. Her complexion, once olive, is not wan and pale, and dark bags are present under both of her eyes due to many sleepless nights fretting herself sick.

 

“Looking a little worse for the wear there, my dear,” a voice echoes through the mirror, startling Regina.

 

She stumbles back, dropping the mirror as she scrambles for purchase to keep herself from landing on her ass. It falls to the ground face up as if willed to. As the mirror lies upon the grass, the polished glass surface begins to swirl with magic, and in seconds the Queen herself is revealed. Resplendent in a high collared black dress trimmed with ornate silver thread, a pompous grin is plastered across her face.

 

“Well, hello there, Regina,” she greets, heavy makeup lending a sinister edge to her carefully applied veneer. “Nice to see you again after so very long. However are you doing?”

 

“What have you done, Snow?” Regina demands, scrambling forward to retrieve the mirror. She grasps it with tremblings fingers and holds it up to her face once more. Though she cannot see her own reflection now, she knows her expression is betraying how terrified she is. And while giving the Queen a glimpse into her emotional state is a colossal mistake, concern for Red has overridden any sensibility. “Where is she?” she demands, ignoring the Queen’s smug demeanor. “Where is Red?”

 

“Oh, I think you know.” The Queen's response is deliberately obtuse in order to provoke Regina, though her toying does not last long. After a brief moment of savoring Regina’s desperation, she turns away and crosses over to the door on the opposite side of the room. Upon reaching it, she raps upon it once with the back of her hand and then yells out, “Bring her.” As she returns, she makes a show of strutting in a taunting manner, head held high and hips swaying. She does not speak again until her visage has filled most of the frame.

 

“You know,” she then says, finger tapping her chin thoughtfully, “when I learned Red was lying to me, I just couldn't believe it. My oldest friend. The only person who has yet to betray me in some way. I’d thought her loyalty unquestionable. So just imagine my shock when a trusted knight reported that she has been skulking about at odd times and no longer visits her old haunts during Wolf’s Time. To be sure of her infidelity, I had her followed, and lo and behold, the accusations proved true! It seems betrayal is a commonality among all of my acquaintances, which in a way is a reassurance. I am no longer required to live under the pretense that there are any strings of affection to which I am attached.”

 

“How did you track her?” Regina inquires, failing to see how it is even possible. “No one can track Red when she doesn’t want to be found. Not even me.”

 

The Queen laughs, a terrible sound that is a mockery of the warm melody Regina remembers from long ago when a young princess was happy and carefree, back when that innocent girl was someone Regina adored. But that Snow is long gone, having been replaced by the Evil Queen, an insane woman whose iron rule over the Enchanted Forest has plunged the kingdom into darkness.

 

“Oh, Regina!” she answers after her mirth ends. “Have you so swiftly forgotten about my friends who are not limited by terrain.”

 

“Ravens,” Regina supplies, castigating herself for not anticipating their use. She should have known, should have been more alert when Red was visiting. If she had, she might have spotted the spy lurking unseen in the shadowy canopy of Sherwood Forest as it witnessed Red's acts of treason to report back to its mistress. If only she’d paid more attention, none of this would be happening.

 

“Indeed,” Snow confirms. “Even with their report, it was hard to believe. I had to find out on my own, so I assumed their shape and reconnoitered in person. I witnessed it with my very own eyes. I watched Red sully herself by running willingly into your arms.” At that, the Queen's expression shifts into something meaner, something malefic. “You stole her away from me, Regina. Was being responsible for the death of my True Love not enough for you?”

 

“But I didn't steal her, Snow,” Regina replies with beseeching eyes, hoping beyond hope to reach some sliver of a remnant of the girl the Queen used to be. “She saved my life, nursed me back to health. I didn't seek her out.”

 

Making a noise of triumph, Evil Snow claps her hands, looking beyond delighted. “As I thought,” she trills, not to Regina but to someone else who has entered the room to her rear. “You see, she doesn't really love you. At the first opportunity, she put all the blame onto you just like I said she would.”

 

With that, the Queen deliberately shifts to reveal Red standing behind her, bound hand and foot in chains. Her clothes are tattered and her face bruised and filthy, but her eyes are clear as they radiate a profound hurt that reaches far beyond the surface. Regina instantly realizes that she has just been manipulated into hurting the only person left in the world she truly loves.

 

“That's not what I was saying at all!” she objects, willing her lover to believe her. “Red, you know that I love you! I wasn't blaming you at all.”

 

“Then what were you doing?” the Queen queries on Red’s behalf, stepping next to her prisoner to run a tender hand over a wild, unkempt mane. Out of reflex, Red flinches back, which angers Snow enough that she snatches a handful of hair and yanks Red back with it, holding her forcefully in place. Red's eyes swim with unshed tears, probably from a combination of physical and emotional pain.

 

“I was trying to explain to you that I couldn’t have stolen her away from you,” Regina explains. “I can't steal what never belonged to you in the first place.”

 

That, Regina finds out, was the wrong thing to say. To her dismay, Snow growls and wrenches Red’s head by the hair so violently that Regina legitimately fears her lover’s neck might break.

 

“How dare you!” the Queen explodes, ignoring Red’s groans of protestation. “She is mine! She always has been and always will be.”

 

At that maddened declaration, Red finally recovers enough from her misery to grit out a reply. “No, I'm not.” Although her voice is strained, her eyes blaze with indignation. “Regina is right. I was never yours. What we had was an innocent and sweet friendship. You loved James. Remember?”

 

“Don't you dare speak his name!” the Queen sneers, wild-eyed and clearly teetering on the edge of violence. Without warning she slaps Red so forcefully that she falls to the floor upon her side. Over Regina’s shouts, the Queen growls, “and as for you, you should learn to mind your own business. What I do with my pet is my own concern.”

 

“She's not your pet, Snow,” Regina insists, her love for Red making her bold. “She's a proud and honorable werewolf who is meant to be free. She belongs to no one save the person she has chosen to share her life with.”

 

The Queen places defiant hands on her hips and gives a derisive scoff. “And I suppose that someone is you?”

 

“It is.” Regina states this as fact because to her it is. In the same way Red has given herself to Regina, so also Regina has given herself to Red. Their belonging is reciprocal.

 

Seeming to consider the statement for a moment, Regina half-expects Snow to burst out into a tirade of epic proportions. But instead, she cocks a hip out, lips quirking into a devilish smile.

 

“Well, then,” she practically purrs, “that should make my offer all the more appealing.”

 

Rather than intrigue, Regina experiences only alarm. Offers from the Queen are rarely advantageous to anyone save herself, having learned the art of deal making from her master, the Dark One Rumplestiltskin. But with both herself and Red in such a delicate position she has little choice but to entertain it.

 

“What offer is that?”

 

Turning from the mirror, the Queen circles Red once more, inspecting the prisoner like a slab of meat as a third individual – a man in finery fit for a prince – enters the frame. Regina recognizes him as the one Snow refers to as Prince Charming, the twin brother of the deceased Prince James, the Queen’s True Love. Charming obediently assumes his place behind Red without comment and then folds his hands in front of him. Yet, as he warily studies the scene before him his features stretch into a perturbed grimace.

 

With Charming now in place, Snow snatches another handful of Red's hair and violently wrenches her head up. A small trickle of blood drips from the corner of her lips where she'd been struck. Regina's blood boils at the sight, but she remains silent out of fear of further provoking the Queen, who catches Regina’s eyes.

 

“I'm sure Red has told you of the way I... _correct_ my pets by process of 'adjustment',” she says, and the word elicits an immediate response.

 

While Charming stiffens uncomfortably, Red gasps and tries to seek Snow’s attention. Her struggle is fruitless and met with yet another cruel yank of her hair. She winces, returning horrified green eyes to Regina. The fear rolling off of her in waves is somehow able to transmit through the mirror where it proceeds to infiltrate into the deepest recesses of Regina's heart.

 

Seeing Red so distraught is incredibly disconcerting, but Regina is more rattled by the mention of the Queen’s so-called process of ‘adjustment’. Red has, indeed, informed her of how the Queen prefers to correct her wayward subjects, and the word in this case is a blithe euphemism for sanctioned rape. Regina can remember telling Red that she’d thought the practice as perverse as it was deplorable, and that it served as evidence of how sick an individual the Queen was.

 

Suddenly, though, the threat of it is real and present, and the very possibility of this awful indignity being visited upon Red lingers like a pall in the air, robbing Regina of what little remains of her bravado.

 

“Snow...please,” she begs, pride abandoned due to desperation. “Don’t do this. _Please_.”

 

Giggling as if amused, Snow releases Red's hair and places a hand on her waist. The other hand she twirls around as she summons her dark magic, and before Regina can even blink, two sockets appear on the floor to which the chains binding Red's hands and feet are magically welded. A snap of the Queen’s fingers has Red jerking forward to her hands and knees. Regina gasps aloud, her hands clenching the mirror until her knuckles grow white and her fingertips scream from the pressure she is exerting upon the metal bindings.

 

“I can see that you have been informed. Very good,” the Queen then chirps, that diabolical edge back in her voice. Her eyes burn with twisted hatred as she maneuvers herself to stand at Red's hips. Behind Red, Charming coils up even more tightly, clearly fighting against the control the Queen wields over him to force his obedience. “In that case,” Snow continues, “I'll be succinct. Turn yourself in by the end of the day after next. If you do so, I will not properly _adjust_ Red. If you don't, I swear to you by my mother’s grave that she will be made to suffer as no other ever has.”

 

Unbidden, memories return to Regina of her conversation with Red not one week ago, of her promise to sacrifice herself were the Queen to ever learn of their affair. Now, she is stuck living through a scenario she couldn’t have imagined even in her most harrowing nightmares. If she turns herself in, she will no doubt be tortured prodigiously before her death, likely in a much more gruesome manner than whatever the Queen has in store for Red. But at the same time, she very much believes Snow’s threats to be sincere. If she fails to surrender, Red will no doubt suffer in her place through abuses no woman should ever have to endure.

 

While Regina harbors no desire to meet an early death and does not wish to endure being tortured to death, she has no alternatives from which to choose. _Better me than Red_ , she thinks.

 

“Alright,” she whispers, head bowing in defeat.

 

“What was that?” Snow asks, not that she hadn’t heard so much as she feels compelled to rub Regina’s face in her defeat.

 

“I said alright!” Regina restates, barking out her words wretchedly. “You win. I will turn myself in. You have my word.”

 

The Queen crows with delight around a burst of excited applause. “Excellent! In that case, you have spared your lover much pain. However, I can't just let this treachery go unpunished, nor can I trust your word. You have lied to me before, after all. With that in mind, I believe you’ll require... _extra_ motivation.”

 

At that, the Queen snaps her fingers for a second time. At her command, Charming steps closer to Red, positioning himself directly behind her. The abhorrent nature and inescapability of what is about to occur slams into Regina full-force, literally knocking the air out of her lungs.

 

“Snow, please!” Red begins frantically pleading, her tears spilling freely now as Regina heaves for breath. “I'm your friend! Don’t do this! I beg of you!”

 

“You were my friend...once upon a time,” the Queen responds as she reaches out place her hand at the small of Red's back. The touch is incongruous in its gentility considering the savagery she is about to order be committed upon a helpless and objectively innocent woman. “Sadly, you are now my enemy, and not of my choice. This is your own doing. Remember that.” Snow then straightens suddenly, her hand lifting from Red’s back as she steps a pace away. When she speaks again it is in the imperious and cold tone of the Evil Queen. “Red, as your Queen I have found you guilty of treason, and though it pains me greatly, you must be punished. Your sentence will be carried out here and now, and don't even think about shifting to escape these manacles. They are made of the sturdiest silver in the realms.”

 

“Snow! Stop this madness!” Regina screams, her voice piercing through the night air. “We had a deal! We had a deal, Snow!”

 

Turning back to the mirror, the Queen glowers, which casts baleful shadows across her features. “And we still do for the time being, but your pathetic grovelling is trying my patience.”

 

Placing the mirror on the ground, Regina leans over it, grasping at her hair with her fingers as she watches Red’s futile struggle against her bonds. Blood is now streaming from where her thin wrists are being abused by unforgiving manacles, and it drips upon the pristine stone floors of the castle, staining them crimson.

 

Regina can feel Red’s panic rising exponentially, and it only feeds her own. “Then why are you doing this? You're breaking our accord!”

 

“But I'm not.” The Queen smirks lazily, malice giving way to a perverse enjoyment. Exploitation, it seems, is an enthralling recreation to the Evil Queen. Regina’s hatred roils in her gut. “I only promised to abstain from _properly_ adjusting Red, not that she would not be subjected to it at all. This is her punishment for treason, and it is a lenient one if I’m to be honest. You should be glad I've yet to kill her or promise her to the rest of my Guard. Fifty men is a lot for any woman to withstand, after all, even one as limber and durable as our Little Red Riding Hood here.”

 

Hopelessness and abject despair descend upon Regina in a deluge as she watches Red suddenly go still. Upon their gazes locking, she can see that there is no longer any fear or hysteria or terror upon her lover’s face. Now, Red seems dulled with resignation, lacking any spark of life whatsoever. And as they stare at one another over the medium of Snow’s magic mirror, Regina can feel her slipping away behind the mental barrier of detachment required for her to survive what is coming.

 

“I love you, Red,” Regina cries, burying her face in her hands as her ravaged heart breaks a little bit more. There is nothing else she can think of to say and nothing at all she can do. She is powerless to help and wholly responsible for Red’s predicament, and her shame and guilt press in upon her until they threaten to grind her soul into a million infinitesimally small grains of sand. “I’m so sorry! I’m so, so sorry! Please forgive me!”

 

“Hey,” Red calls out, her voice monotone but commanding. “Don’t do this to yourself. Look at me, Regina!”

 

Regina peers up to see her beloved werewolf smiling gently in encouragement; her pale cheeks are rosy and splotchy from her tears. Ever selfless Red, ready to sacrifice herself upon an altar of responsibility not meant for her.

 

“I love you, too,” Red then says. “And this is not your fault. I don’t blame you even for a second. Okay?”

 

“But you should,” Regina replies brokenly. “If you hadn’t loved me, if you had just let me die that day, none of this would be happening.”

 

“Not a chance,” Red protests. “There is no pain on this earth that could make me regret loving you _or_ saving your life. You are worth it to me.”

 

Snow tuts her interjection, appearing disgusted by the conversation. “Don’t be so sure of that, honey.”

 

Unable to bear the looming atrocity, Regina gives one last effort to reason with the girl she had once thought of as a daughter, even if grudgingly. “Snow, please, I'm begging you. I am _begging_ you! Don't do this to her. I will take her place if you just stop this now. _Please._ Take me instead!”

 

“Regina, no!” At Red's shout, another blow lands across her face from the Queen who has suddenly become enraged.

 

“Enough! I’m fed up with your spinelessness, Regina,” she sneers and then glances back at Charming. “Proceed.” Instead of obeying, Charming takes a step back. It is a brave but stupid move on his part, and the Queen is quick to growl out her immense displeasure. “I said, proceed.” Again, he remains unmoving in refusal. This time the Queen approaches, leaning in so close that their noses nearly brush. Fuming now, she orders through a taut jaw, “For the last time, Charming, I...said...proceed!”

 

“No.” As if finally unafraid after enduring years of abuse, his calmness is almost serene, and his face is a blank slate as he boldly disobeys the most wicked woman to ever terrorize the lands. “Enduring your advances is bad enough, but I won't do this. Not to Red. You'll have to kill me first.”

 

The Queen's anger dissipates as quickly as it had come on. She sighs as if dealing with an unruly child and then snaps her fingers to summon a glowing red heart into her hands. Charming's heart.

 

“Oh, Charming, when will you learn? If I wanted you dead, I'd have disposed of you long ago. Death is too kind an escape for your ilk. I much prefer to stretch out the torment.” Lifting the heart to her lips, she speaks in a smooth voice, “I command you to obey. And Charming? Make it hurt.”

 

Though he struggles heroically against the magic compelling him to act, the effort is useless. With Snow in possession of his heart, he has no choice but to submit.

 

The revulsion upon his face speaks to his true feelings, but still Charming retakes his place behind Red, whose stoicism vanishes upon the dawning of the worse moment in her life. She pulls and jerks viciously at her chains in a vain attempt to escape, but they do not yield. The only result of her wild thrashing is the production of a series of jagged cuts along her forms and wrists from which a steady flow of blood pours.

 

“Now, now, Red,” the Queen purrs, “you'll have to be still for this to work.” With a twirl of her finger, her powerful magic produces a series of chords of deepest purple, and they wind themselves around Red’s torso before constricting to freeze her in place. Rendered utterly incapable of resisting, Red displays only unrestrained terror as she begins to tremble from head to toe.

 

Unable to stomach what is about to happen, Regina averts her eyes from the mirror and clenches them shut.

 

“You will watch, Regina!” Snow’s booming voice cuts through the oppressive emptiness of the clearing. “You will witness every moment of this or our deal is void.”

 

Turning back to the mirror with her heart beating as if set to rip through her chest, Regina opens her eyes just in time to watch Charming unfasten his pants, raise Red's skirt, and then tear her undergarments aside. Red is now openly sobbing, and the sound of her unspeakable misery pierces Regina clean through. A mere breath later Charming moves to enter her, and to the backdrop of Red’s cries of protest, Snow laughs at the top of her lungs.

 

With one harsh movement from Charming's hips, Regina's worst nightmare begins. A strangled scream is torn from Red's throat as her eyes clench shut against the horrible indignity of being so brutally and unwillingly invaded. Her face twists in pain as Charming then fists a hands in her hair and pulls her backward to the point Regina fears her spine might snap. Time slows to a crawl as Regina watches the puppet Prince roughly thrust forward once more before beginning to move in earnest.

 

The wretched sounds of Charming’s grunting, Snow’s deranged laughter, and Red’s stomach-turning mixture of sobs, fruitless screams, and cries of agonized protest score the hellish symphony to a nightmare from which Regina cannot escape. Agonizing minutes pass before the ordeal is mercifully signaled over by Charming’s cry of release. He slumps over Red's back, spent, and promptly begins to shudder out his own tears.

 

After a stern look from the Queen, the unwilling pawn quietens and then straightens himself up. As he refastens his breeches, an expression of torturous self-revulsion etches upon his face.

 

The sickness swirling a thousand miles per hour within Regina’s stomach intensifies upon realizing she has just witnessed the violation of not one but two people by a woman who had once been of purest heart and intent. The depths to which Snow has sunk seem unfathomable, yet the evidence irrefutable, and it crushes Regina to know she is the cause.

 

A snap of Snow’s fingers releases Red from the magical bonds, and now freed the hysterical werewolf collapses to the ground in a heap. She curls into herself as she howls out her anguish, and the sound lodges into Regina’s brain so that she knows she will remember it for long as she lives. Meanwhile the Queen does nothing but stare with an obscene smile until Red has cried herself into unconsciousness.

 

Beset by a rage she has not felt in years, Regina directs a withering lance of utter abhorrence toward the Queen.

 

“I _hate_ you.”

 

Snow grins ominously. “Believe me, dear, the feeling is mutual. But let this serve as both a lesson and a warning. Do not defy me. You have two days from the rising of the sun on the morrow to surrender. If you've not done so by then, things will get much worse for your precious little puppy. Much worse.”

 

And with that, the image in the mirror vanishes, leaving only smooth glass reflecting a twisted visage Regina barely recognizes as herself. Her grief is incomprehensible. Ravaged by a punishing sense of failure, she grabs the nearest rock and then proceeds to smash the mirror to pieces as she rages maniacally into the night. Once the offending item has been thoroughly destroyed, she tilts her head upward to the sky. The moon is hanging low overhead, nearly three-quarters now.

 

Thoughts of Red pierce through her consciousness as she stares at the pale celestial body above. Her beloved werewolf. With memories of the love they have shared blending into those of the horror she has just witnessed, Regina’s fury and despondence escalate until the rampaging emotions are impossible to contain. In the cold, lonely, and quiet forest, she empties herself through a series of piercing, banshee-like screams that do not cease until her voice has ceased to function.

 

Although her voice is spent, her misery continues to pour out in great waves that shake her entire body. For the first time since her forced marriage, she allows herself the luxury of breaking without maintaining a single thread of restraint. In her irrational state, she prays for a chance to turn back time if only to commit suicide before Red saved her life that day in the woods, but her prayers go unanswered, just as they almost always do.

 

And as her tears fall unabated, the night appears to grow darker and more oppressive, as if a wall is closing in on her from all sides. Suffocation seems inescapable. Nearly hysterical, Regina works herself upright to pace the tiny clearing, pulling at her hair until her roots ache from the unrelenting pressure. Hours pass before she exhausts herself enough to pass out upon the forest floor.

 

The slumber is fitful at best. She awakens half a dozen times in a cold sweat from some shadowy nightmare whose secret torments her brain refuses to divulge. Only once does she recall the awfully vivid scene conjured by her unconscious mind, for in it she had stood in Charming’s place.

 

After vomiting up what little she’d forced down earlier in the day, she scrounges up enough energy to stumble her way back to her home. The short journey back is a blur of staggered movements and shuddering hiccups, but she somehow makes it without losing her way.

 

Upon arriving she fumbles inside as if drunk and then collapses in a pathetic heap upon her tiny mat. The stress of having watched Red suffer crashes down upon her, settles upon her shoulders with a weight that makes her joints and muscles seem leaden. Unfortunately, her brain remains clear in its recollection of the nights events. She is hesitant to even give name to what has happened for fear it will become real.

 

But it is real, and she knows it. There is no denying or escaping the fact that Red has been raped simply because she dared to commit the unpardonable sin of loving Regina.

 

That terrible word, that awful, horrible word, chokes Regina of her breath and reignites the roiling sickness that has taken up residence in her stomach. For what seems like hours she alternates between crying and retching, and only dimly recognizes her inability to cope with a reality that is far too grotesque with which to reconcile herself.

 

She is both confused and angry that something so obscene could happen to someone so undeserving. Red is as perfect a human being as Regina has ever known, having against all odds remained unblemished by the ugliness she’s lived through day in and day out as a resident of the Dark Palace. That innocence, however, has been all but obliterated. Snow, in her madness, has seen to it that Red’s purity is forever tarnished.

 

And yet Regina also remains cognizant through the fog of her enraged grief that if she does not meet the Queen's demands, what is left of Red will systematically be stripped away until nothing remains but an empty husk. Death awaits Regina at the end of one choice and insanity at the other.

 

The choice looming monstrously before her and the torturous thought of Red being so utterly diminished robs Regina of her ability to rest, so she fetches a vial she’d traded for some time back containing a tonic which will knock her out cold. She swallows it whole, allowing the soured tang to ground her senses. The potion works quickly. Within minutes, her lids grow heavy.

 

The last thought that crosses her conscious mind is of green eyes cast over a bowed shoulder, fraught with pain that cannot be expressed. Red’s lips don’t move, but Regina hears her accusations all the same. “ _Why, Reg_ _ina_ _?_ _Why are you doing this to me? Why? Why? Why? Why..._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, before I go any further, let me just state that I already hate myself for putting Ruby through that. But as awful as it was, it was done for a purpose. I'm not going to belabor this note with unnecessary details, but I think it's important to state why this route was chosen.
> 
> Firstly, sexual exploitation is, at least from my perspective, a core character aspect of the Evil Queen. In the Enchanted Fauxrest, Snow is meant to reflect the hideous person Regina was, and we all know what Regina did to Graham. Which leads to my second purpose, which is that heinous crime has never been addressed. Unlike Snow, Regina did not use a proxy, but rather victimized Graham herself, and that is something she has never dealt with according to my memory (though it may be faulty, correct me if I'm wrong). 
> 
> In helping Regina to finally admit to what she did, I did not want to make her a victim in the process. And (again from my perspective), she is the kind of person who would vastly prefer to suffer herself than to watch someone she loves suffer. I felt like the only way to make her face what she did to Graham was to watch someone she loved endure the violation rather than being subjected to it herself. And in emphasizing that, she has the vivid dream where she takes Charming's place, which is a subconscious manifestation of her guilt over Graham. 
> 
> Now, lastly, please remember that the events at this point are happening in Heller's book, so they are not real per se, but the memories of them will be. There will be consequences for everyone, especially for Regina because she is the primary focus, but the actual physical abuse will be erased when the story is rewritten by Henry.
> 
> That said, I know this was hard to read, but Graham's suffering at Regina's hand being pretty much dismissed out of hand is something I've felt the need to address for a while. If you are reading this note because you finished the chapter, thank you, even if you decide to abandon reading after this or need to berate me in the comments.
> 
> As for tomorrow's chapter, while it won't be happy, it won't be grim either. I promise.


	5. A Journey Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina's journey to save Red begins. Along the way she encounters an unexpected interruption.

* * *

 " _Well how long have I / Been sitting here, I must have drifted off_ " - "Permission" by Sixx A.M. **  
**

* * *

 

 **Chapter 4 –** A Journey Interrupted

 

Regina rises before the sun has even crested the horizon. Last night’s tonic had done little to aid in her rest; she slept only two hours.

 

Breakfast that morning consists of a handful nuts and berries Red gathered a month before. Regina has to force them down over the unrelenting nausea. But she willfully perseveres through every bite and swallow, knowing she needs her energy if she is to reach the Dark Palace before the deadline expires.

 

Having managed to eat a respectable if not healthy meal, she wastes no time in throwing on her travel clothing. She dons her pack after dressing, and then retrieves her weapons. Within minutes, she is ready to depart.

 

While lack of sleep poses a significant problem considering the treacherous route she must take, the time for caution has long since passed. Those horrific scenes she had witnessed in the mirror, seared into her conscious mind with imperishable flames, torment her waking hours even more than her nightmares. And although she is unlikely to ever fully recover from what she’d witnessed, the revulsion and hatred she feels serve as fuel for motivation.

 

Being consumed with a singular determination concerning her pending journey spares little time for her to indulge any delays. If she is going to make the deadline, torturing herself with memories of what happened to Red, along with what might be happening again right now, is counterproductive. For Red’s sake, she must be focused on her objective and on alert at all times.

 

Steeling herself, she exits her tiny hovel and moves several yards away before turning back to study it one last time. She knows that there will be no returning.

 

The moment is poignantly bittersweet. There have been so many memories made in this place – too many for such a tiny space to hold, really. Within the cramped confines of that little shanty, an inexperienced exile had learned how to survive, how to mend her own clothing, how to fletch arrows, and how to make detailed and intricate plans for her thefts that had not once failed her. In that one room shack no bigger than a small wagon, she had learned how to be her own person, how to make her own way in the world without need for a man or a parent or a title to undergird her. In that little shanty built by her own hands, Regina the helpless and unwanted orphan became Regina the woman: self-sufficient and comfortable in her own skin.

 

But even though those memories are precious and accompanied by many more such fond recollections, none of them are more valuable than those of her time with Red. It is the love they made and shared together within those barren walls that elevated Regina from a person content to exist to a person inspired to persist. Red has made her want to live again, has reopened her heart so that she feels down to her marrow after years of wandering around numb and disconnected from the world. Now, thanks to Red, she has someone to fight for who deserves the best she has to offer.

 

In contemplating these things, Regina realizes the shack she’d built is not her home anymore. Red is home now, and there is nothing Regina will not do to get her back.

 

Focused and set on her path, she reaches down to retrieve an arrow she had prepared long ago for such an occasion by wrapping the head up with straw and binding that tightly with a string. She coats the small bundle at the end of the arrow with what remains of her oil, then retrieves her flint stones. After gently propping the front quarter of the arrow upon a rock, she crouches down and strikes the flints together until a spark catches upon the oiled and straw-wrapped head, causing it to burst into flames immediately. Regina stands after replacing the flints in her pouch and then carefully nocks the arrow.

 

With one last look at her sanctuary for the past three years, she looses the arrow and watches dispassionately as it buries itself within the thatching of the roof. It doesn’t take long for the tiny flame to catch into a full blown fire. Her work done, she spins in place and starts off into the woods. She does not look back even once. This part of her life is now over.

 

With a pale gray smoke billowing up into the forest canopy, Regina shifts into a jog and departs for Misthaven. She will never set foot in Sherwood Forest again.

 

* * *

 

It is still early in the morning when Regina finally emerges from Sherwood near the border into Misthaven. She does not bother to decipher which milestone she is near before beginning her trek though the Queen's Forest, and she does not pause until she comes to a lesser traveled route that runs parallel to the Queen's Road.

 

Like the main thoroughfare, this smaller dirt artery (which is about the width of two horses shoulder-to-shoulder) spans the distance between Sherwood and the Dark Palace. Prior to reaching its termination point, it makes one slight detour along the coast where it bisects the town of New Providence before turning back inland and terminating in the villages surrounding the Dark Palace. Since it is a relatively obscure route, it provides security without sacrificing too much speed, which is important since Regina is still an outlaw. As it is, she is already on a tight schedule and cannot afford to risk being detained or delayed in any way if she is to reach the Dark Palace by sundown two days hence.

 

Now on her chosen path, she follows it for nearly two hours without bothering to take a rest. There is a tiny hamlet just ahead that she knows will afford her an opportunity to sit for a spell before setting off again, so she presses on at a steady pace toward that objective. But when she feels she is falling behind, she speeds up to a respectable jog to make it up, all the while thanking Red for the incessant encouragement to increase her physical fitness.

 

One of the side benefits of loving a werewolf is enjoying their impressive stamina. Regina has yet to complain over being subjected to Red’s bountiful energy between the sheets, but she soon discovered that Red was only really ever still when she slept. Red was always at something, always busying herself with tasks that really could wait, and she was especially fond of long morning runs to stretch out those long legs of hers. Regina found Red’s penchant for exercise amusing up until her young lover started to focus some of that antsy attention upon Regina's general welfare, including her state of physical preparedness.

 

Not two months after they became intimate, Red took it upon herself to improve Regina’s running distance, speed, and efficiency.

 

“ _I’m by_ _no means_ _criticizing_ _the shape_ _you’re in_ ,” she had said, eyeing Regina’s nakedness with bald appreciation. “ _I mean, it’s well known there are_ _few who_ _can_ _keep up with_ _you in_ _the thick of the forest or equal_ _your_ _skill in a_ _fair_ _fight._ _The thing is, you can’t_ _always count on_ _people fighting fair – I know Snow won’t. And besides that, the_ _advantages_ _this very f_ _amiliar environment provide_ _s_ _won’t always be available_ _._ _I don’t want you to get c_ _aught out in the open_ _and be un_ _able to_ _out_ _distance_ _your enemy. So, take it from someone who’s done a lot of running in her life: it’s not the short bursts of speed that will save your hide on open ground, but being able to maintain pace_ _over distance_ _._ _And that is something I can help you with._ ”

 

Despite Regina's frequent and prolonged protestations, she allowed herself to be pulled out of her warm cocoon of blankets and Red’s body to go for a run. At first it was agony to try and keep up with Red. The girl seemed to have limitless stores of energy from which to draw and could run at full speed at least twice as long as any normal human, even when on two legs. But over time, Regina began to improve to the point where she could at least stay within visual range of Red most of the time. Of course, she never doubted that Red took it easy on her, but she was pleased nonetheless at her progress. And in time, she grew to enjoy the activity enough to make it a morning routine even when Red was not around.

 

After about twenty minutes of solid loping that she could not have maintained a year ago, Regina arrives at the little forest hamlet. She slows as she nears due to a great racket emanating from somewhere in the center of the village. The sound of a young man shouting for help soon joins the ruckus, spurring Regina into action.

 

Quickly drawing her bow, she readies an arrow and proceeds carefully into town. As she creeps slowly but steadily around a series of cabins that are likely to be occupied, she is careful to keep her steps light to prevent attracting unwanted attention. Keeping this up until she is close to the tiny square at the center of town is not difficult due to her many years of banditry. To Regina, stealth has become second nature.

 

Upon maneuvering to a location with an unobstructed view of the square, she spots the source of the alarm. Shackled to an overturned cart is a boy of no more than 14 years, looking terrified and completely out of place as he calls for help. Before she can come to his aid, a movement from the left catches her attention, and Regina soon understands the boy’s fear. There is an enormous and ravenous looking ogre advancing on his location, teeth bared and club at the ready.

 

Breathing a sigh of frustration, Regina curses her luck. She'd taken this path to avoid delays and here she is being confronted with not just a delay but a monstrous one at that. Still, she cannot very well abandon this lad to his fate. If she did that, she would be no better than the soulless bastard who left such a young boy at the mercy this ogre. More than that, though, she thinks of Red, who would not hesitate to help if she were in this situation, no matter how rushed for time she felt.

 

Her decision made, Regina begins advancing again, and she manages to tiptoe around the one room huts that line the inner circle of the hamlet until arriving at an angle that affords her an excellent shot. Drawing her bow up, she pulls the arrow-loaded string taut and then stills her breath. She waits, watching with eagle eyes for an opening. None is presented to her until the ogre is nearly upon the boy. Seeing its prey helpless, the dumb but powerful creature grows excited and bellows a loud exultant roar, it's eyes widening in anticipation. It is the moment Regina was waiting for.

 

She looses the string, setting the arrow into flight, and as her shots always do, it flies tried and true. When it strikes, it lodges directly in the eye of the ogre, piercing into its pathetically small brain. The beast stiffens instantly, gives out a wet gurgle and a grunt, and then drops to the ground dead.

 

Startled by the unexpected development, the boy turns toward the source of the arrow. The second Regina reveals herself, his eyes widen with joy.

 

“Mom!” he shouts, and she reels back in utter confusion.

 

“I believe you have me mistaken for someone else, young man,” she replies, renewing her forward momentum. After reaching the cart, she makes quick work of unshackling the boy from his bonds by picking the lock – a trick she'd learned from Robin Hood before they parted ways. Since abandoning her at the altar to run away with her sister, Regina didn't much like thinking about her former flame, but she was at least grateful for the lessons on lock-picking he had so kindly given her. Aside from this instance, they have come in handy many a time.

 

Once the boy is freed, he rubs at his wrists as if they pain him, but his eager grin remains firmly in place. “Thanks.”

 

“You're welcome.” Nodding once, Regina kneels down beside the ogre to retrieve her arrow, and then cleans it of gore upon a scrap of cloth she’d snatched from a nail upon a nearby lintel. The boy watches her every move intently.

 

“So, I know you won't believe me,” he then says as he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his strange looking breeches, “but I didn't make a mistake. You really are my mom, you just don't remember.”

 

Regina raises a brow at this assertion. She, of course, doesn’t believe him, but she humors him out of pity.

 

“Is that so? How inconvenient.”

 

With that, she turns away from him, intent on resuming her trek along the path leading away from the village. The hope is that by ignoring him he will lose interest and simply go on his way, wherever that is. But her hopes are dashed when she hears the sound of footsteps following in her wake. Regina groans inaudibly.

 

“I'm telling the truth!”

 

The boy's insistence begins to annoy Regina, but she tamps down on the temptation to be abrasive. She can tell that he is struggling to keep up with her rapid pace despite his nearly being her height, and aside from that, a narrow escape from death is reason enough for her to give him some leeway. Still, she knows that she has to send him away for his own good if not for her own peace of mind.

 

“I'm sure you believe that,” she says after a moment, not bothering to slow down. “I, however, am not so convinced. Now, go on your way young man, for where I'm going you cannot follow.”

 

The boy does not heed her command as he continues down the path behind her. “Too bad,” he huffs. “I need your help to fix this and I'm not leaving until I get it.”

 

Regina stops in her tracks, suddenly overcome by annoyance. She whirls around and steps into her teenager-shaped shadow’s personal space. “Listen, boy...”

 

“Henry,” he supplies.

 

Leaning back as if struck, Regina peers at the strange young man she had just saved. The moment he uttered his name, something tingled in the back of her mind. Aside from him sharing her father’s name, it is almost like there is a memory trying to surface that should be there but was not.

 

“See, on some level, you believe me,” he adds, having picked up on her reaction. “You are my mom whether you want to believe it or not.” When Regina opens her mouth to retort, he interrupts her by blurting out, “I can prove it! I have a book.” After digging around in his pack, he pulls out a leather-bound tome entitled _Heroes & Villains_.

 

Regina scoffs. A trite title if there ever was one. “That's sweet,” she sasses, unable to help herself. “You have a book. Congratulations. I’m sure it’s a real page turner, but as I said, I have somewhere to be, so please excuse me.”

 

Before Regina can turn away once again, Henry grasps at her elbow in an effort to stop her progress. She turns back on him with a withering glare, satisfied when he shrinks back slightly.

 

“Sorry,” he apologizes, but still he holds out the opened book to her. “Just take a look. What harm can it do?”

 

Regina sighs and rolls her eyes on reflex. If this is what she must do to rid herself of this nuisance, then what, indeed, can the harm be? She takes the preferred tome from Henry, but not without a pointed glare, and then holds it up to inspect it. As she thumbs through the pages, she is mostly disinterested, but that all changes the moment she notices a particular illustration. There, in colored portrait, is a remarkably accurate rendering of her waiting in the woods on her fallen log as a massive werewolf runs toward her with barely restrained excitement in its eyes. Gasping, she turns startled eyes up to Henry.

 

“Where did you get this? How is it even possible? I don't understand.”

 

Henry smiles patiently. “It’s like I told you, you’re my mom. You just don't remember because you've been written into this book by the Author. We come from another world. It was the Author who wrote your story here with Ruby.” Seeing Regina's confused expression at the name, Henry corrects himself hastily, “sorry, I mean Red Riding Hood. Back home, she goes by the other name.”

 

Still not quite believing all of this, Regina furls her brows skeptically. “That can't be possible. Magic can do many things, but not that. No, there is only one explanation. This tome must have been commissioned by the Queen. She is the only person besides myself and Red who knows about us.”

 

Regina realizes she is grasping at straws, as there was no way such an intricately illustrated book could have been completed so quickly, even by the Queen’s magic. And yet she is unwilling to consider Henry’s tale as possibly being true for fear of kindling some kind of hope within her breast that she may get her happy ending after all.

 

“Then how do you explain this?” Henry says, flipping the page. Upon it is yet another illustration of Regina and Red, though this time the circumstances are far more intimate. They are in bed, their modesty covered only by a well-worn cotton blanket. Regina blushes to the roots of her hair.

 

“How inappropriate,” she comments, hoping to deflect attention from her embarrassment. The details are admittedly incredible, from the way she and Red are all tangled up together, to the contrast of their skin tones (olive on ivory), on down to the love shining in their eyes. Were the subject matter not inappropriate for such a young lad to be viewing, she would have lingered on the page to drink in the sight of Red in all of her glory. As it is, she flips the page quickly so he can no longer see it. “I hope your parents don't let you read such garbage as this.”

 

Rather than appearing chastised, Henry shrugs. “Things are different in our world. I see worse stuff than this on cable TV.”

 

“Well...” Regina gapes, not quite knowing how to respond. “Whatever this...TV is, you should not be reading it. Such things are for more mature audiences.” When Henry laughs, Regina frowns deeply. “What’s so funny?”

 

“It's just...” He tapers off, then grins crookedly. “Even magically written into a book meant to take away your happy ending, you’re still you.”

 

Regina extends the book back out to Henry, trying not to smile at his infectious positivity. “That's nice, but this proves nothing.”

 

Rather than accept, he pushes the book back in her direction and then points at the text on the page Regina had turned to. “You haven't even read what this says yet. I bet it'll be a conversation you remember having.” Regina's brows draw together. Though skeptical once more, she only briefly hesitates before returning her attention to the book again. “Go ahead,” he encourages, pointing toward the page with his head. “What can it hurt to read a few sentences?”

 

Regina rolls her eyes for the second time in as many minutes, but gives in just the same. It annoys her to no end that Henry seems able to convince her to act against her own better judgment. But there is just something about him that makes her want to please him, even if she knows it is completely nonsensical.

 

Turning her eyes down to the text, she indulges him by reciting aloud:

 

“ _Heaving a thoroughly contented sigh, Regina nuzzle_ _d_ _her_ _cheek_ _upon_ _Red's_ _bare_ _chest, eyes slid_ _ing_ _shut_ _to drift back to sleep. She_ _was_ _half under the pull of drowsiness_ _when a hand beg_ _a_ _n to_ _gently rub the small of her back._ _Eyes cracking open,_ _Regina_ _tilt_ _ed_ _her head_ _up to_ _catch_ _blurry_ _green eyes regarding her_ _with unfiltered happiness_ _._ _Red’s entire countenance_ _was_ _alight with a luminous adoration that cause_ _d_ _Regina’s chest to swell with emotions that are nearly uncontainable_ _._

 

“’ _Morning, my plucky bandit,” Red greeted, a lazy smile stretched across her lips. Her voice was a welcome song to Regina’s inclined ears._

 

 _Regina chuckle_ _d_ _at the traditional morning greeting Red has adopted ever since they met. “Good morning, fairy wolfmother,” she replie_ _d_ _as she props herself slightly upon the elbow nestled between Red’s right arm and ribs. When her disheveled but absolutely adorable werewolf’s smile widen_ _ed_ _, Regina lean_ _ed_ _down to kiss her._ ”

 

Unwilling to read anymore, Regina thrusts the book back at Henry. “I can't…how? No one knows that we call each other by those names.” Figuring she must be delusional she holds a hand over her forehead to check for fever. Finding her skin at perfect temperature, she breathes out, “this can't be happening. There is no way this is real.”

 

“But it is,” Henry gently reiterates. “You've just seen proof of it, because judging by your reaction, this clearly happened.”

 

Not trusting herself to speak, Regina stares off into the distance, eyes following the rough path at the other end of which Red is being held captive. Since her initial instinct to dismiss Henry’s book as some impressive feat of magic has been dashed, she is suddenly powerless to prevent the dangerous blossoming of hope within her heart.

 

She can’t help but wonder. What if Henry’s assertions are true after all? What if this really is a mere figment of her imagination, some kind of cursed world in perpetual stasis ordained by the will of one deranged man? The idea is preposterous on its own merits, but aside from the pause produced by the tangible evidence that has been presented to her, she has personally witnessed many ludicrous things in her life. Then there is Henry’s strange style of dress, which is so out of place that it only bolsters his argument. Furthermore, Henry does not seem the type of boy to lie about such things.

 

That said, if he is telling the truth, she is greatly concerned as to what kind of a world might be awaiting her should his efforts to ‘fix’ things succeed. She has no idea as to the state of life in this other reality, and that is incredibly worrisome. For instance, is the Queen still her enemy there? If she were to escape this false world for the real one, would she simply be eluding one doom by leaping headlong into another? And most importantly, how exactly does Red fit in the equation? If Red really is this 'Ruby' as Henry proclaims, is she still the same kind, loving woman who fell in love with a hopeless criminal? Or does she even know who Regina is at all?

 

The questions she poses to herself give rise to only more to the point that Regina feels obliged to press for clarification.

 

“Say I'm willing to entertain this fantastical scenario as possible,” she poses, noting how excited Henry becomes at the prospect of her believing him. For some strange reason she feels good about it, though she dismisses that feeling in the interest of seeking answers. “Does the Evil Queen live in this world, and if so, is she still hunting me?”

 

“No to the last question,” Henry replies, “and the second is more complicated than I have time to explain. You’ll just have to trust me when I say the Evil Queen is no longer an issue in our world.”

 

Regina’s eyes narrow at the evasion, but she recognizes the wisdom in not over-complicating the discussion. “Alright. And what about Red? Does she know me in this world of yours?”

 

Henry grins and gives her an enthusiastic nod. “Yes! In fact, she's your girlfriend.”

 

Regina frowns. “’Girl... _friend_?’ This terminology confuses me. Does it mean that she loves me as a friend?”

 

“It’s more than that,” Henry says, his cheeks growing rosy. “Friends don’t hav...er, do the kind of things you guys do together.”

 

“So we are in love then?”

 

“Yeah.” He smiles sweetly. “You adore Ruby and she practically worships the ground you walk on. I’m a teenage boy who considers all that lovey-dovey stuff kinda gross, but even I think you guys are adorable.”

 

Regina cannot stop the smile that forms on her face as she hears this news, even though she is not totally convinced just yet. Still, it helps to know that should Henry’s admittedly outlandish claim prove true, she will not lose Red in the process of losing the only world she’s ever known.

 

But even with that reassurance she is left with an enormous conundrum to solve. On one hand, Red is the Queen's captive and in dire need of rescue. But on the other hand, assuming Henry is being truthful, fixing the handiwork of this 'Author' will logically reverse what everything that has been done in implementing this fairy tale prison. If that is indeed the case, Red would be freed by consequence without Regina having to turn herself in. But if Henry is wrong…

 

Before Regina can even go down that train of thought, she narrows her eyes at the young man that still seems so very familiar (though she supposes he should seeing as he insists to be her son).

 

“What is it you would require of me should I agree to help you?”

 

A triumphant whoop is her immediate answer, and again Regina almost smiles at Henry's youthful enthusiasm.

 

“We need to find my other mom, Emma,” he then says, still buoyant with optimism. “She can fix things. She's the Savior.”

 

Trying not to react at the name, Regina zeroes in on a possible hole in Henry's story. “I thought I was your mother.”

 

“You are,” he replies without missing a beat. “Back in our world, you adopted me as a baby. Emma is my birth mother. You guys kinda share custody.”

 

There is a certain plausibility in his explanation, but while Regina senses no deception, she cannot imagine how such an arrangement would work. “I see. And how do I feel about this awkward situation?”

 

“You're okay with it. You’ve learned to work together with Emma over the years. I like to think you've become friends.”

 

Cocking her hip to the side, Regina rests her hand on it and peers at Henry intently. “Alright, say I accept this line of reasoning as valid. What exactly is the need for finding your 'other mother'?”

 

He sighs with impatience. “I already told you. She's the Savior.”

 

“The Savior you say?” This time Regina does not bother to mask the fact that she has heard that moniker before. If freeing this Emma is required to 'fix things', she knows it already to be an impossible undertaking. “If this 'Savior' is indeed your mother then I cannot help you retrieve her,” she tells Henry. “She is being held in an island fortress off the coast of Misthaven, well beyond my reach.”

 

The bad news appears to have no effect on the young man, which is both annoying and impressive. The only person Regina ever knew to be so resilient in their optimism was a young Snow White.

 

“That's okay.” He shrugs as if crossing hundreds of leagues is a minor obstacle. “If we can find Hook, he can take us there on the Jolly Roger.”

 

At that, Regina's brow raises. She has heard of this individual as well. “Hook? The _pirate_?”

 

“That's the one.”

 

“How does he fit into all of this?” Regina queries, curious as to why Henry seems intent upon finding him. She can tell it has more to do than his usefulness as a sailor with access to a ship.

 

Henry frankly replies, “He's my mom's boyfriend.”

 

Regina chuckles ruefully at the picture coming together in her head of Henry’s world. It is a strange one to say the least.

 

“Well, I'll admit, the tangled web of this...” she waves her hand about as she speaks, “reality you inhabit is complex indeed. But the fact remains, I cannot help you.” Her continued refusal this time causes Henry to visibly deflate, and while Regina feels bad for turning him down, he will simply have to accept it. Taking that kind of detour is out of the question with a deadline looming ahead of her and many miles yet to travel.

 

To ease his disappointment, she decides to explain her reasoning. “As your book accurately portrayed, Red is my lover, and she is being held captive by the Evil Queen. If I do not turn myself in by sundown tomorrow, awful things will be done to her. Unspeakable things. Things I cannot allow to happen any more than they already have.”

 

“You can't!” Henry suddenly exclaims, wide-eyed with concern and objection. “You can't turn yourself in to her, Mom. She'll kill you!”

 

Giving the boy a sad smile, Regina nods. “Yes, she will. But it's my only choice. I love Red too much to condemn her to such a fate as awaits her should I not show up.” Looking down at the slightly shorter young man, Regina wills him to both understand and recognize her decision as final. She doesn’t need his approval, but she wants it anyway and is not quite sure why.

 

When Henry sighs in defeat, she knows he has surrendered to her reasoning. It relieves her to know he won’t fight her further, but at that same time there is at least one thing she can do for him.

 

“I have to save her Henry,” she tells him, “not only for her sake but for mine as well. That said, I promise to at least see you safely to New Providence, for it is there that Blackbeard docks the Jolly Roger and it is there you will find the pirate named Hook.”

 

Stopping his incoming protest with a raised hand, she repents of her earlier belief that he has in any way accepted her decision. She fixes him with a glare that is stern but lacking any real bite.

 

“I'll hear no more arguments on this matter. If you're going to come with me, then do so, but please respect my decision. I will not change my mind. Do you understand?”

 

Ducking his head, he nods with a resigned expression in place. “Yes, ma'am.”

 

Assured at least of Henry’s compliance, Regina turns back for the road, but not before clasping the lad’s shoulder in a comforting gesture meant to assuage her harshness. An inexplicable swell of fondness for him washes over her, and she rubs his shoulder in a maternal way that feels foreign to her and yet familiar all at the same time.

 

“Very well, then,” she says after a moment of lingering, “let's be off. It's half a days journey to New Providence and I have little time to waste.”

 

Regina gives Henry’s shoulder one final squeeze and then sets off back down the path toward their destination. Henry follows closely on her heel.

 

A heavy silence descends as they trek onward, and aside from the occasional comment or question from Henry to which Regina patiently responds, it remains mostly in place until they arrive in New Providence some six hours later. It is nearing dusk when they enter the town proper, so Regina wastes no time in visiting the nearest inn. After securing a room with two beds, she instructs Henry where to find the docks, and then releases him to locate his pirate while she procures supplies. Before he leaves, however, she extracts a promise from him that he speak to no one aside from Hook.

 

Once he has departed for the docks, Regina closes her eyes and breathes a sigh of relief. Truthfully, she sent Henry away in a moment of selfishness because she wants to be alone.

 

Several times during the journey she had been overwhelmed by thoughts of Red to the point of nearly losing her composure. Wondering whether or not her lover was being beaten or raped again at any given moment was torture. And while Snow had made an oath that Red would not be harmed further, the Queen has always displayed a proficiency for semantics along with a frightful willingness to skirt around her own promises. Regina could not even begin to imagine what creative methods of hurting Red Snow could devise within the warped recesses of her psychotic mind.

 

Every time such thoughts occurred to Regina, images from the mirror would begin dancing behind her eyes. Even now the excruciating pain on Red's face as Charming violated her is always crystal clear as if she is reliving the horror and not remembering it. And the sound of Red’s tormented screams would echo maddeningly through her head and then spiral down the length of her spine until settling into her stomach, inflaming the nausea all over again.

 

It was during those battles against her own mind that she began to grasp a terrible truth. Even if she somehow manages to rescue Red, things will never be the same. Every moment that passes with Red in the Queen's clutches, she is being irreparably scarred, not only physically but mentally and emotionally, to the point that the woman Snow had captured would not be the same one who emerges from the ashes of this fiery crucible. No matter the outcome, the Queen will have won, for whoever survives will experience lasting effects that drastically alter the way they live their life.

 

But dwelling on such things does her little good at the moment, so after half an hour of moping about the decrepit little room she’d rented, she forces herself to start moving. To clear her mind, she heads out into the streets of New Providence where she wanders aimlessly about taking in the town. It has grown considerably since she'd last visited. Where one there were empty lots, shops and homes have sprung up, and the population seems to have grown substantially judging by the sizable crowd occupying the streets.

 

One thing remains the same, however: the people remain willfully oblivious to the fact that they live under the rule of a murderous psychopath whose greatest pleasure is the misery of others. Watching the citizens of New Providence mill about town, passing by her without a care in the world, angers Regina more than it should.

 

“ _Don’t they know what the Queen is doing right now?_ ” she thinks, casting blame on these ordinary people that does not belong to them. Rationally, she realizes that they are merely getting on with their lives as best they can. But Regina is not feeling rational, hasn’t really since she’d witnessed one of the most atrocious acts conceivable being perpetrated upon the woman she loves.

 

Her mood darkens the longer she walks, and in a fitting bit of coincidence the sun fades along with it.  When at last it begins to dip below the horizon, she makes haste to return to the inn. Once there, she discovers Henry waiting for her inside. He is not alone. Standing next to him is a tall, slender, and rakishly handsome man dressed in black leather with equally dark hair and eyes the color of a stormy sea. One of the his hands is missing and in its place was a gleaming silver hook, the source of his unique moniker.

 

Regina pauses in the doorway. “You must be Hook, or so I presume,” she greets, eyeing him critically to determine whether or not he is a threat. To her surprise, he appears to be fairly docile for a pirate.

 

“Aye, that I am,” he replies in his roguish accent.

 

As she offers him her hand, she locks eyes with him to test his mettle. He meets her gaze with an admirable firmness. “I'm Regina.”

 

Hook smiles at her then, and if she is being honest, it is a very nice one. She can certainly see the appeal that had attracted Henry's 'other mother', but is not about to voice that opinion.

 

“Pleased to meet you, lass,” Hook returns.

 

“Likewise,” Regina nods, though she narrowed her eyes, “but don't call me lass. I have an incredibly sharp knife and I am _very_ good at using it.”

 

Holding his hands up in mock surrender, Hook’s lips turn up crookedly. “Duly noted, milady.”

 

Regina rolls her eyes and scoffs, to which Hook’s amusement only deepens. She ignores him as she enters the room, shedding her fur-lined vest as she walks. She places it on the end table next to the modest bed and then sits primly upon the edge before returning her attention to Hook.

 

“Has Henry informed you of his need?”

 

Hook rubs absently at his eponymous appendage. “He has.”

 

“And are you amenable to aiding him?”

 

“I am,” he replies confidently. “I’ve already procured a vessel. We depart at first light.” Waving his hooked hand in her direction, he then inquires, “Will you be accompanying us on the journey?”

 

Regina averts her gaze for a moment, frowning deeply. Though she knows her path to be set and has reconciled herself to what awaits her at the end, she is honestly disappointed she can not aid Henry further. Had circumstances not been as they were, she would have agreed to tag along, for against better sense, she believes in him (his tale about other realities is another matter altogether). Since circumstances are what they are, though, her obligations reside elsewhere with her imprisoned lover.

 

She takes a breath and then releases it before answering Hook. “Unfortunately, I cannot. My love is being held ransom by the Evil Queen, and I must secure their release.”

 

“Not an easy task,” Hook comments, brooding slightly at the mention of the Queen. As a pirate, he has probably crossed paths with Snow many a time and is thus well aware of her inclinations. “Her Majesty is not known for clemency...or kindness.”

 

“I do not expect clemency,” Regina replies. “I intend to trade my life for hers.”

 

Hook's eyes bulge dramatically. “Hers?”

 

Regina huffs out a breath at the typically male reaction, though she is not terribly surprised at it. Even if she did not consider herself of exclusively one inclination, being a bandit has exposed her to all manner of lifestyles and sexual orientations. As a person who believes that love cannot be defined, she has never disapproved of those who love another of their sex. However, most men do not deal well with women whose proclivities do not lie with them, which it is not so much a judgment as it is a reality according to her experiences.

 

“Yes. _Her_. Does it offend your masculinity that I love a woman rather than a man?” She presses Hook carefully so as not to unjustly offend or mislabel him. She is genuinely interested to know what kind of man he is, and his reply will reveal much to her in that vein.

 

“Not at all,” is his readily supplied answer. Regina studies his expression, finding no disgust or condemnation there. “It just surprised me is all,” he then clarifies. “I've sailed with such mates of both genders during my travels. It never bothered me. I'm more of live and let love kind of fellow.”

 

The suave smile Hook supplies along with that last sentence suggests his words are true, and as handsome a man as he is, Regina is certain he gets plenty of love wherever he goes. Still, his liberal attitude toward sexuality does not necessarily mean he is a person of upstanding character. After all, at the risk of gross generalization, most pirates are self-serving degenerates. Hook, however, does not seem to fall into that stereotypical mold quite so neatly.

 

“Of that, I've no doubt,” she offers in reply, eyeing him in such a way that indicates she understood his implication. Her doubts resolved, she stands to extend her hand once more. “Well, then, Mr. Hook, on the morrow, I will entrust young Henry into your care. Do I have your solemn vow that you will protect him?”

 

Taking her hand with his good one, Hook gives it a firm shake, his eyes clear and honest. “Aye. I swear it upon my life.”

 

Now that Regina is satisfied Henry will be looked after, the stress of the day and her lack of sleep the night before finally catches up to her. She can feel the weariness seeping into her bones, dragging her down. She indicates toward the door with her hand.

 

“Very well, then. If you don't mind, I need to rest. I have a long journey ahead of me tomorrow.”

 

Instead of being affronted at the abrupt dismissal, Hook nods with understanding. “Fair enough. I thank you for your trust, milady.”

 

“You're welcome,” Regina replies, managing a small smile. “See that you don't break it. If you do, I’ll hunt you down to the ends of the earth.”

 

In response to the very real threat, Hook shows respect by bowing formally. “On my honor.” He then crosses over toward the door, but before leaving turns halfway back to address Henry. “I will see you bright and early in the morning lad, so you best get some shut-eye.”

 

“Okay,” is Henry's simple reply. “See ya, Hook.”

 

With that, Hook departs, which allows Regina the freedom to go about preparing to retire. As she loses herself in the process of turning down the bed, Henry sidles over next to her.

 

“Hey, Mom?”

 

“Yes, Henry?” she responds, failing to notice her failure to correct his reference to her as his mother.

 

Sitting down on the corner of the bed, he sets his big, endearing brown eyes on her. “I promise that once we rescue Emma, we'll come back to help you. We'll save Ruby together, you'll see.”

 

Hope flares within Regina's breast for the third time, and it is stronger than ever before. And though she tries to stamp it enough so as to extinguish it, it persists stubbornly.

 

“Her name is Red, dear,” she corrects, her gaze softening ever-so-slightly, “and I highly doubt that. The island is leagues away and I will arrive at the Dark Palace on the morrow. Even the Jolly Roger cannot make the journey in so short a time.”

 

As if knowing a secret she is not privy to, Henry counters, “But Hook was not captain before. He is now. Have faith, Mom. I believe we can do this. We can save Emma and _Red_ and undo Isaac's story, and then we'll all be home again. You'll see.”

 

Having arranged the cover on the bed, Regina plops down heavily upon it, then rests her hands on her thighs. She sighs wearily. “If only it were so simple, Henry.”

 

Not for the first time she wishes for all the world she could see things the way young Henry does. Life, however, has been a harsh teacher for Regina. A person can only endure so much loss and face so many setbacks before they began to accept that hope is a fool's crutch, and this latest tragedy seems to be one time too many. In the heaviness of the moment, it seems as if the camel’s back has finally been broken, only not by a straw but an image in a magic mirror. As a result, the healthy cynicism she'd worn like a coat of mail before Red came along begins to wrap itself around her once again, and she hasn't the strength left to fight it.

 

Bowing her head, Regina tries to conceal the welling of tears upon her lids. But then Henry scoots closer until he is nestled up against her side, then winds a lean arm around her shoulders. Rather than draw away as she normally would have, she is so downtrodden that she accepts the embrace, needing his strength in this moment of weakness.

 

“Don't cry, Mom,” Henry says, rubbing his hand down her arm. “I promise that everything will be okay.”

 

The part of Regina that wants to believe in Henry wonders at how many times he’s repeated this gesture for her in the past. The practiced nature of his movements reveals that he’s done so many times, which casts a negative light on her abilities as a mother. No son of his tender age should be so adept at comforting a parent. “ _Perhaps_ ,” she thinks bitterly, “ _I am as much a failure in his world as_ _I am_ _in_ _this one_ _._ ”

 

Aloud, she counters his reassurances with her justifiable doubts. “You can't know that,” she says, a lonely tear escaping her lids to roll down her cheek. “The Evil Queen has Red. The only person left in this world that I love is the captive of a woman lacking any sense of morality and whose villainy knows no limits. It’s tearing me apart not knowing what’s being done to her. I can’t go on like this, Henry, I just can’t.”

 

“But none of this is real,” he gently reminds her. “Nothing that the Evil Queen does in this world really matters, because when Emma fixes things, it'll be like it never happened.”

 

She looks at him dubiously. “How can you be so sure?”

 

Henry’s expression turns thoughtful, and a wisdom shines in his eyes that doesn’t quite fit with his youth. He seems in that moment almost ancient, as if he has lived through many harsh lessons taught by life.

 

“Because this is not a curse,” he says. “This is a story – a bad one for sure, but still just a story. And if there's one thing I've learned in all my creative writing classes it's that bad stories can be erased.”

 

The answer is overly simplistic, but Regina can see the rationale behind it – assuming Henry is correct, that is. She sighs and then brushes a hand through her hair. “For Red's sake, I hope you're right.”

 

“I am. You’ll see.” With that, Henry gives her shoulder one last squeeze before sliding off the bed to shuck off his own coat.

 

Regina watches closely as he removes the strange hooded garment beneath and lays it aside also. He picks up his book once more, then shuffles over to a rickety old chair nestled beneath the only window in the room. Once comfortable, he flips through the pages and begins to read. Mere seconds pass before a yawn breaks through his attempt conceal how fatigued he is.

 

It is, Regina decides, an opportune moment to take leave of him for the night. “Well,” she drawls as she stands, “since we’re both tired, I’m going to retire to the chambers next to this one. Do not open your door for anyone, do not leave this room for anything, and if you have need of me, do not hesitate to wake me. Alright?” Henry nods casually. Motherly instincts Regina didn’t know she had kick in with a vengeance. “I’m serious, Henry. You are my charge until the morning, and I’ll sleep better knowing that you’ll use common sense.”

 

“I understand, Mom,” he replies, lips stretching into a knowing smile. “I’ll be quiet as a field mouse and cautious as a spooked horse.”

 

Regina returns his smile, though her insides are twisting from the familiarity of that phrase. It is one that father would make her repeat when her mother was on the warpath. More than ever before, she is convinced that Henry is being honest about his claims. In the end, however, that belief changes nothing because Red is still in chains.

 

Regina quickly clamps down on her emotions. “Good boy,” she says, and then makes to leave the room. She stops to hover in the doorway, turning back to look at Henry, who is studying her closely. “Lock the door when I leave. Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight, Mom,” he replies. As she pulls the door closed, she hears Henry set his book aside and rise. She lingers just outside, following the sound of his boots as he approaches the door, and only moves to her own room upon hearing the clinking of the lock and his return to the other side of his room.

 

The moment Regina is inside her chambers, she closes and locks the door then presses her back into it as her caged emotions burst free from their frail bonds.

 

Red. Her sweet, beautiful Red. So pristine, so compassionate, so selfless, but now ruined. The torment of Red being violated before her eyes slices through what optimism Henry has inspired, and Regina feels the strength in her legs rapidly dwindle. Red’s voice then begins to swirl around in her brain, taunting her ceaselessly for her failures while also entreating for salvation.

 

Unable to hold herself up any longer, Regina slides helplessly down the door until she is curled up into a ball at the base. She is fracturing critically, she knows, to the point that her facade of invulnerability threatens to crumble.

 

“ _So this is what insanity feels like_ ,” she thinks, and quite unexpectedly feels pangs of sympathy for the Queen. If this is how Snow had felt after James’ death, it is no wonder the woman snapped. Red is not even dead and already Regina is losing her grip.

 

She isn’t sure how long she is in the floor before her own exhaustion overwhelms her. Somehow, as she had the night before, she manages to wobble her way upright and then stagger over to the bed.

 

After making quick but sloppy work of removing her boots and stripping down to her underwear, she crawls beneath the sheets. Her arms ache for Red’s preternatural warmth, so she latches onto one of the uncomfortable pillows and snuggles up to it as closely as she can. It is a poor substitute, but in her addled state she can tell little difference.

 

“I love you so much, and I miss you,” she whispers, her eyes open but no longer seeing her decrepit room. The ghost of Red’s glory fills her vision, and she revels in the sight of twinkling green eyes, tumbling brown curls and a smile that can illuminate even the most tenebrous abyss. “Please don’t give up on me. Just hang on. I’m coming for you.”

 

Regina continues to mutter promises and endearments and random half-delirious nonsense into the empty room until she finally falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say about this one, as it is pretty straightforward, and I'm in a bit of a rush to get this posted. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who is still reading after that last chapter. It was rough, but vital to set up the last few installments which deal with the consequences of old sins being dredged up.
> 
> See y'all tomorrow.


	6. The Little Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Regina struggles with what lies before her while also dealing with saying goodbye to Henry. No warnings except for brief mentions of what happened to Red and lots of angst for Regina.

* * *

 

" _I apologize / That your memory serves you more than I can now / You'll have to make sense of my life somehow / Yeah, somehow_ " - "Permission" by Sixx A.M.

* * *

 

 

 **Chapter 5** – The Little Prince

 

The next morning Regina startles awake, barely biting back a scream as all memory of her dream slips away with consciousness. She grasps at her chest on instinct, panting in rhythm with the vicious pounding of her heart. Her skin is slick with sweat, and anxiety nags at the back of her mind – a latent remnant of whatever hellish dream she’d been in the throes of.

 

As she forces herself to breath evenly, she glances through the grimy window in her room, noting that the sun has only just begun to peak over the horizon. She is still operating on Red’s internal clock and the familiarity of their mutually acquired morning rhythm settles over her, calming her frayed nerves.

 

Shifting to sit cross-legged on the bed, she leans her elbows on her knees and cradles her head in her hands. The allowance of a brief moment of respite is a luxury, but one she needs to collect herself for the day ahead. A minute of so of silence passes before it suddenly dawns on her that today may well be the last she will ever know. She is less affected by the thought than she would have guessed. Resignation, it seems, has set in overnight. Regina is glad of it; she’d not wanted her journey to be plagued by apprehension.

 

Her eyes slip shut and she turns her mind to Red, picturing their last morning together. She remembers Red’s face as she glanced up, how beautiful she’d been even in the relative darkness and that although her eyes were sleepy her smile was radiant as the sun. Ghosts of the kisses they shared whisper across her lips, and a soul-deep longing awakens within her to taste those full lips one last time. Red’s skin had been particularly warm and soft that morning, and Regina explicitly recalls that it felt beneath her fingers like silk spun with great care by the hand of some cosmic weaver. The smell of Red’s breath and of her desire also linger within Regina’s nostrils, filling her senses with a tangy aroma that is also sweet and wild and wonderful.

 

And then she hears Red’s voice, so melodic and smooth and lyrical in quality. Listening to Red has been one of Regina’s favorite pastimes since they met, which was a change of pace for a woman accustomed to being alone. Adjustment came quickly by necessity, however, as Red is a woman who loves to talk and does so with great enthusiasm whether she is telling stories or cracking jokes or showering Regina with compliments that seem to spring eternal from reservoir of affection.

 

There is one particular instance Regina remembers that brings a smile to her face. It was Red’s third month visiting, back when their friendship was new but rapidly blossoming into something of a special strength that gave both women enough confidence to endure and reciprocate teasing.

 

Earlier in the month, Red had served as the sole security escort for a caravan of diplomats on a long trip to the north. Though the Queen did not accompany them, she gave them authority in her name to renegotiate terms of her treaty with local barons. The mission was important enough for Red to be assigned, much to her displeasure.

 

During the week-long journey there were a series of ambushes, and once one of the diplomats got lost taking a stroll in the woods nearby. It had taken Red nearly three hours to find him because of the circuitous route he took and his propensity to circle back over himself in his desperation.

 

Of course, Red went into excruciating detail about the rescue, how she’d finally found him half naked up a tree and shaking like a leaf but refusing to climb down because the bear that had chased him up it might still smell the honey he’d pilfered from the inn they stayed in the night before. Her emotive way of describing her exasperation at the man only made her story all the more endearing.

 

When Red had caught Regina grinning at her, her brows scrunched up adorably. “What?”

 

Regina shook her head, lips still stretched wide. “You are quite a verbose young lady, aren’t you?”

 

Red playfully narrowed her eyes in response, her own lips teasing upward. “Is that your highfalutin way of saying I talk too much, princess?”

 

“I would never!” Although Regina held her hands up to her chest in an innocent gesture meant to sell the denial, her friend was not buying it.

 

“Uh, huh,” Red had replied, trying to appear offended but failing miserably. She then plopped down heavily upon Regina’s favorite stump and crossed her arms over her chest. With an exaggerated harrumph, she’d groused, “Well, I’d hate to be the cause of discomfort Your Royal Highness, so I’ll just sit right here and be quiet.”

 

Regina had just laughed and reassured Red that she found the chattering adorable, to which Red blushed clear to her roots. After that she was back to talking a mile a minute and Regina had savored every moment.

 

It has only been a week since they last saw each other, but Regina already misses Red’s voice keenly, misses the way it makes her feel safe and happy and loved. She misses Red in general, and she knows that the ache currently living in her chest will endure until she sees her beloved werewolf safe and secure. But until then, she has to press on, has to keep moving forward, because if she doesn’t – if she slows down long enough to fully process the situation she is in – the tidal waves of inevitable sorrow will simply inundate her to the point of destruction.

 

As it is, Regina has to force herself out of the comfort of wistful reminiscing so that she can prepare for the day ahead. After crawling out of bed and donning her clothes once more, she wander over to Henry’s room. Upon pressing her ear against the door, she hears no sound whatsoever, so she quickly picks the lock to check in on her young charge. She is unsurprising to find him still fast asleep.

 

In repose, his boyish yet maturing features are absent the perpetual undercurrent of worry that he’d worn the day before. Regina takes her time studying his features, allowing her eyes to roam over his dark hair and brows, the crease of his cheeks, and then to the downward turn of his chin. Her heart stirs within her once more and for a moment, she simply stares at him, astounded by his innocence and awestruck that he may very well be her son.

 

But even though a tiny niggle in the back of her mind encourages her to stay and watch over Henry until he wakes, she brushes it off. Since he is likely to slumber for some hours yet, she decides that it would be a better use of her time if she arranged a bath for herself.

 

After leaving Henry somewhat hesitantly, she makes her way down to the public facilities. Due to the extremely early hour, it is lightly populated, but still she ducks into an empty area, preferring as much privacy as possible. On the way she procures a drying cloth and soap, then begins the process of divesting herself of a week's worth of grime and stink.

 

Since Red went missing, she has uncharacteristically neglected her personal hygiene, and even though her odor can’t have been pleasant to the nose, Henry had not indicated he was bothered by it. Perhaps he hadn’t commented to save her the embarrassment, and if so she feels some small amount of pride for his gentlemanly conduct. After all, if he really is her son as he claims, then she had done an excellent job in raising him.

 

For a few precious minutes, Regina allows herself the luxury of relaxing in the bath, but she is plagued by thoughts of her captive lover all over again. One of the things Red most loved to do together was bathe, and it is a joy that Regina shares.

 

At least twice per week during Red’s sojourns, they make time to travel to a lake located about half a mile from her shack. Located in a pristine clearing and hemmed in by oddly configured outcroppings of rocks, its water is of the clearest blue and is never too hot or cold. Regina has often mused as to whether or not there is some magical or geological force at play she does not understand, but in the end, it never really mattered much when the water is always so perfect.

 

After divesting themselves of clothing, the established ritual is for Regina to offer her hand, which Red would then take with a demur smile and then allow herself to be lead out into the serene waters. Sometimes they swam for a bit and sometimes they simply waded chest deep to sway in each others arms to the rhythm of the gentle currents. But the best part of the experience is when they take turns washing one another with gentle strokes and tender caresses that serve only to heighten the trustful intimacy between them.

 

As Regina brushes the soaped cloth along the length of her bare skin, she wonders whether she will ever get to feel Red's hands on her again, lavishing every inch of skin in her diligent and worshipful pursuit to cleanse Regina from head to toe. Feeling herself well up with emotion, Regina bares down on her thoughts, reining them in lest they run away with her as they almost had earlier this morning. She cannot afford for despondency to set in when the toughest part of her journey lay ahead.

 

After a relatively short bath, she quickly redresses and returns to the inn in a rush, not wanting to leave Henry alone for too long. The only stop she makes is to procure a couple of apples and two honey-baked biscuits from the kitchen. Once back at his room, she has to set breakfast aside to pick his lock for the second time, and when she steps through the threshold a few moments later, she finds him still snoozing away.

 

Regina envies the energetic young man’s ability to sleep so soundly. Worried sick as she is about Red, she had tossed and turned most of the night, only managing a scant hour of sleep before waking. Thankfully, she is long accustomed to going long stretches without much sleep. Life on the run is not conducive to extended periods of downtime in which she can relax enough to truly rest. Only when Red is with her does she feel safe falling into a deep slumber.

 

Standing next to his bed, Regina indulges that part of herself that earlier had desired to watch over Henry as he slept. Somehow, it doesn’t feel perverse or voyeuristic as it perhaps should, and in the silence of the morning she contemplates why that is.

 

There is no denying that she felt drawn to him from the moment she heard his name. It was almost as if some biological imperative to protect him sparked to life without her even knowing. There is simply something about Henry that compels Regina to care when she otherwise wouldn’t, and whether that is because he is truly her son as he says or she merely has developed an affinity for him, she is not sure. But Regina does wonder if that is the way Red had felt that day a little over a year ago when she’d rescued an outlaw and nursed her back to health.

 

“Good morning,” Henry suddenly greets without even opening his eyes. Regina stumbles back a step and has the grace to look apologetic when he cracks his eyes open to regard her in a half-conscious way.

 

“Good morning,” she manages to choke out around her surprise. “I'm sorry if I woke you.”

“It’s fine,” he says as he works himself upright into a seated position. His arms stretch high above his head as he yawns loudly, after which he continues, “This is not new for me. You do the same thing back home sometimes.”

 

Her eyes widen at that. “I do?”

 

Henry smiles gently and nods. “Yeah. I used to think it was creepy, but that was during a...difficult phase for me.” He says this while scratching at the back of his head, looking chagrined. “I don't mind it so much anymore.”

 

“I suppose that is a good thing,” Regina says, and then chuckles when she notices Henry’s eyes cut to the food she is holding in her hand.

 

He eyes it with unabashed longing. “Is that breakfast?”

 

There is an insatiable hunger in his question that reminds Regina very much of Red, and it is does much to further endear Henry to her. She tries to hold on to that positive feeling instead of sinking into further contemplations of things she misses about Red that she may never see or hear or feel or experience ever again.

 

She extends the plate in his direction. “It's not much. I used up most of my coin renting the rooms. I’m sorry.”

 

“It looks great!” Henry assures, not a hint of deception in his eagerness as he reaches out for one of the apples she'd procured. He sighs happily as he stares at it, as if it were made of gold. “I love apples.”

 

“So do I.” Regina grins when Henry takes a huge bite, and she watches his eyes crinkle with pleasure at the taste of their sweetness. Her stomach rumbles as she watches him take another chunk out of the fruit, so she sets the plate down on the stand next to the bed and fetches the other one for herself. “They're my favorite,” she comments as she twirls it in her hand. “Red tells me all the time that I could live on them and I think she's right.”

 

When her words reverberate through Regina's mind, her good mood extinguishes. Everything, it seems, inextricably links back to Red now, as if she has become ingrained into to every facet of Regina’s life. From bathing to eating to sleeping, she cannot escape the reminders. And although normally she might appreciate the enormity of being so deeply in love with someone, under current circumstances it is torture.

 

“Hey,” Henry calls out as Regina withdraws into herself. After standing from the bed, he gently extracts the apple from Regina's trembling hand and then sets it back on the plate. He then takes one of her hands in his and rubs it gently between the other. “Remember what I said last night,” he says. “Have faith. This isn't the end for you guys. I'm gonna to make sure of it.”

 

Choking back tears, Regina reaches up to place her palm upon Henry's cheek. He leans into the touch, brown eyes shining with affection. “You're a sweet boy,” she tells him, “but I'm afraid this might be out of both our hands now. Fate has dealt its hand and as for me, it doesn't look promising.”

 

“There's no fate but what we make for ourselves,” is his almost proverbial counter, and again she marvels at how much older and wiser he appears than the teenaged boy he is. “The future is not set. So don't give up, Mom, ‘cause you are going to get your happily ever after. Just keep hope alive and keep on fighting. You’re a hero, and that’s what heroes do. Besides, I believe in you.”

 

Regina doesn’t really understand the feeling that Henry’s little speech creates in the center of her chest. All she knows is that a warmth blossoms and spreads out until it has suffused her entire being. As if arrested of the self-control that stayed her wishes the night before, she pulls Henry into a tight embrace and nestles her nose into his ruffled up hair. The smell of him, the feel of him in her arms sparks that inexplicable feeling of affection to life which pushes out all of her doubts and fears. It is, Regina suddenly realizes, the first time she actually feels like his mother, and the moment is so poignant she doesn’t ever want to let him go.

 

“Thank you, Henry,” she whispers, placing a tender kiss to the crown of his head.

 

In response, Henry squeezes his arms around her waist. “You're welcome, Mom.”

 

While she has not forgotten about Red by any means, Henry's comfort soothes Regina enough that she is able to refocus. “Come on,” she smiles, and then retrieves the plate holding her apple and two biscuits, “let’s eat. We both need our strength for what lies ahead.”

 

After an amiable breakfast, Regina peers outside the window to check the height of the sun in the sky. It is still early morning, but she knows that Hook will soon be expecting Henry. Gathering up their things is a bit of a melancholy experience for them both, but Regina keeps them both on task by constantly reminding herself why she is doing all of this.

 

Once both she and Henry are ready to go, Regina leads him to the docks where they find Hook loitering at the gangplank of the Jolly Roger.

 

Knowing it is time to say goodbye, she grasps Henry by the shoulders. She knows that she is going to miss him far more than she should considering she has only known him for a day (in this world at least), for despite trying so hard not to at the outset, she cares deeply about him now. Somehow Henry has wormed his way into her heart and made her believe in him in a way only one other person ever has. And that unrelenting optimism of his has reignited a hope in her – small as it is – that there is a chance yet for Red to be saved without surrendering her life in the process. She is grateful to him, and tells him as much.

 

“I'll be seeing you soon,” she says immediately after expressing her gratitude, and is admirably able to hold herself together. “Please be careful on your journey. The Queen is as clever as she is devious, and she will not have left The Savior unprotected.”

 

“I'll be okay, don't worry about me,” Henry replies with a crooked grin. “I have a fair share of experience myself with this whole hero thing.”

 

“Be that as it may, you have not encountered a foe such as the Evil Queen before,” Regina warns.

 

Smirking, Henry shrugs his shoulders. “You'd be surprised.”

 

His casual dismissal of her concern is bothersome enough that Regina reaches out and clasps his shoulder to get his attention. “Promise me, Henry,” she reiterates more forcefully. “Promise me you'll be careful, that you'll stay safe.”

 

Rather than object again, Henry straightens his back and nods intently. “I promise.”

 

“I will personally see to the lad's safety, Milady,” Hook speaks up, having taken a place by Henry's side. His namesake gleams in the early morning sunlight. “I won't let him out of my sight. You have my word.”

 

Regina quirks an eyebrow at the confidently stated assurance. “As a pirate? I'm not sure that qualifies as a comfort.”

 

“Not as a pirate,” he amends. “As a man who once loved a woman who lost a son. I won't allow what happened to Bae happen to young Henry.”

 

Regina softens a bit in sympathy. She too knows what such tragedy can do to a person, how a devastating loss can – if survived – become a powerful motivator that enables people to transform themselves and which can lend the strength to endure things that they otherwise couldn’t.

 

It was Daniel’s loss that hardened Regina enough to marry Leopold and become Snow’s step-mother. She might have become a truly awful person had Snow’s persistence not whittled down her resistance and won her heart. Regina had once truly loved Snow, which is why her former step-daughter’s descent into madness had broken her heart.

 

“While I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Mr. Hook,” Regina says, “in respect of it, I will accept your word of honor.”

 

Hook respectfully tilts his head in response. “I thank you once again for you for your trust as well as for your condolences. I only ask in return that you call me by my name since there is trust between us now.” Extending out his remaining hand, he gives Regina a proper if not flourished bow. “Killian Jones at your service, milady.”

 

Regina accepts the proffered hand and shakes it firmly. “Regina, daughter of Henry,” she reintroduces herself, purposefully not mentioning her mother. “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Jones.”

 

“Are you always so formal?” Hook teases, his blue eyes dancing with good humor.

 

Henry chuckles at the question and gazes fondly in her direction. “You really have no idea.”

 

Regina tuts in protest, and then says with mock sternness, “It's not very gentlemanly to mock a lady, Mr. Jones. Although perhaps it should be expected from a pirate.”

 

“Touche,” Hook replies with a grin. “My apologies, Madam.” When Regina accepts his apology with an inclination of her head, the mischievous glint in his eyes fades. “Will you be off now?” he then inquires.

 

“Yes,” she answers, gaze shifting from Hook to Henry who seems on the verge of protesting one last time before thinking better of it. She is glad of it.

 

While she knows he still still believes there is time for her to accompany him on his own rescue mission without comprising her own to save Red, she does not agree. There is also the not so insignificant fact that she does not want their parting to be any more painful than it already is.

 

After returning her focus to Hook, she tells him, “I must travel without pause if I'm to reach the Dark Palace by sundown.”

 

“Would it help if you had a horse?” Hook returns, catching Regina quite pleasantly by surprise.

 

“Of course it would. Why do you ask?”

 

“I just purchased a gelding a fortnight ago,” he says. “He's stabled at the outskirts of town to the north, which is the direction you're heading if I'm not mistaken.”

 

“You aren't,” Regina confirms, still a bit taken aback by the offer. “May I ask why you are willing to trust a woman you barely know?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Hook counters, and Regina concedes that point by tilting her head and giving a slight nod. “But to answer your question, it's clear you need all the help you can get, and besides that, I have a ship now. I won't be needing him as much as I would have otherwise.”

 

Though unexpected, the offer is far too irresistible to pass up. Riding rather than running, walking, and hitching rides where she can will save her hours on the journey. “Very well, then. If you are sincere, I am inclined to accept. What's his name?”

 

“His name is Liam,” Hook offers, another tortured look crossing his features. He doesn’t elaborate on the story behind the horses name, and aside from her own rushed time table, Regina has no wish to press him as it seems to be a great source of pain for the paradoxically honorable pirate.

 

“Well, Mr. Jones, since you have promised to care for Henry, I promise to do everything in my power to keep Liam safe.” The promise is impossible to guarantee, but it is all she can give.

 

“I'm grateful, milady,” says Hook, who thrusts his hand into his pocket and then pulls something out. “When you arrive at the stables, tell the owner, a man named Ed, that I have loaned you use of my steed. Give him this as proof.”

 

After extending his arm out, Regina notices a coin resting against his palm. She takes it from him, then turns it over to inspect it. It feels funny in her hand, for although it is clearly gold and of a fairly standard size and shape, it has a weight to it that she's never felt before. Upon one side of the coin is a coat of arms she does not recognize, while the other depicts a crowned woman seated regally upon her throne. Above her head is written, “ _Regina Elizabeth._ ” The coincidence is striking since the coin appears very old and worn as if it has been rubbed constantly over a period of untold years.

 

“That’s how I knew this was fate,” Hook says, and Regina glances up to see him gesture toward the coin. “My brother found that coin on our first voyage as a sailors for the Royal Navy. When he died hours later, I kept it. Never understood why until now.”

 

“I’m sorry about your brother,” Regina replies sincerely, understanding Hook’s reaction to the name of his horse now. Liam was the name of his brother.

 

Hook shifts from one leg to another and grasps at his hook, eyes turbulent with old memories. Still, he smiles. “Thank you for the kindness, but it was a long time ago. I just hope it helps get you where you need to go.”

 

Regina rubs the coin between her thumb and index finger before placing it in a pocket sewn into the inside of her vest. She makes note to return it to Hook if she lives beyond the next few days. “I’m sure it will, and while I thank you for loaning me your horse, I would be remiss is I didn’t tell you that the trip I am to undertake is fraught with danger. You might never see the animal again.”

 

Hook does not hesitate in his response. “A small price to pay to save the one you love.”

 

Regina agrees, then adds, “There is no price I would not pay for Red's sake.”

 

Looking intrigued, Hook gestures his uniquely accoutred hand in her direction in an absentminded display of interest. “Is that her name? Your woman?”

 

“It is. Do you know her?”

 

“I don't, but I know of her. The crew often gossips about the Evil Queen when we are around these parts. I heard tale many times of the Queen's pet werewolf who went by such a name. I remembered it because it was so unique...and because she is a werewolf. Such interesting creatures.”

 

“They are,” Regina confirms, though she takes affront at a certain part of his statement. “However, Red is not anyone's pet. She is a magnificent woman of her own merit who deserves respect.”

 

Hook displays enough the intelligence to look contrite as he holds his hands up in a mollifying gesture. “I apologize again, lady Regina. I meant no offense. It was merely a comment, not a judgment.”

 

Sighing at her oversensitivity, Regina shakes her head. “No, I should be the one to apologize. I know you weren’t speaking in a derogatory manner, I just overreacted. I’m sorry.” Regina winces, feeling like she’s said she was sorry far too many times of late.

 

Hook does little to ease her guilt, but she is glad to see that he does not seem to have taken her poor reaction personally. “In that case,” he says, “I hope your journey is swift, and that you find your Red and bring her home where she belongs.”

 

There are no words to express how much Regina wants that too, so she settles for being gracious. “Thank you, Mr. Jones…Killian,” she corrects herself, feeling he has earned the familiar address. “I also wish you good luck on your journey. May the winds favor you and the stars watch over you both.”

 

With one last friendly nod, Hook turns to stride up the gangplank onto the Jolly Roger, where he immediately begins chirping commands to the small crew who chose to remain with him rather than stay loyal to Blackbeard. Once he disappears from sight, Regina impulsively reaches for Henry to draw him into her arms one last time.

 

For at least a full minute they stand silently in the embrace, both reluctant to say goodbye. But no matter how much Regina is unwilling to part from Henry, she feels she has no choice in the matter.

 

“Goodbye, Henry,” she whispers into his ear, biting back tears. “Remember your promise.”

 

“I will, Mom,” he replies with a nod against her shoulder. “Just...whatever you have to do, stay alive. We will come back for you.”

 

Regina doesn’t have the heart to lie to him. After withdrawing to look him straight on, she offers, “I'll try.”

 

That abnormally sage expression that has fascinated Regina every time she’s seen it passes across his face. “That's not good enough,” he says. “Do or do not. There is no try.”

 

Though in her gut the saying feels familiar, like it is something she has heard often in her life, her brain registers it as foreign. And yet she finds herself nodding along anyway. “I will promise to stay alive as long as you do the same.”

 

Henry grins impishly, again as if he was privy to a secret she was not, and then reaches out his hand. “Deal.”

 

Meeting his grin with one of her own, Regina takes his hand and then gives it one firm shake. “Deal.”

 

Having secured her agreement, Henry nods sharply and then releases her hand. Shoulders set, he leaves Regina to climb up the gangplank into the Jolly Roger, and once he is safely aboard, lingers at the edge of the ship before turning back. Peered down at her as if memorizing her every feature, he gives her one last wave and then calls out, “Bye, Mom! See ya soon!”

 

With a return wave, Regina whispers, “Goodbye, little prince.” And with that, steels herself and turns her back to the Jolly Roger for good.

 

After heading back into town, Regina does not bother to procure any more supplies. In her haste, she heads straight up the road that leads north out of town, stopping only at the stables to do as Hook instructed. There she collects a gentle, obedient, and very handsome Liam from his stall where he is waiting just as Hook promised. Reins in hand, she leads the beautiful roan out of the stable and away from the main thoroughfare to the dirt path she will follow to her destination.

 

Before setting off down the road, she gives one final glance back toward town in the direction of the docks before vaulting herself onto the saddle via the stirrups. And as she whispers a silent prayer to the gods on the behalf of Henry and Hook, she promptly urges Liam northward. The steady pounding of his hooves and the rushing whirl of the wind whipping over her face carry her all the way to the outskirts of Dark Palace.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is another fairly straightforward chapter, I'll be succinct as possible with the end note. 
> 
> I did change some things in the way Heroes & Villains played out vs. the way they did on the show. The reason is, I figured since things changed in the real world beforehand, and I speak of Regina and Ruby being in a relationship instead of Regina and Robin, things would of a necessity change in the fake one. As everyone can tell, I also went far darker with Evil Snow in an attempt to make her run more parallel with EQ Regina. Now, I'm sure everyone can think of a hundred different scenarios how these changed inputs might compute as far as narrative is concerned, but this is how it played out for me (keeping in mind the objective of the story, that is). I hope the results are not atrocious, at least. 
> 
> Anyway, this is the last chapter is filler, but an important one I think, before the grand finale in the Enchanted Fauxrest. Tomorrow, things are going to get interesting again. See y'all then.


	7. A Sensible Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final confrontation between Regina and Snow takes place, giving Regina her chance to finally be a hero. No warnings except for some violence and gore.

* * *

 " _I cannot finish any of my thoughts / Forgive me for my wayward shot_ " - "Permission by Sixx A.M.

* * *

 **Chapter 6 –** A Sensible Sacrifice

 

Sunset is nearing by the time Regina arrives on the outskirts of Stahldorf, the village situated at the foot of the mountain upon which the Dark Palace was built. Although it is not usual in size, it is abnormally dense.

 

Since becoming the Evil Queen, Snow’s sinister touch has permeated the entire area so that nothing beneath the shadow of the Palace is left unstained. The homes and shops within Stahldorf have been twisted into shapes that are sharp and jagged so that the entire town serves as a symbol of the unyielding mercilessness with which the Queen doles out judgment. That pallor particularly hangs upon the new buildings commissioned by Snow, to whom inefficiency is a personal insult, to fill every wasted space. Lined with gleaming gray sheets of metal, these newer edifices are – like the sinister tower that overhangs them – accentuated by sharply pitched roofs that reach into the sky as if knives piercing the air.

 

Even the designation of the town itself is reflective of Snow’s transformation, as Stahldorf means in the common tongue, “the steel village.” But it was not always so named. When Regina had first moved into the castle as the King’s new bride, it had a quainter name and a lighter aura. It was alive with the bustling business of life. Now, however, it is cold and unnatural, and Regina shivers because of how much it reminds her of the unyielding tyrant that Snow has become – which is, she presumes, the reason for its dramatic renovation.

 

After making her way into town, she stables Liam and brushes him down before using half of her remaining coin to purchase a handful of small apples and a bag of feed. Liam prefers the apples, which draws a conspiratorial smile from Regina despite her almost certainly hopeless situation.

 

Once the horse is secure, she gives him one last caress before leaving him behind in the care of the stable hands and then begins weaving her way through town. As she maneuvers through the somewhat busy streets, she notices a courier shop nearby, so she drops in to compose a message to Hook in New Providence detailing Liam's location along with assurances that she has purchased a week's worth of provisions for him. She does not bother to mention that she’d sold off her father’s signet ring, which was the last remaining family heirloom in her possession, to secure the horse a stall in addition to his sustenance.

 

With that important duty discharged, Regina begins her trek out of town toward the Dark Palace. The people milling about the roads do not seem to pay her any notice, which is a welcome relief. Her only guess as to the cause of this ignorance is that Snow is overconfident. So close to the Dark Palace, the Queen must have deemed it unnecessary for wanted posters to be plastered upon the windows and doors of every shop in the village. Another potential explanation is that since Regina’s own brief time as Queen was spent mostly in seclusion, few if any of the citizens of Stahldorf will recognize her. Both supposition are logical, but in the end matter little aside from the fact they work to her advantage.

 

Unharried by the possibility of discovery, Regina is able to casually stroll through the village unnoticed until she reaches the large paved road leading up the mountainside which terminates at the grand gates of the Dark Palace. The trek to the top, she knows, is long and tiring since the Palace is nestled precariously upon the flattened apex. How people ever managed to construct such an enormous building in such an inaccessible place is a mystery she contemplates briefly as she trudges up the path. Soon enough, though, she is laboring with each step, cutting off any trivial thoughts to focus on pushing herself up the incline.

 

 _Red's training_ _is_ _not helping so much now_ , she says to herself, macabre wish floating through the back of her mind that she’d prefer a less arduous path to her own execution.

 

To Regina’s astonishment she does not encounter a single patrol on the way up, though the heavy fetid smell of dark magic increasingly permeates the air as she nears the crest. With the Queen’s magic surrounding the entire perimeter around the castle, it is in all likelihood unnecessary for patrols to canvass the area. After all, only a fool or a maniac would dare to approach the castle with the stench of foul magic lingering everywhere, for such a sign is a universal warning that what awaits ahead is not worth the risk to satisfy a wild curiosity.

 

In all, passing the road requires traveling nearly three miles, for it winds up the mountain like a snake, catching whatever natural pathways were most easily utilized for construction. By the time Regina has finally reached the end, she has to bend over at the waist to pant for breath. She allows herself only a minute to regather herself before straightening to glare at the massive set of gates before her.

 

Set squarely in the center of a thick stone wall that stands some twelve feet high and which rims the peak of the mountain, the gates of the citadel are ornately crafted from solid plates of steel of unfathomable weight. They are bookended by two monolithic sentry-houses which jut into the air as if spears constructed of abject despair rather than stone. Meanwhile the gate itself, black as onyx, is decorated by the sterling silver crests of the House of White, one upon each side, which are polished to such a high finish that they gleam even in the low light of the waning crescent moon. The effect produced is startling and would be awe-inspiring if it weren’t also so damned frightening.

 

Dread coils up in Regina's gut at the sight of the foreboding barrier, and it begins to churn with terrible anticipation. A feeling of impending doom settles into her chest right along with an increasing desire to vomit.

 

“This is it,” she breathes, taking in the sight for one last time. Her journey is nearly over. Beyond her own demise, he cannot say for certain what lies beyond the threshold of the gates. But awareness of her impending death, which will assuredly be agonizing, does not change her course. To save Red it is what must happen, and besides, there are no literally no other options available to her she can see or else she would have taken them. No, she will leave this place triumphant and alive with Red at her side or she will not leave at all.

 

Clenching her eyes shut, Regina takes in a deep, steadying breath and prepares herself as best she can for the inevitable confrontation. It is time to be brave. With so much hanging in the balance, failure is not an option. If she were to falter in this most critical hour, Red would surely suffer indignities from which she would never recover, and that is something Regina cannot abide. She would never be able to live with herself knowing her cowardice cost Red a chance, however slim, to heal from her trauma and live out the rest of her life normally.

 

With her resolve back in place, Regina opens her eyes and fixes them on the impressively menacing edifice beyond the gated wall where, within its darkened bowels, the Queen awaits. She is determined not keep her former step-daughter in suspense for long.

 

“Snow!” she shouts at the top of her lungs, listening with vague interest as her voice carries in the cool evening air and echoes off the stone and steel comprising every structure within the citadel. When nothing happens, she calls again, this time even louder. “Snow White!”

 

This time, Regina's calls are answered by a flurry of activity. Firstly the doors of the Palace are thrust open to reveal a company of Black Knights, who flood into the courtyard and swiftly take up positions on either side of the paved stone pathway leading up to the inverse trapezoidal porch of the castle. Once in position, they still at attention, stiff, unmoving, and vacant of free will as if puppets or statues or automatons at the beck and call of their evil mistress.

 

Several tense moments pass by in stalemate during which sweat starts to form at Regina's brow and at the back of her neck. Her nerves itch and tingle with the warring compulsions to flee or to fight. She tenses her muscles, bringing herself to her full height as if proud and unafraid – which is accurate in at least one instance. Regina has always been a proud woman, but right now she is as afraid as she has ever been in her life.

 

A moment later, the stillness is broken by a burst of magic, followed by a cloud of purple that swirls within the opened doorway. When it dissipates, the Queen is revealed in all her malevolent glory, resplendent in a blood red dress with black fringes that are decorated by diamonds interwoven with fine silver-threaded filigree. With slow, measured steps, she descends the stairs and then walks down the path towards the gate. The Knights turn to face her as she moves, saluting her with their swords and then swiveling back into their original positions only after their potentate has passed by.

 

When the Queen at last reaches the gates that bar entrance to the palace, she waves her hand, flinging them open with her magic. Not a step is missed as she approaches Regina, her skirts swirling and swishing with a dramatic flair.

 

Regina notes that a small cadre of soldiers lingers at the Queen’s back, including a wan looking Charming. Regina tenses at the sight of him much as he does her. Their eyes meet for the briefest of moments and in his tortured blue ones she can make out nothing but self-loathing and hatred for the monstrous woman who has forced him to commit innumerable and unspeakable acts. Regina doesn’t even want to consider what he has been made to do beyond Red.

 

Hoping that he can recognize the pity she feels for him, she gives him a weak smile. If it were possible, she would tell him plainly that she does not blame him for what happened to Red, for he is as much Snow's victim as anyone. With the Queen hovering so close by, however, she cannot risk voicing her sympathy. And furthermore she senses that it would very likely be impossible to convince him of his relative innocence.

 

Although Charming is a virtual stranger to Regina, he seems the sort of fellow who is prone to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, the kind that guilt will gnaw away at until it destroys him from the inside out, which is the last thing Regina wants. That Charming had raped Red is an indisputable fact but so is his literal lack of choice in the matter. There is no ill will for him as far as she is concerned, and to be frank, she would very much welcome the opportunity to free him of his real though invisible and highly metaphorical chains.

 

When his eyes crinkle just ever-so-slightly at the corners and a small but grateful smile crosses his lips, Regina understands that he has perceived her good will. She is glad of it.

 

“Well, well, I never thought I'd see the day,” crows the Queen as she circles Regina and inspects her in an unsettling way, much as she had Red two days prior before ordering her punishment. “Yet here you are, surrendering of your own volition. It's like my birthday and Yule all rolled up into one beautiful and admittedly shapely gift. I almost feel as if I should pinch myself to make sure it's real.” Pausing, the Queen leans in to the stage whisper the next words right into Regina's face. “But I know this is real if only by Red’s pathetic and incessant whimpering of your name over the past two days.”

 

At the mention of Red's name, Regina’s hatred slips loose from its bridle. “Don't you dare speak her name! Monsters like you are unworthy of it!” Surging forward, she pushes Snow away, and when the Queen stumbles Charming leaps forward out of compulsion to secure her. The guards spring into action at the assault, raising their weapons and pointing them in Regina’s direction.

 

Instead of becoming enraged, however, the Queen merely waves her soldiers off and shrugs out of Charming's hold. Unperturbed, she reclaims her spot ensconced within Regina's personal space.

 

“You really do love her, don't you?” she sings tauntingly. “I have to confess to finding that very sweet. Pointless, but sweet just the same.”

 

Regina doesn’t bother to conceal her loathing as she ignores Snow’s commentary. “I want to see her. Before I die, I want to see her. You owe me that.”

 

“Owe you?” the Queen barks out, her visage darkening as anger colors her cheeks and neck. “I owe you nothing! It is you who owes me, Regina, and that is why you are here.” Stepping back, Snow smooths a hand over her dress and breaths deeply as if to compose herself. “Yet, because I am feeling so very satisfied right now, I will grant your request. Follow me.”

 

Regina is surprised at the concession, but does not argue as Snow turns in place and begins the short journey back toward the castle.

 

“Are you not going to bind her?” Charming asks the Queen, expressing confusion for more than the Queen’s strangely accommodating mood.

 

The Queen pauses in place at his question and looks back over her shoulder, her eyes heavy and dark. “I've no need,” she replies as if the answer should be obvious. “She poses no threat to me. I have magic and I have Red, which is all the leverage required to neutralize this particular little thorn in my side. There is nothing left for her to do now but die with dignity if she is capable, as she well understands. She will comply without a fight. Now, come along, pet.”

 

Resuming her walk, the Queen sets a steady pace once Charming falls in behind her. Regina follows reluctantly. The temptation to string an arrow and unleash it at Snow’s back eats away at her resolve to remain submissive, but ultimately she recognizes Snow’s assumption to be correct. There really is no need for shackles. As powerful a sorceress as the Queen is, Regina has no hope of killing her. Even if she could, she wouldn’t for Red’s sake alone, as there is no telling what Snow has ordered her men to do to Red were she to perish unexpectedly. Regina cannot take a chance that something truly horrendous might happen to Red only because she couldn’t suppress her murderous rage.

 

Dispirited by the hopelessness of that truth, Regina follows Snow and Charming. Cast in their looming shadows, she feels smaller than her old friend Jiminy, though she does not allow her lack of confidence to show. Years of living under a constant threat of violence – both spoken and unspoken – from her own mother have taught Regina to remain passive in the most dire of circumstances.

 

Once inside the castle, the Queen leads the small party (which aside from herself, Charming, and Regina includes five burly guards that linger no more than five steps behind at any given moment) through a series of hallways. Though over time they have been tinted by the shadowy magic the Queen so effectively practices, Regina is still familiar with the route to the throne room.

 

It seems evident that Snow is in no mood to rush her fun, for she takes her time maneuvering through the hallways. Her hips sway and her hands gesticulate in a happy rhythm set to her incessant humming. The tune has Regina suddenly flashing back to her early days as Snow’s step-mother, a time in which she’d felt helplessly besieged by changes forced upon her rather than chosen.

 

Back then, Snow would hum to herself almost constantly, always chipper no matter how gloomy the day. Many times Regina had chastised the young princess for such thoughtless and inappropriate displays of emotion, when in reality Snow’s never-ending optimism had simply grated on her nerves. Now, as if fate were rubbing her nose in her own callousness, she finds herself wishing for those days to return if only so that Snow’s irritating cheerfulness would replace the eerie humming that sends shivers screwing down her spine.

 

In all it takes two minutes longer to reach the throne room than it should have, what with Snow’s frequent stops to compliment her bewildered staff, who all seem more fearful than relieved at the genuine smile plastered upon their monarch’s face. Regina doesn’t blame them for their apprehension. It should be paradoxical that joy can be frightful, but Snow’s is, for it springs from a well of hatred in her heart that is carefully maintained and constantly resupplied. Snow’s happiness is malefic and warped and it makes her seem even more insane than she already is.

 

Upon reaching the throne room, the Queen throws the doors open with her magic as per usual and then sashays triumphantly down the gilded carpet laid down the center. The room is empty save for the small company following in her wake, but a pall hangs in the air that gives Regina the feeling of countless eyes fixed upon her.

 

Already unsettled by her circumstances, her disquiet somehow manages to deepen as she nears the dais upon which Snow gracefully ascends to take her place upon her throne. Charming halts at the base until his Queen is seated, after which she gestures to her left for him to take his place standing at her side. The silent command is immediately obeyed.

 

Regina, for her part, remains stiff and as emotionless as she can be considering the circumstances. Of all the ways she had thought to die, this is the scenario she had most feared. She knows that Snow will take her time, that the pain will be drawn out in such a manner that Regina will inevitably beg for death. The human will to resist can only withstand so much torment before it reaches critical mass, and though her threshold is high, an agony the like of which she cannot imagine awaits her. She has no doubt that before her life is extinguished she will be broken in body, mind, and spirit alike.

 

Still, she does not regret her choice even for an instant. If this is the price she must pay to restore cosmic balance from some debt incurred by relishing the incalculable joy that Red has given her, it is worth it. A thousand such deaths would not be too many to die for having loved that woman one minute.

 

Snow takes a deep breath once Charming settles in place standing an arm’s length to Queen’s left.  “Well,” she says, joy from earlier having shifted into deadly calm, “it took many years to see this day, but the time of my long awaited revenge is at hand,”

 

In a flash of recognition, Regina understands that her time on earth is drawing to a close more swiftly than she had thought. All ceremony has been set aside for this event. What is happening now is mere formality. There is no crowd to witness the proceedings as she had predicted. There will be no opportunity for her to argue her case in vain. She has been convicted _in absentia_ , and rather than make a grand spectacle of her death, Snow is eager to get down to business.

 

Tears prick at Regina’s eyes, but she refuses to let them fall. _Stay strong_ , she tells herself in an attempt to bolster her suddenly sapped courage. _Don’t give her the satisfaction of breaking so soon. Resist your fear. Endure the pain. Retain your pride. Make mother proud._

 

Her attempt is moderately successful until Snow smiles. Those piercing eyes, once green as a pristine forest canopy, have turned nearly black as they settle upon Regina, who shudders imperceptibly. Where once she’d believed her own mother to be the incarnation of evil, she now realizes how very wrong she was. Cora was a callous woman capable of great meanness, but Snow seems to thrive on the darkness, as if it emanates from her pores because she, herself, is the source of it. For a woman with such an innocent looking face, the effect this malignity produces is profoundly disturbing.

 

“Regina, daughter of Henry and Cora,” the Evil Queen then declares, her voice echoing out into the stuffy emptiness of the spacious room, “your crimes against this kingdom and your Queen have been well documented. Among them are banditry, theft, treason, coercion and murder. As your sovereign Queen, I hereby sentence you to death. Have you any last words?”

 

“Yes, I do,” Regina answers, speaking boldly in spite the trembling present in her hands. In the face of death, fear fades to the background.

 

Unexpectedly she has discovered a preparedness to die she’d been previously unaware of – not that she has any desire to die. On the contrary, she very much wants to live out that wonderful life she’d discussed with Red some days ago. But the time for saving herself expired the moment Red appeared as Snow’s captive in that accursed mirror. Now all that matters is seeing Red safe; it is Regina’s only remaining goal in life and the one thing aside from her own pride she refuses to allow Snow to take from her.

 

The Queen nods at hearing Regina’s response with an impressive display of respectfulness. “Very well. Say your peace.”

 

“What happened to James was a terrible accident,” Regina begins, and is sickly satisfied when Snow tenses from head to toe and grinds her jaw angrily. “I also realize that nothing I can say now will take away the pain of that loss. Remember, I too lost the one I loved.” For a moment she thinks Snow will interject to argue against their similarities, but propriety wins out in the end so that she remains silent if not visibly infuriated. “That said, I want it known that all I’ve done after was simply to survive, and I make no apologies for that. As for Red, I will say what I must to her and not to you. I’ve given you what you want, Snow, now give me what I want. Let me see her one last time.”

 

“Awfully presumptuous for a woman condemned to die,” Snow sneers, and yet she does not immediately deny the request. Instead, she nods once. “You are right, however. You have indeed given me what I want, so I will grant you this boon, but not out of mercy. I want you to witness what your death is going to do to her so that your suffering is complete.” She then inclines her head toward the guards posted by the door. “Have the prisoner brought in.” The guard salutes and then exits, disappearing down the hall and out of sight.

 

Regina listens intently to the rattling of his mail armor and the thud of his boots until it fades away. She tries not to dwell on Snow’s reasoning for the concession, knowing that doing so will only add to her misery. Still, it is difficult to not recognize the truth in what was said. Red may not understand Regina’s sacrifice and most definitely will not accept it. In fact, there is a distinct possibility that Red will, in time, hate Regina for what she’s done, which adds no small amount of grief to her already impressively full plate.

 

In the end, though, the matter is an exchange of futures, Red’s for hers, and to Regina it seems a fair one even if won’t to her more impetuous and emotional lover. No matter what Red thinks, this sacrifice makes too much sense if it allows for Red to live on and to someday find love again and then go on to build that big, happy family Regina knows she desires with all of her heart.

 

Since the day Regina admitted to herself that she was in love with Red, she has known it might come to this, has known she might one day be called upon to make a choice between herself and Red. Not for a second has there been a question as to her choice, for she will always choose Red over herself. Always. But the causes for her decision are not quite so simple as that.

 

While it is beyond doubt that the world will persist long after both of their deaths, Regina is objectively certain in her conviction that it will be left worse off for Red’s. Too much goodness and love and compassion of the sort that cannot be replaced would disappear from the world along with Red. On the other hand, it will not be so bereft at being deprived of Regina’s presence, especially considering that she is nothing more than a disgraced Queen, an ignoble bandit, and a woman who has squandered far too much of her time worrying about things that mean nothing in the grand scheme of existence.

 

Simple arithmetic informs Regina that Red’s life is worth far more than hers, and that alone provides reason enough for her to lay down her life without the added justification that she simply cannot fathom living without Red. She has already lost too much. First Daniel, then her father...losing Red would be too much for her to bear. Admittedly it is ultimately a selfish reason amidst clearly rational ones, but isn’t a dying woman allowed a moment of selfishness before she is snuffed out forever as if a candle exposed to a sudden breeze?

 

The rattling of chains in the near distance snaps Regina out of her morbid thoughts, and she turns her head up to focus on the yet open doorway. As the sound of the chains grows nearer, it is joined by the scuffing of booted feet. Heart in her throat and her eyes burning with moisture, Regina watches for Red to appear.

 

No more than ten seconds later, a guard rounds the corner and steps into the room. Behind him, a bedraggled woman shuffles in, hemmed in by a second guard who is holding a chain joined to an iron collar about her neck. A series of mottled bruises and jagged cuts line the pale flesh of her forearms, her skirts are tattered and torn, and her brown hair is a shaggy, tangled mess that conceals her visage from sight.

 

After moving into the room, the guard behind tugs at the chain about her neck, causing her to flinch and raise her head, revealing her face at last. Smudged with dirt and grime and sporting a bruised cheek and cut lip, Red is nonetheless easily recognizable and so very beautiful that Regina aches at the sight of her. As she stares, she battles against a desperate desire to rush over for one final embrace.

 

“Regina?”

 

Red’s voice reveals no confusion or surprise upon catching sight of Regina, only a grief that plunges to the hilt into Regina’s chest. Not another word passes as Red is lead forcefully down the isle, a damaged bride being escorted to a condemned bridegroom. As she draws close, the guards halt her progress, bringing her to a stop short of Regina’s position. Even so Red’s hands reach out in a fruitless attempt to make physical contact with Regina, chains clanging as she moves, and Regina reflexively does the same.

 

“No touching,” Snow orders, and Regina turns back to glare hatefully at the cause of all of her miseries.

 

“I’m soon to die. Why can I not touch the woman I love one last time?”

 

“Because I said so,” Snow replies, callous and intractable.

 

Regina begins to issue a scathing response, but is cut short by Red’s own plea.

 

“Regina, stop! It’s okay. Just look at me.” Regina reluctantly returns her gaze to Red, who now is, of all things, gently smiling. Her face is already stained with a line of tears that cut a swath through the grime upon her cheeks. So as to not further grieve Red, Regina attempts a smile, though she’s sure it doesn’t reach her eyes. Red pretends to brighten anyway. “There’s my plucky bandit. I’m so glad to see you.”

 

Regina chokes out a laugh around a sob. “And I you, my fairy wolfmother.”

 

“I’d ask what you’re doing here, but I already know,” Red then says, false cheer giving way to a soul-crushing melancholy that shames Regina down to her core.

 

The truth in Snow’s earlier assertion quite viciously slaps Regina in the face. By Red’s reaction, she can now see that her imminent death will destroy her lover perhaps more thoroughly than she’d been by Daniel’s. But there is nothing Regina can do now to remedy the situation. All that is left for her is to cling to her belief that Red is stronger than she was when facing the similarly tragic circumstances, and that this will not break her permanently.

 

Though she wants to hide her face in her shame, Regina gives Red the respect she deserves by holding her gaze as she utters a half-hearted apology. “I’m sorry. I had to.”

 

Red’s smile reappears at that, dimmed but present all the same. “I know, and I love you so much for it.” The smile fades quickly though as her tears begin to fall faster and her chin begins to quiver. “But I don’t want you to die. What am I supposed to do without you, huh?”

 

“You go on,” Regina replies as sternly as she is able considering that her heart is breaking right along with Red’s. “You honor my memory by picking up the pieces of that incredible heart of yours. It’s so strong and resilient enough to recover from this – I know it is, I’ve felt it beating beneath my cheek, heard it in my ear. You can survive this, Red, and find love again. I have to believe that.”

 

Red shakes her head vehemently as she cries out. “Well, you’re wrong ‘cause I can’t! Don’t you know by now that the moment I saved your life I stopped living for myself? I live for _you_ , Regina. My heart beats for _you_. If being without you is my future, then I don’t want to live at all!”

 

“Which is what makes my triumph all the more delicious,” Snow interjects before Regina can give voice to her horror at Red’s statement. There is a devilish smirk present on her lips, lending emphasis to her comment.

 

The amusement Snow is deriving from this would have infuriated Regina had she not already been torn open and her guts spilled out by Red’s earnest declaration. Fear paralyzes her. She’d never stopped to consider the possibility that Red would not wish to survive her death. It seems an absurd notion that anyone could love her that much, not to mention someone she considers so pure and lovely and perfect as she does Red.

 

But now Regina feels foolish and blind as there is no doubt in her mind as to whether or not her distraught lover believes what she’d said; Red does, and to the very depths of her soul. Knowing this leaves Regina to wallow wretchedly in her failure, for in her haste to save Red’s life, she has only succeeded in condemning them both.

 

“This way I kill two birds with one stone,” Snow continues, ignorant of Regina’s anguished revelation. “My nemesis will die by my hand and leave my traitorous friend with no other recourse but to limp away mortally wounded and curl up in a dank cave somewhere to die of a broken heart. The justice of it all is quite poetic really. That said,” Snow then gestures to Charming, who begins to descend the dais, “the time for talk is over. Bring her to me.”

 

The command elicits a growl from Red, who jerks against her chains and the guards who hold her fast. Her struggles are to no avail. All of her wolfen strength is wasted due to the silver infusing her bonds.

 

For Regina’s part, she does not fight as Charming grasps her elbow overly tight and then forcibly guides her up the steps. She does, however, manage to say her goodbye.

 

“I love you, Red,” she begins as Charming reaches her, and though Red’s protests are searing blades cutting down to the marrow, she does not deter. There is no further time for regrets. “Remember that when I’m gone. Remember how beautiful our time together was, and never forget that it was worth it to me. It was worth it, Red!”

 

“Regina, no! Please! Please, don’t, Snow! Please, I’ll do anything!”

 

Red’s cries permeate Regina’s being, but still she stands tall with her shoulders squared, jaw set, and her legs planted proudly before her judge, jury, and executioner. Refusal to die with indignity in front of Red reinforces her spine, serving as the strength from which she draws to face the brutality sure to come.

 

“I’m ready,” she tells Snow, unshakeable now in the face of death. She grunts when Charming kicks out her knees, and again when she lands heavily upon them on the next to last step. The impact jars her kneecap painfully, but she merely winces and then quickly collects herself, determined to keep her composure to the end just like her mother taught her. It is perhaps the only time she is truly grateful for the hellish years her mother put her through. She has plenty of experience being on her knees in front of monsters.

 

Snow stands upon seeing Regina put in such a vulnerable position of submission, and as she moves forward she ignores Red’s shouts and screams and pointless attempts to escape the iron grip of the guards. She stops before Regina to loom over her prey, eyes crazed and appearing especially demented now that she is caught up wholly in the ecstasy of revenge.

 

“We’ll see about that,” she retorts, menace in her voice, and then extends her hand after igniting it with living fire. But before she can set it upon Regina’s forehead to burn away the flesh there, a commotion from just down the hallway reaches them. Snow stops abruptly and turns frenzied eyes onto the guards. “What the hell is going on?!”

 

The guards scramble out the doors, but seconds later go flying past, shields and swords clattering upon the floor. To Regina’s utter disbelief, a blonde-haired woman comes rushing through, followed by none other than Hook and young Henry.

 

“Stop!” the blonde (evidently Henry’s mother, Emma, ‘The Savior’) cries, horrified by what she is seeing. “Stop it, Mom!”

 

Snow’s eyes narrow hatefully. “ _You_! How did you escape my prison on the island?”

 

“Hook and I saved her, Grandma,” Henry says with his typically sunny view on life. To say that she is glad to see him is a gross understatement, though her mind is boggled that he’d referred to Snow as his grandmother.

 

“Aye,” Hook adds, “we had to...disable the guard, but she didn’t pose much of an obstacle. Your security has grown lax, your Majesty.”

 

Snow growls with displeasure. “I always knew that whelp Lily would turn out to be a disappointment just like her overgrown lizard of a mother. No matter.” Now focused on the newcomers, she gives Regina a heated glance. “I’ll deal with you after I dispatch these insects,” and then she flicks her wrist, flinging Regina away.

 

As she impacts the far wall, Regina hears several unified shouts of dismay, but her hearing fades the instant her head connects with the unforgiving stone wall.

 

She isn’t sure how long she is unconscious, but when she comes to it is to the nearby whooshing of magical spells being cast in concert with the cacophonous clanging of metal upon metal. It with great difficulty that she peels her eyes open, but when she does, she notices through blurry vision that the Savior is embroiled in a magical duel with the Queen, and is holding the incredibly powerful sorceress to a virtual stalemate. Seconds pass as Regina’s haze clears during which she sweeps over the disaster area that is the throne room.

 

Bodies of dozens of guards litter the area, among them the corpse of a man Regina has never seen; his black hair is singed, large eyes opened wide with shock at falling victim to a well-placed fireball that tore through his chest, leaving only a smoldering hole where his heart should have been. Regina instantly recognizes the wound as Queen’s handiwork.

 

Meanwhile to the right of Emma and Snow’s duel, Hook is trading bladed parries with Charming. Regina dimly notes they seem of equal skill with the sword, which is much to her surprise considering she’d heard Charming was a farm boy before being enslaved. He is acquitting himself well, but then so is Hook, who appears to be thoroughly enjoying himself as he banters back and forth with the Queen’s unwilling pet.

 

By the time Regina’s eyes sweep over to the left side of the room, her senses have largely returned. But upon spotting the activity upon the nearby dais, she suddenly springs alert. There upon the dais Red is fending off attackers with well-placed kicks and heaved blows from her manacled hands. At her feet lay Henry, his book opened face down, pages bent beneath its weight. Regina tries to stand, at once frantic to reach her lover and the young boy who has against all odds convinced her to believe in him. Her first few attempts are unsuccessful, and on the third, she manages to pull herself upright only to stumble back against the wall.

 

As she regathers herself, a shout from Emma arrests her attention. “Ruby! Look out!”

 

Because of her encounter with Henry, Regina recognizes the strange name as belonging to Red, so she focuses once more on her lover just in time to see her be knocked to the ground by a shield blow to the shoulder. As Red was fighting, the soldier who struck her had flanked her unseen, and now she is face down and helpless, having been discombobulated by the fall. Everything for Regina slows to a crawl so that events in the proceeding moments happens as if in the blink of an eye.

 

First Henry shoves the soldier aside before he can fatally stab Red, and then as the soldier stumbles, Red pounces on him, biting at his neck with her teeth. His death is grisly enough that Henry looks away, shielding his eyes from the gore, which means he doesn’t see the archer in the doorway of the throne room until his arrow is about to be loosed at Red’s back. Regina knows what is going to happen before it does.

 

With inhuman speed, she shouts and springs forward, crossing a space that should have taken her seconds with such velocity that she arrives in time to intercept the arrow. It plunges into her chest, digging past her ribcage to lodge deep in her lung. She falls limply to the ground against the background of noise, and almost immediately starts to feel her essence fading as blood pours out from her wound. Her vision blurs once again as Henry hovers over her, his mouth moving but no sounds coming out. Strangely enough, she can still hear Emma’s roar of rage, followed by a burst of magic and a loud thud. Immediately after, a whoosh of wind passes through the room which initiates the loud slamming of the doors.

 

Soon after, Regina sees Emma in her periphery as well, and she too is speaking words that cannot be deciphered by ear or eye. Everything is becoming rapidly grainy as if she is now seeing the world through a muddied window, and all she can hear is the slowing thud of her yet-beating heart.

 

Upon shifting her eyes a bit, Regina notices Red’s stricken visage looming over Henry’s shoulder. Her lover’s face is a bloody mess, but she has never been more beautiful to Regina, who tries to smile and reach with her hand to touch her beloved’s damp cheek.

 

“I did it,” she forces out around gurgles of blood, which she is dimly aware to be pooling in her lungs and suffocating her to death. She knows instinctively that she does not have long.

 

In that moment, however, clarity comes over her like a clarion bell ringing over the silent countryside, awakening something within that had been previously dormant. Memories flood her waning consciousness, and she embraces them with the fervor of a woman breathing her last breaths.

 

“I saved you both,” she then says, stammering through the sentence, her eyes flitting between Henry and Red ( _Ruby_ , she corrects, relishing the way the name sounds even if only in her head), both of whom are weeping and begging her to hold on. “My son and my Ruby. My reasons for everything. I can...” she shudders out a wet breath, “rest now.”

 

And with that, Regina closes her eyes, heedless of the wailing that begins to emanate from Ruby or the pleading of Henry and Emma, strangers an hour ago, but now at the end, family. They will all live, and that is all that matters to Regina.

 

She drifts into oblivion with a smile on her face, proud that with her final act, she has done something good and selfless and heroic, something she can be remembered by to supplant all the cruel, unforgivable crimes she’d perpetrated as the Evil Queen. In death, she has achieved absolution, and she embraces it with her final thought.

 

All beyond that is darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I somehow incorrectly scheduled the releases of chapters so that I'll need to post 2 today and finish up tomorrow. Sorry about that. The other one should be up tonight, maybe latish, but definitely tonight.
> 
> This chapter was maybe my favorite to write. I don't know why. I loved the showdown between Evil Snow and Hero/Bandit Regina, where Regina has only her wits and her bravery to sustain her through what must be an incredibly stressful situation while Snow is in total control yet vacillates between this serenity and the batty insanity that so defines the Evil Queen. I enjoyed building up the tension of the moment, starting at Regina's arrival in the village, and working her way up the mountain, then standing before the gates of the Palace, as if her fear and dread rise in concert with her ascension.
> 
> I also wanted to get in a second mention that Regina does not blame Charming and recognizes that he is as much Snow's victim as Red, which is important, I think. Those who are made powerless in a situation and then manipulated into committing crimes are guilty in a sense, but in a larger one they are innocent of one of the biggest factors in severity of a crime: intent. I don't think Regina could have rightly felt heroic at the end if she had gone to her death hating Charming along with Snow.
> 
> Another point is that I don't recall whether Emma had access to her magic on the show, but I needed her to here to occupy Evil!Snow while Regina saved Red's life. If anyone can refresh my memory, that would be great. But even if she didn't have magic on the show, it makes more sense that she would since magic is readily available for use in the Enchanted Fauxrest. She is the Savior, after all, and her Savior-magic protected her from having her mind wiped and her memories replaced with Heller/Rumple's false narrative.
> 
> Anyway, lastly I hope the reunion between Red and Regina was satisfactory. It was bittersweet to write knowing what was going to happen, but I wanted to be clear about the perseverance of their love. And I also needed an excuse to drop my favorite plucky bandit/fairy wolfmother references from the girls. 
> 
> Next chapter later. Hopefully I have enough energy to include some notes, 'cause it's an important one. Dunno though. Been a lot of late nights finishing and editing this story in time.
> 
> Whatever the case, catch y'all later.


	8. The Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter here, but it begins to deal with the aftermath of events in the other world. Quite a bit of angst and some really fluffy comfort, then some more angst. Enjoy! 
> 
> Warnings only for mentions of what Ruby went through and what Regina did Graham.

" _Well, I close my eyes /_ _R_ _emove each piece of armor one by one / Inhale this moment deep into my lungs / Make amends for all I've done_ " - "Permission" by Sixx A.M.

* * *

 

 **Chapter 7** – The Fallout

 

Regina regains consciousness slowly. In her ample confusion at not being dead, she clutches at the area of her chest that had been pierced by an arrow. But instead of finding the deadly dart that had ended her life, her gloved hands encounter only the pristine fabric of her purple dress. Recognition dawns quickly and she sits up with a gasp as her eyes take in the familiar scenery. She is no longer in the Dark Palace, but back inside the cozy confines of her little town of Storybrooke.

 

While the memories she has gained from the false life given to her in _Heroes & Villains_ linger in the forefront of her mind like a translucent cloud that will never fully dissipate, she presses them away upon sensing a presence standing at her side. She looks up to see her son, storybook in hand, eyes crinkled with happiness.

 

“Hi, Mom.”

 

Regina blinks owlishly at him as events continue to settle into their rightful place in her head. “Henry?” When his grin intensifies, a rush of affection surges through her along with a burst of energy. She scrambles to her feet, dignity be damned, to hug him. With her son safely ensconced in her arms, Regina is flooded with relief, and she allows herself to luxuriate in it. “You did it,” she whispers, hugging him even tighter.

 

“No. _We_ did it,” he gently corrects, returning the embrace in that awkward way of a teenage boy that she is learning to adore.

 

“We all did.”

 

Although the voice from their right interrupts the tender moment between mother and son, it is not at all unwelcome. Regina instantly recognizes the smooth timbre as belonging to the second most important person in her life. Her heart begins thudding almost painfully inside her chest.

 

After separating from Henry, she shifts to find Ruby standing with Emma, both women wearing matching grins of their own. Henry immediately rushes to his blonde mother while Regina stands stock still and unable to move as she unashamedly drinks in the vision that is a pristine Ruby Lucas returned to her tight white uniform top and red hot pants.

 

“Hey there, hot stuff,” Ruby greets, sheepish under Regina’s intensely appraising gaze. She is a living, breathing miracle to Regina, so beautiful and whole and unsullied just like Henry had promised.

 

Words escape Regina at that moment, and for a woman who takes pride in her deft mastery of language, it is an embarrassing lapse of decorum. Still, she can’t find it in herself to care about her lack of eloquence when Ruby right in front of her within arms reach and overflowing with love that is all hers for the taking. Tears prick at her eyes, and though she fights against them out of instinct, a few rebellious drops refuse to cooperate.

 

“Aw, don’t cry,” Ruby says, slinking forward to gently grasp Regina’s face with both hands. Her thumb brushes away the stray tears that have escaped from the dam of Regina’s eyelids. She leans in to kiss Regina’s forehead reassuringly. “I’m here,” she murmurs against slightly chilled skin, “I’m okay. Everything is okay.”

 

“Is it really?” Regina asks doubtfully as she folds into Ruby’s arms, body shuddering like a leaf in an autumn gale as Ruby wraps her up securely.

 

Memories of the vast backgrounds supplied in the false version of the Enchanted Forest are fading rapidly into the background; yet they are still fresh enough that recollections of certain horrific things that happened there wade back to the surface. One specific event is preeminent among them, and Regina can hardly grasp how Ruby can seem so unaffected when they are tearing her apart from the inside.

 

Ruby takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before giving her answer. “We’re alive and together. Nothing else matters.”

 

The response is incredibly simplistic, which deeply concerns Regina. She knows from experience that the worst way to deal with trauma is to bury it and she does not want Ruby to repeat her mistakes. But at the same time, she gets the feeling that Ruby isn’t feigning ignorance but rather genuinely doesn’t recall what happened to her in that other world, or if she does, she has intentionally blocked out those that are too traumatizing. As Regina pulls away, she prays this is the case, as Ruby never remembering is unarguably the best case scenario for them both.

 

Staring directly into Ruby’s vibrant jade eyes, Regina grasps for her girlfriend’s hands and grips them tightly. Everything else disappears save herself and Ruby as if they are now alone in a town occupied by thousands. That there may be prying eyes upon them does not enter into the equation for Regina, lost as she is in her love for the woman before her. Released from restraint by what they have just been through and in the light of being so wondrously _alive_ , the vitality of maintaining her reputation has lost its shine.

 

Dying, even if only within the confines of a fictional story, has awakened Regina to the fragile nature of life, and that she cannot afford to take it or the people she loves for granted ever again.

 

“I love you,” she declares with uncharacteristic sentimentality, and when Ruby’s lips stretch wide at hearing those words, Regina’s follow suit. “If this ordeal has taught me anything, it’s just how much.”

 

Ruby nibbles her lip coquettishly. “Oh? How much is that?”

 

Fishing for compliments is not unusual for Ruby, which serves as another source of relief for Regina. It is not beneath Ruby to show up for a date in some sexy ensemble only to blush and bite her lip just as she’s doing now because she, “wasn’t sure what to wear.” Once she apologized profusely for choosing a certain dress because she claimed she didn’t look good in it, but “it was all that was clean, so if you don’t want to go out now, I’d understand.” While Regina is aware of what Ruby is doing, she seldom misses out on an opportunity to indulge her girlfriend’s vanity since it is one of her few negative traits.

 

She chuckles as she releases one of Ruby’s hands to play with a loose brunette curl. Her eyes never stray from Ruby’s as she makes her reply. “More than I ever imagined possible.” And with that, she leans in to join their lips in a kiss inspired by feelings of adoration she cannot even begin to express.

 

Regina savors the ensuing intimacy as long as possible, relishing something she’d thought to never experience again only minutes before. When Ruby tilts her head and parts her lips, Regina breathes deeply through her nose as she threads her arm around a slim waist to draw her taller girlfriend closer. The other hand she tangles into the hair at the back of Ruby’s head, using it to leverage slight enough pressure to deepen the kiss. The little noise of pleasure Ruby makes when Regina introduces her tongue ignites a flame low in Regina’s belly, and she has to exert every ounce of her self-control to not take things farther than they have already gone, which is fairly inappropriate given their audience.

 

Seconds pass, perhaps a minute, maybe even two – Regina is not sure how much, only that she is back home with her precious son and her gorgeous lover and for the moment good has triumphed over evil. That she is currently kissing said lover senseless is the icing on her triumphant cake.

 

But then in the near distance she hears a clattering indicative of booted feet running on pavement. It is followed by a series of shouts, one of which stands out among the rest.

 

“Emma!”

 

The sound of Mary Margaret’s voice pierces through the air as if a supersonic missile that slams straight into Ruby, who stiffens and pulls away from Regina so quickly that Regina nearly stumbles.

 

Eyes wide, she peers at her girlfriend, anxiety mounting by the second. “Ruby?”

 

Regina receives no answer from her shell-shocked girlfriend, whose mouth hangs open in horror, lips forming silent words that refuse to emerge from paralyzed vocal chords. Fat tears bubble up in Ruby’s eyes along with a horror that Regina can only describe as absolute in intensity and terrifying to witness. She doesn’t need to ask what is happening. She knows instinctively that Ruby’s memories of _Heroes & Villains_ are not so buried as she had hoped, and that Mary Margaret’s – Snow’s – voice has triggered them to emerge.

 

Not knowing how to help Ruby, Regina makes a split-second decision to do what she can to diffuse a potentially catastrophic situation. She whirls on the approaching couple, noting that Hook accompanied them and has already scooped Emma up into a kiss while Henry rushes toward his grandparents.

 

“Stop!” she shouts, and is satisfied to see her warning heeded immediately. As Hook sets Emma back down, Mary Margaret and David screech to a halt along with Henry. Both seem every bit as perplexed as Henry. All of them stare back at Regina utterly perplexed. When the Nolans start forward again seconds later, Regina raises her hand and issues another, more stern, command. “I said stop right there! Don’t come any closer.”

 

Regina can feel Ruby shrinking into herself even though she is out of view, and the tell-tale growl that follows indicates Ruby’s nerves are teetering precariously upon the edge of a razor. There is no doubt in Regina’s mind that her girlfriend’s green eyes are now glowing with the ancient power of the wolf, and that with Ruby reeling from the flood of traumatic memories, it will take little provocation to send her plunging over headlong into instinctive action.

 

“What’s going on?” Mary Margaret asks, and the sound of that sweet voice, even absent of its storybook venom, adds a prolonged groan to Ruby’s growling.

 

With her own memories flaring up, Regina glares daggers at her former step-daughter. The insufferably loyal person she has learned to trust these past years mixes in her mind with the blood-crazed lunatic she had hated mere minutes ago, and it is all very disconcerting. With how hard it is for her to reconcile fiction from reality in so tense a moment, she can only imagine how distraught Ruby feels.

 

There is acid in Regina’s voice she only half feels when she answers, “She remembers.” That single sentence is all Regina has to say.

 

The part of her that will forever resist redemption draws a measure of perverse satisfaction as horrible realization dawns upon Mary Margaret, who stumbles backward into her husband’s body. Pale skin turns ghostly white and tortured eyes flit nervously between Regina and Ruby as the meek school teacher internally confronts the barbaric actions she’d perpetrated as the Evil Queen within the false narrative of _Heroes & Villains_.

 

It is both difficult and fascinating for Regina to watch Mary Margaret meltdown over the remembrance of her recently erased atrocities. While her own inner Queen revels in the self-loathing currently written upon the face of her mortal nemesis, the motherly part of her aches alongside the tenderhearted woman she’s come to admire. In the end, however, her better self wins out at the simple wrongness of such a pure of heart being subjected to the millstone sized burden of carrying around those kinds of memories, especially when they are not based in reality. In a way, Mary Margaret is being gas-lighted by her own brain, and Regina feels a surge of protectiveness swell within her breast at anyone besides herself inflicting such torture on poor, innocent Snow White.

 

She starts to speak to offer a word of encouragement, but before she can she catches sight of Charming. By the pinched, haunted expression on David’s face, he is clearly recalling his own part, involuntary as it may be, in scarring the soul of one of his closest friends. Since he considers Ruby a sister to him, it is highly probably to the point of near absolute certainty that he is eviscerating himself for his actions even though he had no control over them. His self-disgust manifests itself by the way he clenches Snow’s shoulders so tightly she is surprised the diminutive woman is not protesting painfully.

 

A choking sound has Regina turning her eyes back to Mary Margaret, who seems smaller than ever before, and for a moment it appears the mousy looking schoolteacher might vomit. But a crushing grief passes over her visage that drives away the nausea.

 

Seeing Mary Margaret in such a state elicits memories of a time in which Regina had been grieving herself. To her surprise, she’d opened her door one day to find a woman fraught with guilt standing before her, the very same woman who had just been used to commit the murder of Regina’s own mother. At the time, hearing Snow White beg to have her heart ripped out and crushed to alleviate her unbearable pain was music to Regina’s ears. But whereas Cora’s death haunted Mary Margaret to the point of breaking her, Regina is concerned that her part in traumatizing her best friend will have consequences that are much farther reaching. It is unlikely she will ever fully forgive herself, and Regina laments the damage that has been done to a friendship that predates both of their current relationships – one of them by over three decades.

 

A gasp from behind Regina arrests her attention, and she swirls to find Ruby bent over at the waist while clawing frantically at her chest. “She wants...out,” she bites out. “She wants...” Ruby pauses, turning up baleful yellow eyes to Mary Margaret, “revenge.”

 

“Calm down, sweetheart,” Regina says, soothing a hand on Ruby’s back. She makes sure to keep herself between her girlfriend and the source of her stress, using her body as a shield between them. “Those memories may seem real, but they aren’t.” A quick but pointed glance at an anguished Mary Margaret is Regina’s way of making sure the other woman knows the message is for her as well. “That didn’t really happen. It was just a story, an illusion, just as my own death was.”

 

Veins in her neck straining and pulsing with every beat of her heart, Ruby leans menacingly toward Mary Margaret, who flinches back with fear. “I don’t...care, and neither...does...she,” she growls and then starts to lunge.

 

With plenty of experience under her belt watching Ruby transform, Regina catches the precise moment – a widening of the eyes, dilation of the pupils, and flaring of the nostrils – that control is surrendered to the alter ego who exists solely to destroy all in her path, and when so inclined protect her kindred human spirit from harm. And now the those disparate desires are perfectly aligned, for to the wolf’s baser perspective, protecting her human means destroying the source of her pain.

 

Regina knows she has no time to reason with Ruby. If allowed to shift she will go on a rampage that will put the lives of everyone in town in jeopardy, which in turn would force Regina’s hand. Unwilling to further harm her victimized lover who has every right to her feelings, she instinctively shouts the activation words to the most powerful sleeping spell in her repertoire. It works instantly, much to her relief, and she only just catches Ruby before she slumps boneless to the ground.

 

Regina wastes no further time in waving her hand over Ruby’s prone form, magicking her into the bed they have only just begun to share on a semi-regular basis. Although she wants nothing more than to be there herself, to curl her body around Ruby’s and hold her until morning, she cannot yet afford such a luxury. She cannot leave Mary Margaret in such a state, particularly not with Emma having been clued in that something is very wrong between her mother and her long-time friend. A curious Savior is bad a thing right now, as the last thing Ruby needs is Emma nosing around, prodding the bear (or wolf in this case), so to speak

 

“I’ve knocked her out and sent her home to bed,” she tells the group now huddled together before her. That she’d referred to her house as Ruby’s home is of no small consequence, but there are more pressing matters to take care of before she can sit down and further analyze that strangely welcome slip of the tongue. “I advise that no one approach her until she’s sufficiently calmed down.”

 

“How long will that be?” Mary Margaret asks, sounding as broken as Regina has ever heard while tears streak down her full cheeks. “She’s s-so... _so_ angry.”

 

“I’ve never seen her like that,” Emma interjects. “What the hell happened? All of the sudden she just went nuts.”

 

Regina can see the wheels turning inside that golden-capped cranium. She mentally pats herself on the back for having the foresight to stick around for explanations.

 

Aloud, she replies, “She didn’t just ‘go nuts’, Miss Swan.” Her reverting to a formal address of Emma is due mainly to her frustration at being apart from Ruby when Ruby needs her the most. “She remembered what happened to her because of that puny piece of human trash, Isaac Heller.” Regina’s only consolation at the moment is that said piece of human trash is stuck in Storybrooke with no where to run. She hopes to get a moment alone with him before Emma locks him up.

 

After hearing Regina’s clarification, Emma’s brows draw together in that way of hers that reminds Regina of a hound catching the scent of a mortally wounded fox, reinforcing her belief that this is something the Savior will not let go.

 

“What exactly did happen?” she asks. “I remember when we arrived at the castle Ruby was in chains and Mary Margaret was about to kill you.”

 

“It’s not my place to tell you, Emma,” Regina answers in an attempt to avoid discussing the situation any more than is necessary, particularly with Henry around. To that end, she purposefully cuts her eyes toward her son in a way Emma quickly and correctly interprets.

 

Emma pats Henry on the shoulder, a patronizing move in Regina’s opinion, then says, “Hey, kid, do us a favor and go check in on Ruby.” As if something has just occurred to her, she glances up at Regina with a perfectly pale brow raised. “She won’t hurt him will she?”

 

Regina shakes her head without thinking twice. She knows that Ruby would never hurt Henry, even with her self-control compromised. “No. He’ll be safe. The wolf perceives him as family, whereas she sees your mother as an enemy at the moment.”

 

Emma seems to accept Regina’s assurance, although Henry apparently does not agree with the suggestion he make himself scarce. “But we just got here!” he protests. “Heller is still on the loose, and I need to check on my grandpa...”

 

“I swear, we will handle all of that after we’re sure you’re safe,” Emma promises.

 

“But…”

 

When Henry begins to resist again, Regina steps in. “Listen to your mother, Henry,” she says. “This is not simply a dismissal. I actually need you to check in on Ruby, not for Emma, but for me. The reason she acted that way is because she was scared, Henry. She is scared and hurt and angry right now, and I don’t want her to be alone when she wakes up. You’re the only one I trust to calm her down if she’s still agitated.  So will you please do this for me?”

 

The argument, while not Regina’s best, works. She breathes a sigh of relief when Henry harrumphs a grudging acceptance of her wishes. Although it comes with the caveat that he be treated less like a kid in the future and more like the young man he is growing to be, the request is reasonable, so Regina grants it. With his approval secured, Emma magicks him to back to Regina’s house.

 

“Alright,” Emma then says, eyes darting back to Regina. “Sensitive ears are no longer among us. Spill. What was that with Ruby just now?”

 

Regina opens her mouth to answer, prepared to tell the truth since Henry is not present to hear it. She is interrupted by Mary Margaret, who cuts her off with a cry.

 

“It was me! I did something awful Emma.” A shiver works its way down Mary Margaret’s petite frame as she shrinks further into Charming’s embrace. “I-I…” She pauses to take a tremulous breath, then relays the truth they all would much prefer to forget. “In that world, I was the Evil Queen as you know, but Ruby was still my closest friend. She was the only person I truly trusted. But then she fell in love with Regina, my enemy, and I found out about it. I...back there, I did things to prisoners...terrible things, but I saved the worst punishments for those close to me who betrayed me.”

 

“Like me,” says David, who rubs Mary Margaret’s arms in a show of support that is indicative of his high character and of his abiding love for his wife. “She had my heart...literally.”

 

Mary Margaret nods despondently. “When I caught Ruby, I contacted Regina on a magic mirror I sent to their monthly meeting place. I had Ruby brought to me and forced your father to r-r...I can’t even say it. Oh, my God. Oh, _God_!” Huge gasping sobs break free as Mary Margaret hides her face behind her hands.

 

“Mom!”

 

Emma rushes quickly over to her mother, kneeling in front of the nearly hysterical woman. She grasps at frail wrists and carefully pries her mother’s hands away from her face. “Mom, look at me,” she commands gently. When Mary Margaret complies, still hiccuping, Emma releases a wrist to wipe some of her mother’s tears away. “Whatever it is, it wasn’t real, just like Regina told Ruby. You didn’t really do those things. So just tell me what happened. I won’t judge you, I promise.”

 

“Tell her, Snow,” Regina says, more harshly than she’d intended judging by Mary Margaret’s wince.

 

“It’s okay, honey. Tell Emma what happened so you can start to let go of it,” David assures, now holding his wife in his arms. Regina can only admire his ability to set aside his own sizable trauma for the sake of his True Love. “Holding it in or denying it will only make things worse.”

 

Mary Margaret wrenches away from his grasp and maneuvers herself between her family and Regina. “How can I do that?” she wails. “How can I let go of these memories? How can I ever forget the countless lives I snuffed out on a whim? Or forcing my own husband to rape my best friend in front of the woman she loves? You’re asking the impossible!”

 

Emma blanches at hearing the awful truth. “Oh...oh, _Jesus_. No wonder Ruby lost it.”

 

“Yes, no wonder,” Regina grits out, still sorting through her latent hatred of the evil version of Snow. “But David is right, Snow,” she then says, crossing over to grasp the frantic woman by her upper arms to still her frenzied pacing. “Snow! Listen to me, dammit! You cannot let this destroy you. As much as it pains me to say this right now, you did nothing wrong. You are as much a victim as we all are.”

 

“Doesn’t feel that way,” Mary Margaret whispers so lowly Regina barely hears.

 

Thoughts suddenly intrude upon Regina that unsettle her to her core, thought of things that she has purposefully avoided dealing with since starting down her personal road to redemption. One thing in particular is rearing its ghastly head, provoked back to life by Mary Margaret’s guilt. And when those disgraceful sins start to creep past the barriers she has kept them locked under since the Curse broke, she scrambles to reinforce them lest her benevolent mood vanish under an avalanche of shame.

 

“I know it doesn’t,” she tells the ailing Mary Margaret after somewhat composing herself. “But that feeling will fade. Take it from someone who chose to do horrific things in real life.” It is a lie in the light of this recent surge of suppressed memories. But only a partial one, she tells herself.

 

“She’s not wrong, Mom,” Emma adds, and Regina internally rolls her eyes at the condescension in that agreement. “You’ll get through this. But right now you need to pull yourself together, if not for yourself, then for your family. Don’t forget you have a son at home who needs you. So go be with him. Focus on Neal for a while, let him anchor you, let him help you get your head on straight while the three of us take care of Heller.”

 

“That’s a good idea, actually,” Regina remarks, earning a glare from Emma that she shrugs off to refocus on Mary Margaret. “Don’t dwell on this too much or it will eat you alive from inside out. You should do as Emma suggests. Go home and hold that precious little boy in your arms and remember all of the blessings in your life. You have so much to be thankful for, Snow. Don’t let that power-tripping literary maniac take it all away from you.”

 

The speech surprisingly does the trick. Mary Margaret straightens up, then sniffles and wipes her tears with her sleeve. She is not the formidable Snow White of old, but she bears a close enough resemblance for now to get her through the coming days.

 

“Okay,” says Mary Margaret after a deep breath. She takes another and then another. “Okay. I’m better now, thank you both. I think I would like to see my son now if you don’t mind, Regina.”

 

“Not at all,” says Regina, managing a small smile, and with a flick of her wrist, she sends Mary Margaret to the loft in a puff of purple smoke.

 

When her mother disappears from view, Emma steps up beside Regina, hands on her hips. She looks focused now, and the information she’s just learned has added an edge to her eyes that has Regina’s blood rushing. The hunt is on.

 

“Now, where do we start looking for Heller?” the Savior inquires, Charming jaw and Snow White chin set in a hard line. “I have a few choice words for him.”

 

“As do I, Emma, as do I,” Regina replies, and she does not have to contemplate possibilities for long. Only one person could have provided Isaac Heller with everything he needed to write _Heroes & Villains_.

 

Openly wearing her rage as motivation, Regina straightens her coat and dons a grin that hearkens back to days when she was a much different person. She needs the Evil Queen for the coming confrontation.

 

“I know exactly where to begin.”

 

* * *

 

When Regina arrives home nearly four hours later, she is bone weary. After securing Isaac Heller and remanding him to a cramped prison sell, alive but a little worse for wear, more problems cropped up that had to be dealt with, namely the Apprentice’s death and the Dark One magic being released from its centuries long host, Rumplestilskin. As it goes with Regina’s tragic luck, it had chosen her as its new vessel. But before she could be claimed by the darkness, the idiotically heroic Savior intervened on her behalf.

 

Now, Emma is the Dark One and has vanished to God knows where, David and Mary Margaret are shattered in more ways than one, and as if that is not reason enough to crawl headlong into a bottle of scotch, Regina has no damn clue as to how even begin fixing the mess that is their lives. Added on top of all that misery is Ruby’s justifiably hysterical reaction to Mary Margaret earlier in the day. Worries are being heaped upon worries for Regina, and at the moment they weigh so heavily on her shoulders that she rather sympathizes with the mythical plight of Atlas.

 

The second she is inside her home, she shucks her heels off and kicks them beneath the little table in the foyer she keeps adorned with one of her favorite vases, too tired to even care about scolding herself for such laziness. Because her feet ache terribly, she pauses for a moment to lean against the wall and massage the soles before padding up the landing.

 

“Hey.”

 

The small feminine voice that calls out from the living room catches Regina by surprise, and she whirls to see Ruby on the couch, half-read book cast aside next to bare legs which are tucked up beneath her. She is dressed only in one of Regina’s Oxford’s, the top three buttons left open, and her hair is arranged in a messy bun. Free of makeup, her face is splotchy but absent of tears, which tells Regina she has been crying recently.

 

“Hey,” Regina replies as she shuffles into the living room. Once at the couch, she carefully kneels in front of Ruby and tugs at shapely calves until Ruby rearranges herself so that she is seated more normally. Regina then pulls at Ruby’s knees until her miserable looking girlfriend scoots closer to the edge of the cushions, hemming Regina in between her long legs. Peering up into sad green eyes, Regina rubs tenderly along the smooth lengths of Ruby’s thighs. “How long were you out?”

 

“About an hour according to Henry,” Ruby replies. “He was sitting by the bed reading when I woke up. It helped seeing him, calmed me down.”

 

Regina smiles at that. She will have to thank Emma later when all of this Dark One mess is resolved. For now, though, she is in mother hen mode. “I’m glad. Did you eat anything?”

 

Ruby nods. “Henry was hungry, so I fixed him a BLT like we make at the Diner. I wasn’t gonna eat anything but he made me.” An affectionate smile forms on Ruby’s lips at that, which only makes Regina’s widen.

 

“That’s my boy,” she comments. “Is he still awake?”

 

“No.” Ruby then scrunches her nose up adorably. “Or at least I don’t think so. After we ate, he told me he was going to tuck in early after he read for a bit. Said he was tired from, and I quote, a very long day. I haven’t heard a peep for the past half hour, so I assume he’s asleep.”

 

“Good, he needs the rest,” Regina replies, then glances down at Ruby’s incredibly appealing legs. She internally muses how much she loves these legs, loves to touch them and kiss them and feel them wrap around her when they are making love. Ruby’s legs are her most famous physical feature for very good reason. When she looks back up, Ruby eyes are twinkling. “I suppose Henry being in bed explains your lack of pants.”

 

“Don’t see you complaining,” Ruby teases.

 

Regina smirks. “Nor will you any time in the near future.” She gives Ruby’s legs another deliberate rub. “I love these legs.”

 

Ruby snorts. “Don’t I know it. Caught you staring enough times during those 28 years of miniskirts and short-shorts.”

 

“Bless that little unexpected detail,” Regina quips mischievously. “That first day we were here, I saw you and Granny arguing outside the Diner. You were dressed in your famous get-up, and I remember thinking, ‘My, my, isn’t this going to be fun?’” Her good humor fades with memories of the months and years that followed. “It turned out to be not quite as wonderful a revenge as I’d thought.”

 

“It wasn’t without its bad times, though,” Ruby says, looking thoughtful. “I got a kickass car out of it and a job I enjoy. I have money in the bank and more than enough food to eat. There were times back in the Old World I went without the basic necessities.”

 

“Ruby...”

 

Ruby stops Regina’s apology with a finger upon her lips. “No, it’s okay. We each have our lot in life. I didn’t choose to be born poor just like you didn’t choose to be born a wealthy noble. We made the best of what we were given, or at least tried to I think.”

 

“Some of us more than others,” Regina adds, expression ridden with guilt.

 

“True,” Ruby smiles, “but in the end I think it all turned out okay. Like I said, we’re here, and I love this town and all of its idiosyncratic craziness. I love my life here. Do you know why?”

 

Enraptured by Ruby’s voice, Regina never loses contact with Ruby’s eyes as she says in dulcet tones, “I do,” and she does. Ruby has given Regina this exact little speech more than once. “But tell me again.”

 

Breathing deeply, Ruby reaches up and starts sifting her fingers through the hair at Regina’s temple. “Because my dream finally came true. After decades of inappropriate fantasies, I finally caught the eye of the hottest Mayor in the good ole’ US of A. And just my luck, she’s even more wonderful than I ever imagined.”

 

Regina leans into Ruby’s touch, a tear rolling down her cheek as she chuckles lightly. “You are such a shameless flatterer.”

 

Ruby doesn’t miss a beat as she untangles her fingers from Regina’s hair to bop her lightly on the tip of the nose. “If by flattery you mean honesty, then I am guilty as charged.” When Regina wiggles her nose in protest at the action, which elicits a grins from Ruby that actually reaches her eyes.

 

Silence falls after that and Regina settles into along with Ruby. They trade loving stares and gentle touches for a bit, enjoying being together again without the sword of Damocles that was Evil Snow hanging over their heads. Eventually, though, Ruby’s eyes stray, grow distant, and Regina is reminded of why she’d come home so burdened in the first place.

 

“How are you?” she poses, already knowing the answer.

 

“Okay, I guess,” Ruby replies around a little sniffle.

 

Regina gives her a look. “Don’t lie. I know you’re not okay.”

 

Ruby sighs as she reaches up to play with the tips of Regina’s hair. “You’re right. I’m not okay. I keep remembering it, hearing Snow’s commands and sensing David step behind me…” as her voice trails off, she shivers and the flesh of her legs pebbles beneath Regina’s fingers. “The dread coils up in my stomach like I’m back there and I can hear you begging and feel him inside me and I know it didn’t really happen but it’s just so _sickening_. After Henry went upstairs I took some Pepto and climbed into the shower to scrub my skin until it was raw, but I just...the dirtiness and nausea won’t go away.” When Ruby’s exposition trails off, that sickness manifests itself through the tightening of her jaw and the way her lips spread into a thin line as dots of sweat appear on her brow.

 

Hearing Ruby describe how she’d felt sends pangs of guilt and anger through Regina’s chest. The anger is easiest to process; it is an old companion that feels familiar as it settles into place within her heart. She struggles with the guilt, though, because she feels responsible for Ruby’s suffering and represents a woefully insufficient resource from which Ruby can draw comfort.

 

But as much as she wants to wallow in the misery of her own personal failings, her primary focus is getting Ruby through this however she can. Feeling it to be an inadequate gesture, she nonetheless takes Ruby’s hand and places a series of kisses upon her knuckles.

 

“I’m so sorry,” she murmurs against Ruby’s warm skin, then looks up with pleading eyes. “What can I do to make it better?”

 

“There’s nothing you can do to make it better aside from making me forget,” Ruby says, voice a little too numb for Regina’s liking. But then her eyes grow misty and she looks at Regina with such emotion that Regina’s heart squeezes painfully. “What you can do, though, is love me. Just love me, Regina. Hold me and don’t let me go.”

 

“That I can do,” Regina says in an almost whisper. She stands and shucks her jacket off, folds it neatly, and then places it upon the coffee table before adjusting the throw pillows on the end of the couch opposite Ruby. After reclining back and getting settled, she holds out her arms and says, “Come here.” She smiles when Ruby immediately crawls over and tucks herself into the waiting embrace.

 

With her left arm at Regina’s side and their legs tangled together, Ruby rests her head over Regina’s heart and then brushes the palm of her right hand down Regina’s forearm until their fingers are threading together. “I love you so much,” she says with a noticeable hitch in her voice. “The entire time I was imprisoned, I just kept praying you would change your mind and run, that you would save yourself. I should have known better. You always were too stubborn for your own good.” She pauses and then chuckles lightly. “My plucky bandit.”

 

Regina hums her own laugh before replying. “And for you, I always will be.”

 

“Promise?” Ruby doesn’t look up, but Regina can hear the creeping doubt in her voice.

 

“With all of my heart.”

 

Ruby nods her acceptance into Regina’s chest and then settles in. “’Kay,” she murmurs as she squeezes Regina’s hand. Silence falls once more that is only penetrated by the occasional sniffle or whimper from Ruby. Regina alternates between peppering kisses upon her lover’s crown and murmuring soft assurances as she brushes her fingers gently through Ruby’s thick mane of dark hair. Before long – perhaps five minutes Regina reckons – Ruby grows still, her body going limp shortly thereafter as she falls into a deep sleep.

 

Using her magic, Regina summons a blanket over them both while at the same time changing her attire into a more suitable nightgown. She abstains from her ridiculously comfortable silken pajamas out of a need to feel the skin of Ruby’s legs against her own and the press of a warm cheek against her chest.

 

As she holds Ruby securely, Regina allows her mind to drift back to a moment during Mary Margaret’s meltdown. A particular statement she’d made flashes through her mind. When Mary Margaret had lamented how she didn’t feel like a victim, Regina mentioned that the guilt would fade. “ _Take it from someone who chose to do horrific things in real life_ ,” were her precise words. What she’d really wanted to say was, “Take it from someone who actually did those things in real life.”

 

For whatever reason, perhaps the stress of what had just happened or the tangible grief Mary Margaret was feeling or Ruby’s loss of control, at that moment thoughts of Graham resurfaced that she’d entombed long ago. With them came acute feelings of guilt and shame that threatened to upset the delicate balance of her own self-control. She’d pushed them away to focus on calming Snow down, but now that she is back at home and Ruby is safe, she can’t help but dwell on them again.

 

In analyzing those feelings, she realizes that she has avoided them simply because she didn’t want to admit to herself how very similar her own practices were to Evil Snow’s. To be clear, Regina did not make a habit of raping her victims, but that does not mean that she had never done any such thing. The fact of the matter is that after Graham betrayed their agreement, she had taken his heart and forced him into her bed to subdue his will. That it happened only once, and that their arrangement in Storybrooke was consensual in nature is of no consequence in the light of Ruby’s suffering, or of David’s, or of Mary Margaret’s.

 

That night as she lay holding Ruby so close that she can feel her lover’s heartbeat against her breast, Regina feels as if she is the ultimate hypocrite to be comforting Ruby over memories of an event that did not happen in reality while in the very real world she had committed the very same heinous crime. As if to deepen her turmoil, Graham’s haunted eyes appear behind her lids every time they close, condemning her for being the villain that she is.

 

“ _Murderer_ ,” he taunts in his harsh Irish lilt, eyes burning with disgust. “ _Rapist. Thief. Monster._ ”

 

Like a broken record, he repeats the accusations over and over until Regina feels choked and suffocated by her justly assigned reproach. The only reasons she doesn’t fly apart at the seams is Ruby’s grounding presence holding her together and because her own indomitable force of will.

 

Escaping the torture of remembering proves impossible, however. A part of her past that she had purposefully locked away has resurfaced that will not go back in so neatly for a second time. For her to move past it, she will have to face it, but to do that requires a level of honesty she isn’t ready for. Regina doesn’t think she can stomach admitting what she did to Ruby, not only because she is afraid of what Ruby will say or do, but also because Ruby is so terribly fragile right now and so many lives are in total upheaval. Eventually, though, she will have to tell the truth knowing that it might very well spell the end of this exceedingly precious relationship.

 

The very thought of losing Ruby fills Regina with so much anxiety she is surprised at her ability to remain outwardly calm for Ruby’s sake. Inside, though, she is reeling and frantic and feeling that insidious desperation well up that had once pushed her down a deep, dark hole that swallowed her whole for the better part of a decade. She is treading dangerous waters dangling to an uncertain life preserver to prevent her from drowning. The Queen, ever present in the back of her mind, cackles as she urges Regina to accept the darkness once again if only to spare herself the pain of having a conscience.

 

Regina resists the seductive pull with all of her might and focuses in on the sound of Ruby’s even breathing, causing the Queen to fade into the background once more. And as Ruby slumbers peacefully through the night ensconced in her arms, Regina remains wide awake. The harrowing specters of her past persistently trouble her mind, and sleep eludes her just as it will many other times in the weeks to come.

 

* * *

 

It turns out that Graham’s ghost follows Regina back to the Enchanted Forest and on into Camelot as the gang of heroes chase mythical legends and their own tails searching for a way to purge Emma of the darkness. Regina’s only consolation over the ensuing days is that Ruby had remained home in Storybrooke upon her insistence.

 

“You can’t make me stay,” Ruby had said, hands on her hips as she glared obstinately at Regina.

 

“No, I can’t,” Regina replied calmly. “But I can ask you to. I can beg you to. And I will do that if I must, Ruby, because I can’t do this – I can’t help Emma if I’m spending half of my time fretting over you.”

 

Ruby had deflated as if a balloon being burst by a dart. “Ugh. Why do you always have to be right?”

 

“Because I’m a Queen, darling,” Regina replied around a smile, “and a Queen is always right.”

 

Ruby gave a chuckle as she leaned in for a kiss. When she pulled away she firmly swatted Regina’s rear, eliciting an undignified yelp. “Well then, you’d best get that Queenly ass moving so you don’t keep the Scooby Gang waiting.”

 

After sharing another series of parting kisses, each more lingering than the last, Regina finally disappeared in a cloud of magic.

 

It turns out getting to Camelot is no small feat. According to the dying apprentice, the only way to reach the Enchanted Forest is with his wand, which incidentally requires both light and dark magic to open a portal. Unfortunately no one among the group of heroes, Regina included, possesses enough darkness to fuel the wand. Thus, they are left with no alternative but to seek Zelena’s assistance.

 

Going to her sister for help offends Regina’s every sensibility, noble and vindictive alike, but she does it anyway because she owes Emma for saving her from a fate that would have all but ended her one shot at redemption. Since Regina doesn’t trust her elder half-sibling enough to lend her a crayon with which to decorate her padded walls, it comes as no surprise that Zelena is only willing to agree on the basis that she be freed. Regina flatly refuses, and not only for herself but for Robin’s sake as well.

 

In thinking of Robin, it suddenly dawns on Regina how disgustingly similar she really is to her sister. Both have used sex as a weapon to get what they want, victimizing innocent people in the process. The only difference between them were the methods employed. Zelena had used magic to deceive Robin into bed and conceived a child as a consequence, while Regina had taken Graham’s heart and forced him into hers to bend him to her will.

 

And as Regina stands listening to a slimy attempt to persuade her to remove the magic dampening cuff preventing her sister from activating the wand, she can only see Graham’s face, condemnatory expression firmly in place. The longer Zelena rants the more Graham mingles with Robin until Regina feels bile rising up the column of her throat as if lava about to erupt from a volcano. She hightails it out of the cell just in time to vomit up what little breakfast Ruby had forced her to eat earlier that morning in the hallway. Nurse Ratchet gives her a withering look due to the mess she’ll have to clean up, but Regina ignores the woman in her haste to escape the dingy space of Storybrooke General’s Mental Ward.

 

In retrospect, she shouldn’t have left Hook behind, but his questionable judgment winds up working in their favor to secure a portal for them to hijack when Zelena uses the wand in an attempt to return to Oz. Luckily for Regina, after learning of Zelena’s escape, she’d retrieved the magic dampening cuffs. When her sister stumbles due to the enormous energy required to open the portal, Regina slaps the cuffs back on and relishes the minor victory.

 

Unfortunately, Granny’s Diner is the first casualty in the quest to rescue Emma. Regina isn’t quite sure how she will explain things to Ruby if the Diner doesn’t make it back to Storybrooke in one piece. But that, she decides, is a problem for later.

 

Once in Camelot, it is difficult for Regina to concentrate on saving Emma with her waking thoughts at home with Ruby in Storybrooke and her nights plagued by her own dark memories of that infinitely regrettable incident with Graham. Still, she manages to soldier on as she always does, just like her mother taught her. She has always been adept at compartmentalization, which a good thing considering she has to endure Zelena’s presence the entire time, a thorn in her side that festers ceaselessly, feeding her self-loathing and rage.

 

After a series of setbacks in the quest to cleave Emma from the Dark One dagger, Regina finds herself back in Storybrooke with missing memories for the second time in as many years. Another Curse has been cast to get them all back home, and of course, Emma – now dressed in full-on Dark One leathers and her hair silvered with dark magic – immediately goes missing. The Dark Swan is loose in Storybrooke, and there is no predicting what she will do.

 

The first order of business for Regina upon arriving back in Storybrooke is to bid a hasty adieu to the company at Granny’s. They protest her departure with Emma in the wind, but she grips Henry’s shoulder beneath steady hands and says, “If you find her, give me a call. I have a son to take care of and Ruby needs me at home. Goodnight.” And with that, she magicks them back home in a puff of purple smoke. However upon arriving in her living room, she is greeted not by Ruby’s sweet smile but rather by the pungent, cloying smell of the darkest magic imaginable.

 

She enters the foyer cautiously, pushing Henry behind her to protect him to the voicing of his confusion. “Quiet,” she says, effectively cutting off any further complaints. Henry obeys, though his confusion turns quickly into barely concealed fear. Regina then scours the area with her eyes before turning them upstairs where she hears the faint sounds of a conversation emanating from somewhere down the hallway. Her immediate deduction is that the voices are coming from her bedroom. Horror strikes her square in the chest.

 

“Go into the kitchen and stay there,” she orders Henry as quietly as possible, and then ushers him past her, giving his shoulder a little nudge as he slides by. “Don’t come out unless I tell you. Understand?”

 

“Yes,” he nods, looking like he wants to press the issue. To his credit, he simply obeys. Regina makes herself a mental note to reward him later.

 

With Henry safely in the kitchen, she makes her way upstairs and then down the hallway toward the master bedroom that she intends on sharing with Ruby on a more permanent basis as soon as she can work up the nerve. In the real world, they have not been together nearly long enough for cohabitation, but a year’s worth of memories are in her head of being romanced by a dashing werewolf and of making plans to run away together and be married. Included in those memories are Regina’s own death. Life, she now believes, is far too precious and fleeting to waste on having cold feet. She wants her home to be Ruby’s too because to be frank, Ruby is rapidly become _her_ home.

 

Of course, there is the matter of telling Ruby the truth about Graham as well, and to be sure that throws a kink in Regina’s plans. But as she nears the door to her bedroom, she pushes all such thoughts away.

 

Up so close to the bedroom door, the conversation inside is now decipherable, so Regina listens in before making her entrance.

 

“I’ve always wanted to know if you taste as good as you look,” she hears Emma say, her voice silky smooth but tainted by that dark edge that’s been present since she became the Dark One. Regina can feel Ruby cringe at the crass language, but something prevents her from barging in to give Darth Swan a piece of her mind. Instead, she listens as Emma’s seductively stated offer continues. “The way Regina waltzes into the Diner these days like the cat that ate the cream, I’m willing to bet you do. And, Ruby, I can promise you right now that you will have the time of your life. Not only can I make you feel things you’ve never imagined, but I can also make you forget about all of that crap that’s been swirling through your brain since escaping Heller’s warped fairy tale. I can make your life so much better if you’ll let me.”

 

“I don’t want that, Emma,” replies Ruby, voice wavering but intent clear. “I don’t want to forget. As terrible as it was, I also watched Regina sacrifice her life twice, once to save Henry and once to save me. If I didn’t before then, I know now how much she really loves me, and that is something I want to remember for the rest of my life.”

 

“Even if it means reliving being raped over and over again?” Emma counters, emphasizing that one repulsive word. Regina starts at the phrasing, only aware of the one incident. She hopes she has merely misconstrued Emma’s meaning because the alternative is too appalling to consider.

 

For a moment there is silence after Emma’s question, but then Ruby answers, “Even then.” Her voice is small but strong with certainty.

 

“Well, I can’t say I agree with that decision, but okay,” Emma then says, sounding amused. “You can keep your memories then. And as for Regina, she’d never have to know. It would be our little secret.”

 

“And what about Hook?” Ruby poses.

 

“He is all in on this plan,” Emma replies with a strangely secretive lilt to her voice. It is as if Emma is privy to information everyone else isn’t, and being ignorant of it nags at Regina until she forces the irritating feeling away by recalibrating her mind to zone in on the words being spoken inside her bedroom. “…I think his precise words were, ‘The more the merrier, love.’”

 

“No, Emma. Just...no,” Ruby says sternly. “Even if I were interested, and I’m not saying I am, but even if I were, I would not do that to Regina. She’s had enough people fail her in life. I won’t be another one of them.”

 

Emma makes a tutting sound, clearly growing annoyed. “I don’t get your loyalty to her. I really don’t. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Regina is hot as hell, and I would not say no to a wild ride on that hate-sex train, but the fact remains you haven’t spoken to my mother in weeks and yet you sleep next to a woman who has done far worse.”

 

“I know what Regina’s done. You don’t need to tell me about all the people she’s killed.”

 

“That? Regina’s proclivity for murder is not what I was referring to.” There is a pause that indicates Emma is waiting for an answer. None comes. “Oh, wow. You don’t know. She hasn’t told you.”

 

When Emma laughs with malefic pleasure, Regina’s heart plummets. She knows what truth is about to be revealed and rushes in to prevent it from happening.

 

After barging into the bedroom, she fixes Emma with a hateful glare. “What the hell is going on?”

 

Emma reacts by tilting her head and smiling as if everything is merry with the world. The expression would look strange on Emma even if she were in her right mind, but in her Dark One attire, it is especially unsettling.

 

“Just having a conversation with my _friend_ , Ruby,” is her response. Her eyes narrow at Regina. “Why, Regina, were you eavesdropping on us?”

 

Regina is in no mood for games and is not inclined to lie given that Emma almost certainly felt her presence when she arrived home. “As a matter of fact I was,” she confirms. “I was curious as to what you wanted with my _girlfriend_ ,” Regina emphasizes the word just as Emma had because she is agitated and therefore not above a pissing match with her former and now on-again rival. “I let this little...” she waves her hand between Emma and a confused looking Ruby, “chit-chat go on in the hopes you would say something stupid. Maybe I should I have let you go on. What is it they say about giving someone enough rope? At any rate this little tête-à-tête is over now. Kindly exit my home, Emma. You’re not welcome here in this state.”

 

Emma smirks at Regina’s mention of her dramatic change in appearance and lifestyle. “And what state is that?” she throws back. “No longer constrained by all the hang-ups and issues that held me back most of my life? Dr. King said it best, I think. Free at last, free at last,” she sings, “thank God almighty I am free at last!”

 

“You’re not free, Emma,” Regina counters. “You’re more a prisoner than ever before. You simply traded one master for another, and make no mistake, the darkness is subtle in its cruel domination. If you don’t believe me, ask Rumplestiltskin what his freedom has cost. Embracing the darkness is the cowards way out, Emma, and I never took you for a coward.”

 

“Regina...” Ruby begins, but stops short when Emma raises her hand.

 

The new Dark One approaches Regina, smile betrayed by the malice in her eyes. Regina does not back down. She stands her ground, knowing that showing fear in the face of such evil only whets its appetites.

 

Frame coiled tight as if strained to the point of snapping, Emma still manages to sound calm as she says, “If you think I’m a coward, why don’t you test me?”

 

“I don’t need to,” Regina replies. “You won’t hurt me here, not with Ruby present and Henry downstairs in the kitchen, waiting on me to tell him everything is okay. Even the Dark One wouldn’t kill her son’s other mother while he was in the house.”

 

The mention of Henry seems to finally penetrate the armor of detached coldness Emma has wrapped herself in, which confirms for Regina that the Savior is still in there. Emma is not yet beyond hope.

 

When Emma’s jaw flexes angrily after realizing Regina’s tactic worked, Regina takes a step back. Rather than allow things to escalate, she gestures toward the door. “Let’s take this outside, shall we?”

 

Emma gives a terse nod and heads through the door, stopping halfway to speak to Ruby over her shoulder. “My offer still stands if you change your mind.” And with that, she disappears from view.

 

Regina breathes a sigh of relief. She looks up to Ruby, who is clearly shaken by what has transpired.

 

“Stay here. I’ll return shortly after I take out the trash.”

 

Ruby seems to intuitively understand Regina’s request is not so much a request as a demand that is not to be disobeyed. She nods then nervously picks at the sheets.

 

“Just be careful.”

Regina tries to smile in order to diffuse the tension. The results are mediocre at best. “Don’t worry. She’s not going to hurt me.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

The question is not ridiculous by any means considering Emma’s immense power. A Savior possessing the power of the Dark One is a foe not to be trifled with. Regina is not ignorant to her hopeless odds were she to actually battle Emma one on one. Empowered as she is, Emma would crush her like an annoying little pest, which only helps prove Regina’s point.

 

“Because I made it back to Storybrooke alive,” she explains. “If Emma wanted any of us dead, we would be. I certainly can’t stop her and she knows that. She has an end game in mind, I just don’t know what it is.”

 

Ruby nibbles at her lip nervously. “That may be true, but still be careful, okay? I can’t lose you.”

 

“I promise.” Regina’s smile is more genuine this time. “I’ll be back shortly.” She leaves before Ruby can respond.

 

After making her way downstairs, she shouts for Henry to go to his room and lock the door, then exits the house to find Emma pacing on the walkway a stone’s throw from the porch. As she thunders towards the waiting Dark One, she doesn’t waste any time tearing into the woman she who has against all odds wormed her way into what once a blackened and closed off heart.

 

“Dammit, Emma! If you want to play games, do so with me. Leave Ruby out of it!”

 

Emma rolls her eyes. “Don’t play innocent with me. You treat her like a breakable doll when she is anything but. Ruby is strong, she just needs a reminder.”

 

“I know she is!” Regina barks. “That doesn’t give you license to toy with her emotions after what she’s been through. And you call yourself her friend...” Regina emphasizes the condemnation with a derisive scoff.

 

“I am her friend,” Emma replies. “But there is also a darkness in Ruby that calls to me just like Killian’s does. I’m willing to bet it’s what drew you to her in the first place. And if you were afraid I’d really hurt her, you shouldn’t have been. I wouldn’t...at least no more than she is comfortable with.”

 

The last words are thick with innuendo, causing Regina to reel back a step. Hands clenching into tight fists that strain the skin of her knuckles, she grits out, “I don’t know what you mean.”

 

Emma laughs at the obvious lie. “C’mon, Regina. I know for a fact you give it to her rough on occasion. I’m an observant person and that porcelain skin of hers bruises easily.”

 

Regina splutters indignantly for a moment, outraged at Emma’s lack of tact as much as she is for being called out on the legitimate kinks she and Ruby secretly share a fondness for. “What we do in our bedroom is our own business, Swan.”

 

Emma raises her hands in mock apology. “Of course. _Sorry_. But I don’t hear a denial.”

 

Regina shuffles at the uncomfortable direction of the conversation. At the same time she is aware that refuting Emma’s insinuation is pointless. They both know it’s true.

 

“You won’t get one. We get adventurous on occasion, but it’s completely consensual...”

 

“Which is the entire point! Ruby likes the darkness whether she’ll admit it or not, and you like that about her. It turns you both on.” Emma’s eyes flash as she steps toward Regina. “Consider how much fun the four of us would have together – you, me, Hook, and our little puppy. Hell, I bet between the three of us we could make Ruby truly howl.”

 

Regina doesn’t understand Emma’s continual inclusion of Hook in her dark whims. As far as she knows, the pirate is a one woman at a time sort of fellow. Enlightenment only comes later upon learning Emma had turned him into a Dark One back in the Enchanted Forest, but at that moment she is too incensed to make much sense of anything Emma is doing or saying.

 

“That’s it, this conversation is over,” she spits out, fury blazing in her eyes. “Remove yourself from my property and don’t return.”

 

“Or else what?” Emma asks, danger in her voice.

 

“Or we’ll fight and you’ll have to kill me, which you will regret later on.”

 

Emma laughs again, and this time her merriment rings out into the night so that Regina is sure half the neighborhood hears it. “You think I’d regret killing you? That really is amusing. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it after you ruined my good mood.”

 

Regina knows Emma well enough that she can tell her merriment is for show. Emma does care, she simply won’t admit it to anyone – even to herself. It is another sign that the real Emma is still present within the sinister shell of the Dark One. But even though Regina could call Emma out on the lie, she doesn’t. At this point, all she wants is for Emma to leave so she can spend the rest of the night in peace with her family.

 

“As for the threats,” Emma continues, “you can save them. I’ll leave.” She steps up into Regina’s personal space, her green eyes shimmering and her unnatural skin glittering in the moon light. “But you’d best keep a close eye on that pretty little thing warming your bed, ‘cause one of these days she’s going to wake up and realize what kind of a monster she’s sleeping beside every night.”

 

The words pierce Regina’s heart like a dagger, and she is assured that Emma didn’t miss the way she’d flinched by the satisfied smirk that takes up residence on those naturally pouty lips. But the truth of the matter is that Emma is right.

 

“I know,” she admits, resignation in her voice. “But that’s not going to stop me from loving her as hard as I can while I have her.”

 

“Admirable but foolish,” says Emma, who takes a moment to study Regina thoroughly. Upon concluding her impromptu inspection without comment, she turns abruptly and walks away, throwing back her departing words over her shoulder. “I’ll be seeing you, Regina. Give my love to Henry.”

 

“Unlikely,” Regina whispers in reply as she watches Emma disappear in a magical vapor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I got through with this one early. It required less editing than I anticipated, which was a nice change of pace for me. Normally editing a chapter takes many grueling hours.
> 
> First to examine the opening scene. I wanted to give Regina and Ruby a little bit of breathing space to reunite free from the fake world before throwing them into angst again, so I had Ruby temporarily suppress her memories in her excitement to be back home with the her best girl. It gave them a sweet moment where everything faded away and it was just them and their love for each other without a care in the world. 
> 
> Snow entering the scene was a purposeful impetus for Ruby's memories to return with a vengeance, as her voice associates closely with Ruby's trauma so recently removed from it. And if anyone noticed, when Regina speaks, she calls her Snow, but in her thoughts it is Mary Margaret. This was a conscious choice by me to show Regina's way of separating Evil!Snow from Good!Snow. Mary Margaret to her is the mousy schoolteacher who wouldn't hurt a fly, but Snow is still melded kind of tightly with the EQ. She calls Snow by her name only because the name Snow prefers. I hope this didn't cause any confusion. If I did, I'll consider changing it.
> 
> Next, I skipped over elaborating about the hunt for Heller, etc, because to be honest, it didn't serve the purpose of the story and also to quickly arrive at the scene where Regina and Ruby finally have time to talk. I wanted to give the impression that they have a healthy relationship that is only really threatened by Regina's refusal to deal with what she did to Graham. I also wanted to strike a balance between Ruby being overwhelmed by the memories but at the same time recognizing somewhat dimly that they aren't real. She feels violated, but at the same time, can show some limited physical interaction with someone she trusts implicitly. This is, of course, a cause of guilt for Regina, but we will discover next chapter why it shouldn't have been.
> 
> I also pretty much just glossed over Camelot. To be frank, I hated S5 in almost its entirety. There were only a few saving graces, such as Regina and Zelena reconciling and Hook becoming a Dark One. Dark Emma was a total letdown, so I altered her to be more risque and edgy and truly teetering on the brink of being evil. And as always, I love me some Red Swan, so I had to throw that in there, too. I really enjoyed writing Regina vs. Darth Swan, though. It was like Season 1 animosity ratcheted up a notch, which was fertile ground to plow for inspiration. If I'd had time, I would have liked to dig more into their rivalry during this time, but I procrastinated on finishing this story and had to rush to get it done in time. =P
> 
> Next chapter will again gloss over pretty much half a season, that being 5b, after which the important conversations happen. Tune in for more angsty goodness!


	9. Free At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina finally confronts the one thing in her past she has suppressed, and in the process many tears are shed, but bonds are strengthened and healing begins.

* * *

" _All of my devils are free at last / And all my secrets revealed / And your permission is all I need to heal_ _"_ \- "Permission" by Sixx A.M.

* * *

 

 **Chapter 8** \- Free At Last

 

After returning inside, the first thing Regina does is to look in on Henry. True to her word, she tries to treat him more like an adult by sitting him down to, in as diplomatic a way as she can, discuss the encounter she just had with his biological mother. While she obscures the true nature of Emma's advances on Ruby, she does not sugar-coat the fact that the newest Dark One crossed a line she shouldn't have.

 

Furthermore, fear for his safety prompts her to forbids him to be in Emma's vicinity without herself, Ruby, or one of his heroically inclined grandparents to supervise, and while he seems to understand her point of view, she can tell he is itching for the chance to reach out to other parent.

 

"I know you're going to find a way to talk to her with or without my permission because you think you can handle her," she tells him as she sits down next to him on his bed. "Just...proceed with caution. Emma is further gone than I had anticipated, and I can't be one hundred percent certain she will not leverage you against me." When he starts to retort, she interrupts him. "I'm not saying Emma is going to hurt you. I know she won't. And what's more, we will save. But until then we cannot afford to underestimate her or her intentions _or_ the intentions of whatever evil presence resides within that accursed dagger. She's simply too dangerous right now."

 

Henry sighs, but nods just the same. "I get it, Mom." When Regina raises a brow, he reiterates, "I really do. It's just...hard. Emma is supposed to be the Savior, not the enemy. This is so wrong!"

 

Sympathy for her sons situation prompts Regina to rub his knee with a practiced and gentle maternal touch. "I know, sweetheart. I'm having a hard time, too. Emma is my friend. I don't want to fight with her, but if she threatens us or tries to manipulate Ruby again..."

 

"Do what you have to do, Mom," Henry says, surprising Regina. His expression is grave. "If what she tried to do to Ruby is half as bad as you made it seem, we have to protect her. She's family now. Just promise me you won't hurt Emma."

 

Proud of him for including Ruby in their family now, Regina reaches up to smooth a hand over his cheek. Out of respect for his slightly increased aversion to physical affection of late, she does not allow it to linger but is nonetheless pleased that he seems to accept her motherly gesture. Upon removing her hand, she pats his folded ones laying in his lap before mirroring his posture to further encourage him.

 

"I will do everything in my power to avoid hurting Emma," she promises, meaning every word.

 

Regina does not want to hurt Emma if she doesn't have to. But another proposition to Ruby along the lines of the last one will mean she has to take the gloves off to protect what's hers. And as hard as she has fought in the past for Henry (and will do the same in the present), she is willing to go every bit as far for Ruby. If no holds barred warfare is what it takes to keep Emma away from Ruby, so be it. She just hopes bloodshed can be avoided. Words, while weapons that can be wielded to harm, cannot do irreparable damage.

 

After discussing Henry's upcoming school project to get his mind off of Emma's plight, Regina retires to her bedroom, but not before bidding him goodnight and sneaking a kiss to her son's forehead. She smiles on her way out the door to the sound of his protesting whine, "Moooom."

 

Upon entering her bedroom, Regina finds Ruby pacing beside the bed like a caged animal. "Oh, thank God," she huffs upon spotting Regina walk through the door.

 

"She's gone. Everything's alright," Regina tells her worried girlfriend. "I'm sorry I wasn't back sooner, I needed to get Henry settled. Did you not hear me come in or speaking to him in his room?"

 

Ruby stops pacing, confusion etching across her features. "No, I didn't. I guess I was too worried about you for my senses to pick you up, or maybe I'm still out of whack from being stuck in the pages of a book for God knows how long. How is he, by the way?"

 

"Coping," Regina says as she moves in to stand close to Ruby. "It's not easy for him to deal with his Savior of a mother becoming the living embodiment of evil."

 

Sympathy lines Ruby's features. "Poor kid. He's been through a lot in a short time."

 

"Yes, he has," Regina says. "Which is why I forbade him to seek Emma out on his own. If I'm not here to chaperone, you have to watch out for him, Ruby."

 

"I will." Ruby's solemn expression gives Regina all the assurance she needs. But then Ruby crosses her arms protectively over her chest, and Regina knows the topic is about to change. "Speaking of Emma. What the hell happened to her?"

 

Regina has nothing to tell Ruby but the truth. "Aside from her becoming the Dark One, I'm not exactly sure. We are all missing our memories from the trip to Camelot."

 

Ruby gapes in disbelief. "You're joking."

 

"If only," Regina sighs. "Another Curse was cast."

 

"Another one. Wow. Is the casting of the Dark Curse going to become an annual event in this town from here on out?"

 

Ruby's deadpan delivery elicits a small chuckle from Regina which is not at all appropriate considering the subject matter. It is humorous, though, in a tragic and almost perverse way that three separate Dark Curses – each of which represent a great deal of sacrifice – have been cast to transport various populations of the Enchanted Forest to this world.

 

In response to Ruby's question, Regina says, "Not if I have anything to say about it." However, because the Curse, as worrisome as it is, is not her primary concern, she veers the topic to one still relevant but in a more personally way. "About earlier, are you alright? She didn't try anything untoward did she?"

 

Ruby shakes her head in the negative, which relieves Regina even though she didn't think Emma had done anything wrong...yet.

 

"She just wanted to talk. I don't think you got here long after she did. Her visit was pretty much just to pitch me that offer to become her concubine...well, hers and Hook's."

 

"Did she give any indication as to why she was interested in you?" When Ruby tilts her head as if she's insulted, Regina quickly amends, "Not that you are undesirable, darling, because obviously you are."

 

"Why, thank you, milady," Ruby replies with a wink, but then she grows more solemn and her brows furrow in contemplation. "But no, she didn't really give a reason, and I find that strange. Emma never gave any kind of indication she was interested in me that way before, and believe me, I woulda known if she was. My gaydar is pretty on point."

 

Regina chuckles at the Rubyism. It is true, though, that Ruby has a sense for such things as sexual orientation. Before Ruby, Regina had never told a soul she skewed bisexual, but after they got together Ruby had up and informed her one day that it was obvious to her.

 

" _I've known since the day you first_ _waltzed_ _into the diner_ _and saw me in my uniform_ _._ _You eyed me like you were a starving lioness and I was a bloody steak_ _that just got_ _tossed into your cage_ ," she'd said, and Regina could only blush because it was an accurate assessment of the leering she'd thought was rather subtle. " _I thought for a while that you'd eventually make a pass at me, but you didn't, so I let it go._ "

 

" _Why didn't you say anything_?" was Regina reply as she fidgeted in a vain attempt to dissipate the heat flooding her cheeks and chest.

 

Ruby had just stared as if the question was preposterous. " _Are you kidding? You intimidated the living hell out of me! Still do sometimes, but it's a good thing now, 'cause since we're together I find it kinda hot when you get all Queenly on me._ "

 

Regina flushes at flashes of the many highly memorable occasions she has gotten 'all Queenly' on Ruby. Sometimes literally. When she catches Ruby grinning like the Cheshire Cat, she clears her throat and steers herself back on target.

 

"Although I don't question your 'gaydar'," she says using air quotes, "I'm not so sure your read on Emma is completely accurate."

 

Ruby frowns. "Why do you say that? Did she say something else to you?" Regina nods her confirmation. "What did she say?"

 

"She extended the offer to me as well."

 

Ruby's brows raise nearly up to her hairline at that. "Why, that little…wait a second. So first she propositions me while you're not here and then you when the two of you were alone outside. Is it just me or are you getting the feeling she was trying to drive a wedge between us?"

 

"She was," Regina agrees.

 

Emma hadn't said as much, but Regina knows the way people with evil agendas think. The best way to destroy any relationship is to turn people against each other and let them do all the difficult work. That Emma had approached Ruby while she was alone suggests that the Dark One is trying to plant seeds of doubt in Ruby's mind while at the same time pursuing a more insidious objective. She'd known Regina was listening and put on a show meant to provoke Regina's disreputable nature in order to separate them.

 

As the pieces of the puzzle start falling into place, Regina says, "While I think there may be some genuine, largely suppressed, and very messy feelings there for Emma, my current theory is that she is trying to tempt me into becoming... _her_ again. Jealousy has always been one of my weaknesses, of which she is well aware."

 

"You have nothing to be jealous of," Ruby insists, drawing a tender smile from Regina.

 

"I know, and neither do you." Regina offers her hand to Ruby, who takes it and gives it a squeeze. "That's why she won't succeed."

 

Ruby matches her smile. "I'm glad to hear that."

 

"That said, she won't give up so easily. Emma is persistent above all else."

 

Ruby makes a face at the idea of being solicited again. "If you think that's the case, this needs to be resolved quickly. She wasn't violent tonight but she wanted to be. I know that look. I see it in the mirror when I get frustrated during Wolf's Time. The monster was begging to be let loose." After stewing on her emotions a second, Ruby's expression turns inquisitive. "She needs help before things go too far. Do you have any idea how to fix her?"

 

Regina frowns at the question because she doesn't have a clue how to resolve the situation, or if she does, she doesn't remember. "If I could reclaim our time in Camelot? Maybe. What happened there is anyone's guess, but it's possible we found a solution that Emma rebelled against by wiping our memories and bringing us all back, much in the same vein as my sister did."

 

Ruby takes the news better than expected. There is no worry to be found in her as she pats Regina's hand affectionately before releasing it. "Well, while I'd love to solve this latest crisis tonight, let's not dwell on it any more. You'll figure out a way to help Emma. You're the most resourceful person I've ever known."

 

Ruby's confidence is a much needed bolster to Regina's ego, which has taken a beating over the past weeks. She gently cups Ruby's cheek, smiling when Ruby leans into her touch.

 

As she brushes her thumb over Ruby's lower lip, she says, "Your faith in me is astounding and unwarranted, but I'll take it."

 

"Good," Ruby replies, eyes creasing with a smile of her own. "Can I have a kiss now? I need to get the taste of Emma's unwelcome advances out of my mouth."

 

It is a request Regina is happy to oblige. She leans in and presses their lips together, keeping it sweet and loving but chaste out of respect for Ruby. Although Ruby insists she just needs some time to reconcile fiction with reality, Regina knows her lover is not yet ready for intimacy. It will be a while, she thinks, before either of them feel comfortable making love. For now, they need to take things slow without regressing.

 

When they part after a minute or so, Regina takes Ruby by the hand to lead her over to the bed.

 

"Listen, there is something we need to talk about," she says once they are seated, having angled themselves toward each other so that their knees are brushing. "When I was eavesdropping, I heard Emma refer to what happened in _Heroes & Villains_. Am I missing context here or is there truth to her assertion that it happened more than once?"

 

For a moment it looks like Ruby is about to deny the truth, but thinks better of it when Regina raises a sable brow as if daring her tentative girlfriend to lie. Abashed and visibly unsettled, Ruby ducks her head down to peer up at Regina through her lashes. "You're not missing anything. Evil Snow didn't stop the...abuse after that first time. She left the guards out of it, though, so there's that to be thankful for."

 

Regina pales, a whoosh of air leaving her as if her lungs are being forcibly compressed. A long silence passes before she recovers enough to tip Ruby's chin up to meet haunted green eyes.

 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" she asks, voice tremulous.

 

"I didn't want you to feel guilty." When Regina looks confused, Ruby clarifies with a wince, "because of Graham."

 

Regina pales for the second time, this time shrinking back as if struck. Emma's comment from earlier echos through her brain, and she can't help but fear that this is the moment she's dreaded since this relationship began. An unpleasantly tight knot forms in her stomach over the likelihood that Ruby will soon leave her.

 

Her voice is nearly inaudible when she speaks. "You know about that?"

 

Ruby nods, her superior hearing having picked up the faint question. She nibbles at her lip twice before replying, "I always knew." Regina's eyes widen dramatically. "It's hard to fool a werewolf when sex is involved," she goes on to explain. "Even a cursed one. Graham's arrangement with you never quite sat right with me. It was like he hated you but at the same time couldn't quit you. I knew something was off but didn't understand exactly what that was until the curse broke. Wasn't hard to put the pieces together after I had my memories back. Your penchant for collecting hearts was your claim to fame, after all."

 

Regina gapes, unable to formulate a response. The guilt and shame that has riddled her conscience since being freed from Isaac Heller's story comes flooding through the dam she'd temporarily erected to hold it at bay.

 

"Ruby," she breathes after a minute of uncomfortable silence. "I...I don't know what to say."

 

"You did something awful. There's really nothing to say."

 

Ruby's response is blunt, but her tone is neither angry nor hurt, which somewhat confuses Regina. She'd expected to be lambasted verbally, or even to be roasted upon a spit and then consumed whole by the wolf. Ruby's measured response is so bewildering that she doesn't quite know what to think or do or say. She does feel that she would prefer vitriol to this controlled response because at least then she would know where she stands.

 

Even if occupying a tentative position, Regina knows she has to say something. She owes Ruby that much at least. After taking a deep preparatory breath, she rips the band-aid off.

 

"You are absolutely right. I did something unforgivable, and while I know it's no excuse, I need you to know that I only forced him with his heart once before the Curse. I swear I did not make Graham sleep with me here."

 

Ruby's eyes slice into Regina, delving beyond the surface down into the depths of her heart and soul. It is like she is reading a book made of flesh and bones and deciphering it with the ease of a practiced translator. The feeling that gaze produces in Regina is disconcerting to say the least, and her unease is only intensified upon Ruby's subsequent query.

 

"He felt compelled just the same, though, did he not?"

 

Regina grinds her teeth against the truth, but in the interest of salvaging what she can of their relationship, she has to be brutally honest. Ruby is still here for the moment, but Regina knows her girlfriend _will_ leave if lies start being told.

 

"Yes...I-I," she stutters, fighting against her instinct to lie while trying find the right words to convey what happened to Graham under the Dark Curse. "The Curse was not of my design, but without his heart, I suppose he defaulted to witless obedience."

 

The look of disappointment that crosses Ruby's face sends Regina's heart into her stomach. She's said the wrong thing.

 

"Don't do that."

 

"What, dear? Tell the truth?" Regina replies, reverting to sarcasm out of habit. She is reeling and feeling defensive. "I thought that's what you wanted."

 

Ruby growls, although it is not menacing so much as an expression of her frustration. "It is! Keep telling the truth, Regina, just don't demean Graham with your words. He was a good person. He wasn't witless, he wasn't a slave, and he didn't deserve what happened to him, just like I didn't."

 

Rather than allow herself to crawl further beneath the shell of snarky defiance, Regina takes the correction for what it is: an admonishment from a place of love. "You're right," she concedes, and it feels strange but right all the same.

 

Were it any other person Regina is sure she wouldn't feel this way, but with Ruby, she feels safe enough to receive criticism knowing it is purely for her benefit. Ruby wants to help her be a better person without seeming like a self-righteous, holier-than-thou, know-it-all. And aside from that, isn't improving herself been what she's worked towards since the moment she adopted Henry?

 

"You're right," she continues, "and I'm sorry, I truly am. What can I do to prove that?"

 

"Well, Graham is dead, so I don't see how it's possible."

 

Regina flinches, but gets the gist of Ruby's argument, even if her question was misconstrued. "I meant to you."

 

Ruby's expression softens at that. She reaches for Regina's hand, grasps it between her own, then rests them in her lap. "You have nothing to prove to me, Regina. You have never hurt me and I know you never will on purpose. I do have a question for you, though. Have you owned up to what you did?"

 

Ruby's reassurance is welcome, but her question hits the mark, setting Regina's stomach into a nauseating churn. "N-no, I suppose I haven't. Tonight is the first time I've spoken of this with anyone."

 

"Don't you think it's time, then? For what it's worth, what happened to me has nothing to do with what you did to Graham." Regina gives Ruby a doubtful look, which prompts Ruby to duck forward and run the pad of her index finger tenderly down Regina's jawline. "It doesn't," she reinforces. "From my perspective, the events are not in any way related. It was not some karmic punishment aimed at you. But you don't see it that way, do you? You're starting to associate them." Regina nods sorrowfully. "Well, don't, because I can't get through this with you stuck between the past and the present. I need you here with me now. Is that selfish? I guess so, but..."

 

"It's not selfish, sweetheart," Regina interjects. "After what you've been through, you deserve my undivided attention. But you're correct that I can't give you what you need unless I acknowledge my hypocrisy. It's time to do that, I suppose, but as you said, Graham is dead. I can't exactly make recompense to him."

 

"But you can to Emma."

 

The suggestion catches Regina off guard. Perhaps her guilt is impairing her perception, but she can't fathom how apologizing to Emma will make her feel better about what she did to Graham.

 

"How so?"

 

"She loved him," Ruby explains, "and I think she was the only person who ever did. Losing Graham changed Emma, it shaped her into the woman she is today almost as much as being stuffed into that wardrobe with Pinocchio did. Graham may not be here to accept your apologies, but as much as was possible without a heart, he loved Emma back, and she _is_ still here."

 

What Ruby is saying makes sense, but there is an obstacle that has been overlooked. "But is she? In such a state as she is now, Emma is half present at best. Confessing to -" unable to bring herself to use the appropriate word, she grits out a deflection, " _that_...will be meaningless or even worse, a weapon to be used against me. I can't face her until she's herself, Ruby."

 

"I agree. I just…" Ruby sighs and then gestures between them. "I just want us to work, but we can't with this baggage coming between us. For us to move forward, I have to let go of mine and you have to let go of yours."

 

Ruby has been avoiding Snow like the plague due to what happened in _Heroes & Villains_, but her statement gives Regina a hope that she feels awful in acknowledging given what she's just confessed to. But she needs it desperately, so she clings to it. "You mean..."

 

"As soon as this mess is over with Emma, I will do my part," Ruby confirms. "I'll talk to Snow, but only if you promise to talk to Emma. And no holding back, okay? I'll know if you do."

 

Regina cannot express how much she does _not_ want to face Emma about Graham, but she had to acknowledge that Ruby was right, as his death was a point of axial shift for Emma. In the weeks that followed, on the few nights during which Emma was not working herself to the bone, she would loiter around the Station to mope inside the Sheriff's office. And during the day she often could be found lingering mournfully at the deceased Sheriff's fresh grave.

 

Regina had mostly avoided Emma during that time, but when their paths finally crossed Emma stared at her with so much loathing that Regina momentarily considered the possibility of Emma having figured out the truth. She'd quickly dismissed the idea as absurd, but in retrospect she knows Emma's remarkably keen intuition was making connections her conscious mind could not.

 

After the Curse was broken, life became too hectic for Emma to confront Regina about the slain Sheriff, which hadn't bothered Regina in the slightest. Any reprieve from having to deal with Emma's wrath was welcome since she'd been so single-mindedly focused on both staying alive and winning back her son's trust. The longer time passed without a mention of what she'd done to Graham, the more she began to relax. She shouldn't have. Emma was simply biding her time.

 

On the first anniversary of Graham's death, the great showdown finally happened. Quite coincidentally, it occurred within the cozy confines of the Storybrooke Sheriff's Station – in the Sheriff's office at that. Regina, not thinking at all about the date, had made casual mention of her preference for Graham's style of decoration, which was a terrible mistake, as the location combined with the still-burning torch Emma carried for him had set her off. During the subsequent flurried exchange of vicious remarks, a crass comment resulted in Regina being slapped across the face. It took all of Regina's restraint not to return the favor, only with a fireball instead of her hand.

 

Slaps, however, would be the least of Regina's worries upon Emma discovering the other heinous crime the Evil Queen had visited upon a helpless Graham. More than anything, Regina feared that Emma would end their friendship and sever all but nominal ties with her over it. Because she needs Emma's friendship almost as much as she needs Henry and Ruby's love, losing it now would be a devastating blow from which she might never fully recover.

 

And yet for Ruby's sake, she is willing to sabotage the only true friendship she's ever had. There is no choice to be made.

 

"I will," she promises, meaning it despite the pangs of sorrow in her heart. It is almost as if she can feel Emma slipping away already. She hides her sadness, though, not wanting Ruby to know how much this is affecting her. _You are not the victim here_ , she reminds herself, then says aloud to Ruby, "Thank you for being so understanding. I don't deserve it."

 

"No, you don't." The curt response knocks the wind out of Regina for the second time in a short span. But then Ruby squeezes her hand in reassurance and continues, "But does anyone, really? All of us have done terrible things, Regina, including me. The Bible got one thing right, at least: we are all sinners in need of salvation. It's just that, as I said, I can't offer you absolution for Graham because it's not my place and he's not around to do so for himself. Emma is as close as you can get, and what she'll do is anyone's guess at this point. But beyond her, Regina, you have to forgive yourself."

 

"I don't know how to do that, Ruby," Regina confesses, eyes watering with emotion. "And even if I did, I don't know if I can."

 

"You can if you just let me help you!" Dropping Regina's hand, Ruby cups her face with both hands, thumbs just in front of her ears, and draws Regina forward until their foreheads are almost touching. So close, she can smell the strawberry sweetness of Ruby's shampoo and see the love shining in those expressive green eyes.

 

"Listen to me," Ruby continues, her voice authoritative but tempered by those vast stores of compassion that never cease to amaze Regina. "I love you unconditionally, but that also means I know you. There are people in town who think I've had the wool pulled over my eyes for me to be with you, but I assure you I did not enter into this relationship blindly. I know who you are, Regina, and I know what you've done.

 

"But you see, that monstrous part of me that is the wolf craves the darkness in you, revels in the way you treat me when you're in one of your moods. I would be lying if I said I don't look forward to you breaking out the leather and the riding crop after tying me up to the bed, or that I don't love to get in your face when you're so angry unadulterated hellfire is blazing in your eyes. 'Cause I do, Regina. I get off on you being bad sometimes, and you know what? I wasn't ashamed of that before that damnable book, and I refuse to let myself be shamed now because two megalomaniacs tried to escape the consequences of their atrocious choices in life. I am who I am, part of me being an honest to God wild animal.

 

"But you know what? That other part of me, the part that is a human girl? Well, she loves the light that is in you. Your motherly way with Henry is so beautiful to me, Regina, and so is your selflessness in saving this town over and over again. You have made friends of your enemies in a way that I once would have thought impossible. But most of all I love the way you love me.

 

"No one can ever compare to you as far as I'm concerned. You are my perfect mate. I don't want anyone else, and I don't expect you change either. I love you just the way you are, both light and darkness, and the best parts of both at that. What I _do_ want is for you to let go of the past and embrace the future – our future – 'cause from where I'm sitting, it looks pretty freakin' amazing."

 

It is hard for Regina to think let along breath due being awestruck at the angelic woman who has so passionately declared a love for her that she'd thought she would never experience again. When Daniel died, Regina had believed his like to forever have disappeared from the world. But she is so glad, so very, very glad to be wrong.

 

"I think so, too," she says in reference to that future, once dimming by the second but now illuminating the horizon of Regina's imagination again. Smiling through her tears that Ruby wipes away with careful strokes of her thumbs, she softly says, "Thank you, Ruby. Again."

 

"For what? Loving you?" Ruby asks rhetorically. "That is something you never have to thank me for. I will always love you, Regina. Always."

 

The incredible smile that overtakes her face is so bright that it lifts Regina's spirits from the dark, swampy morass into which it had earlier sunk. Hope and love blossom within her chest in equal measure, and she revels in their warmth and in their ability to banish the shadows for a season. And although Regina knows they will eventually return, she now knows Ruby will be there with her to shine that brilliant light of her to dispel them, just as she has tonight.

 

"Yet I still wish to," she counters, feeling a touch cheeky from the return of her good humor. "So I would very much appreciate it if you would just shut up and take the compliment. Stubborn pup."

 

Ruby chuckles in amusement. "Well, missy, if you want to thank me so very badly, why don't you come here and give me a kiss?"

 

Regina straightens her shoulders with a flourish, but Ruby does not let go of her face. Instead she draws Regina in even closer so that Regina has but to whisper for her to hear.

 

"Your wish is my command."

 

* * *

 

It has been two months, a week, and five days since Regina returned from Camelot. So much has happened in that span that her head spins even thinking about it. Purging Emma from the reforged Excalibur lead to a trip to the Underworld to rescue Hook who, after absorbing the power of every Dark One who ever lived, sacrificed himself in perhaps the most heroic death Regina has yet witnessed.

 

In the Underworld Regina was reunited with her father only to lose him all over again. Her only comfort had been that he passed on to a better place, much as Daniel had. At the same time she was dealing with that loss, she'd faced off with her mother one last time. The happy ending to that story was in no small part due to Cora, whose unfinished business wound up involving reuniting her feuding daughters. She accomplished this astounding feat by restoring memories she'd taken from both Regina and Zelena in their youth, a time in which they had met and loved each other like true sisters should. Feeling that warmth for Zelena again had been an unexpected boon for Regina, but it was soon tempered by Ruby's painful experience.

 

Regina had pleaded with Ruby not to accompany her to the Underworld, but her stubborn wolf refused her every attempt by citing Regina's near death experience in Camelot. That Robin had stepped in front of a blade meant for her only made Ruby more determined.

 

"If anybody is going to die for you, it's going to be me," she'd said, which was an absurd point of view, and Regina told her so. "I don't care!" she'd replied hotly. "You left me behind once. I won't be sidelined a second time, not when I can help." When Regina started to argue, Ruby's eyes flashed dangerously. "I'm going whether you want me to or not, the only question is where I'll be sleeping when get back home." There was no need for Regina to interpret that statement.

 

Since coming back from Camelot, Ruby had sort of migrated into half-living at the mansion, which was to Regina's benefit in many ways beyond the obvious. Having the woman she loved in her arms almost every night was amazing, and frankly if Ruby had continued living in her apartment full time, Regina wouldn't have slept a wink with so much distance between them and the memories from _Heroes & Villains_ still relatively fresh in her mind. Having Ruby at home with her a majority of the time was a luxury she had grown to rely on, as well as one she didn't ever want to be deprived of again. Thus, she had rather pathetically agreed to Ruby's demands.

 

Before leaving for the Underworld, Regina was so busy worrying about Emma's state of mind and saving Hook that she hadn't dwelt much on the possibility of encountering lost loved ones. It was only once they arrived and had a moment to breathe that she thought of her father and of Daniel. As she visited their tombstones, Ruby mentioned wanting to check a few for herself. To their mutual horror both Anita, Ruby's mother, and Peter, her deceased boyfriend, had yet to move on.

 

While Emma searched for a way to resurrect Hook, Regina helped Ruby face her greatest fears. The confrontation with Peter had been easiest for Ruby, as his unfinished business was simply to tell her that he loved and forgave her. He'd known she would blame herself for his death and could not move on until she let go of her guilt, whether in life or in death.

 

The depth of his love for Ruby and the support he'd shown for their relationship was remarkable, and as they accompanied Peter to the bridge leading to his better place and shortly thereafter Ruby said goodbye to him, Regina couldn't help but be reminded of Daniel. Part of her longed for the kind of closure Ruby got, but the other part of her was so very glad he had not lingered in that place so long for her, which seemed to her a validation of just how well he knew her.

 

After the emotionally trying experience with Peter, Regina and Ruby set off in search for Ruby's mother. As it turns out, in Underbrooke (Regina's alias for the Underworld Hades had constructed for Zelena) Ruby's mother was employed as a game warden, so they'd had to venture out to an outpost in the woods to find her. Unfortunately, Anita was lying in wait and sprang at Regina before she could react, knocking her out cold with a blow to the head from the butt of her gun. There was to be no reconciliation for Ruby and her mother as there was for Regina and hers, for when Regina came to, Ruby was cradling her mother's bloody and broken body in her arms.

 

According to Hades, who appeared to taunt them at precisely the right moment, a person who dies by the same hand in the Underworld as in that of the living becomes a tormented soul trapped forever in limbo between worlds. The news further devastated an already grief-stricken Ruby. Nothing Regina said or did helped to quell Ruby's sadness as she grieved her mother a second time. On the contrary it was Ruby's selfless ability to put others before herself – namely for Regina after her mother moved on – that snapped her out of her depression. There was no time after that for Regina to seek out the one other person with whom she had unfinished business, and that, she decided, was fine with her.

 

Meanwhile Hades increasingly proved to be an annoyance, and although the entire company from Storybrooke managed to escape the Underworld, their troubles did not end there. For Hades, unbeknownst to Regina, had wormed his way into Storybrooke with Zelena's help and then proceeded to plan a hostile takeover. And although he was killed in the attempt, Robin died saving Regina from being stabbed by the Olympian Crystal, which Zelena had then used to kill her own True Love.

 

Robin's funeral was an oppressively sad occasion for Regina, as there was much she had left unsaid to him. She'd never got the chance to apologize to him for moving on while he was in New York, though the compassionate way he'd handled her relationship with Ruby told her he didn't need or want her to. Most importantly, Robin died not knowing how grateful she was to him for opening up her heart to the possibility of loving someone again, and it broke her heart into a million tiny pieces.

 

The only reason she managed to get through it was both for the sake of little Roland and with the support of those who loved her – Ruby, Henry, and Zelena foremost among them. Afterward Regina convinced Henry to go home with Emma so she could have some privacy. It had surprised her that she didn't ask Ruby to give her time, but somewhere between the graveside and the car she realized going home to an empty house to stew on her guilt and sorrow alone was a bad idea.

 

Once back home, she went through the routine of undressing and then sliding into more comfortable attire consisting of black slacks and a white blouse, mostly ignoring Ruby as she did the same. She'd put away her dress next, and as she was sliding it into the closet in its carefully assigned space, she caught sight of one of Robin's jackets on the shelves that he'd neglected to collect. After fetching it with trembling hands, she held it up to her nose and inhaled deeply to take in the gentle scent of the forest lingering upon it.

 

"It's okay to miss him," Ruby had said, breaking the silence.

 

Regina turned to see her girlfriend sitting on the bed in a pair of washed out jeans and a low cut v-neck cami-top with an enormous crescent moon shaped pendant hanging between her breasts. There was an understanding to her expression that made Regina feel comforted even though all she wanted to do was scream until her lungs gave out.

 

"I miss Peter, too," Ruby then continued. "Seeing him again..." she trailed off a space, eyes watering as she remembered their encounter in the Underworld. "It was wonderful, and I'm so glad I got to say goodbye to him. But even then, I still miss his face and his smile and the silly way he'd knock on my window in the middle of the night, risking Granny's wrath just to get a kiss. He was special and I loved him, just like you did Robin. It's okay to miss him, Regina. It's okay."

 

That afternoon, Regina fell apart in Ruby's arms and then they fell asleep together on top of the covers with Regina half atop Ruby held secure by her lover's deceptively strong arms. The next day, life was a little bit more normal, and a little more the next day after that. Soon enough, Regina was back into the swing of daily life in Storybrooke, having found a rhythm alongside Ruby that worked for them.

 

Now a month and change later, that life has settled back into a some semblance of normalcy, and only one thing remains for Regina to face. With Emma free of the Dark One curse, no excuses remains with which to avoid the inevitable confrontation. And while many problems remain in Storybrooke to be dealt with, such is par for the course for a town populated by fairy tale characters and steeped in magic. Since the moment the first Dark Curse was broken it has been one emergency after another, and Regina knows the peace is unlikely to last much longer. With that being the case, the time for delaying the inevitable is over. She has put this off long enough.

 

Dread coils in her chest like a viper ready to strike as she drives to the Cemetery and then walks the foreboding pathway to a grave she has not visited in years. With butterflies in her stomach, she peers down at the slate gray stone Emma had paid for out of pocket and had etched with the simple but poignant epitaph: "Here Lies Sheriff Graham. You Were Loved."

 

Lifting her head toward the sky, she inhales a bitter breath, the cooling autumn air biting unpleasantly at her lungs. The chill fits her mood perfectly.

 

"I don't know how to do this," she begins. "I don't know how to apologize to someone who doesn't exist anymore, and I don't know how to begin to let go of this guilt that's been eating me up since being imprisoned in that infernal book. All I know is that I am sorry, Graham, so very sorry.

 

"I'm sorry that I put you through those things, that I abused you, that I killed you in a fit of pointless jealousy. The moment I crushed your heart, I regretted it, because despite of my actions, I did care about you, just not like you deserved. Above all, I wish that I wasn't talking to a tombstone and that you were here for me to say this to. It's the least I owe you. What I did...it was..."

 

"Deplorable? Atrocious? Unforgivable? Shall I go on?"

 

The familiar voice of Storybrooke's resident Savior startles Regina and robs her of the ability to breathe. Hand over her heart, she chokes out, "Emma, I didn't..."

 

"No, no," Emma raises a hand to stop Regina's reflexive apology, "I'll stop there since you were just getting warmed up. That was a nice little speech you had going and I'd hate to be the reason you lost your momentum. By all means, carry on."

 

Regina blinks several times, unsure of how to respond to Emma's scathing sarcasm. "Emma, I..."

 

"You're what, Regina?" Emma again interrupts. "You're sorry? Yeah, I heard. For what it's worth, I actually believe you, but that doesn't change the fact that you are a rapist."

 

Something in Regina snaps at being assigned that label, however accurate it may be. "And a murderer, don't forget," she says, irrationally furious at Emma while also hating herself so much that she barely knows what to do about it. "Also I am a King-slayer, and a usurper, and a war criminal, and..." For the third time, Emma interrupts Regina, which only fuels her irritation.

 

"I'm not here for a laundry list of your crimes. There's just one I'm interested in right now."

 

Regina grinds her teeth together until her jaw aches, then spits out, "What do you want me to say then? Yes, for a time in my life I was a completely depraved lunatic who forced a good, innocent man into my bed. I am guilty of being a horrible person. I still am. Is that what you want to hear?"

 

"I want to hear you say the word!" Emma explodes, her entire body taut as a drum and her green eyes lit with the flames of righteous indignation. "I want to hear you admit to being the very thing you accused my mother of being, only she had no choice in the matter!"

 

Regina scoffs derisively. "Oh, so this is about _poor_ w _ittle_ Mommy? Tell me, is Snow still at home curled up in a ball sobbing her eyes out due to her guilt over Ruby? She should be. You are aware, aren't you, that an Author cannot compel a person to do things which they are incapable of in reality? Somewhere deep, deep down inside, your innocent mother has hidden some very naughty proclivities. The book merely plumbed those depths to their fullest extent."

 

Emma's face turns red the longer Regina goes on, which gives Regina a measure of satisfaction that it probably shouldn't. She is supposed to be feeling remorseful and apologetic in this situation, not provoking the woman to whom she should be directing said feelings.

 

"Stop deflecting, Regina," the angry blonde replies. "This is about you, not Mom. And anyway, isn't there an old saying that goes something like, ' _takes one to know one_ '?"

 

"Well, I am a monster, Emma," Regina says in a casual tone, "and a sexual predator. No one is pretending otherwise here, even me. I am what you say I am, but do not forget that I was manipulated into becoming said monster."

 

Emma throws her hands into the air, completely exasperated now. "Oh, my God, Regina," she groans, "quit assigning blame to everyone else. Just woman the hell up and admit it, damn you! Say the words!"

 

Irate to the point of snapping at being antagonized, Regina steps up into Emma's space. "Fine!" she shouts. "I took Graham's heart and I used it to rape him!" The very instant those words leave her lips, something breaks inside Regina. That pitifully weak dam she'd built has suddenly formed cracks, which rapidly deteriorate into a gaping holes so that all too soon she is being flooded with waves after wave of repressed guilt that slams into her with the force of a thousand meteors. "I...I d-did it," she gasps, stuttering around bile and the choking pressure of years worth of repressed shame being unleashed in a moment. "I r-raped Graham, oh my God..." Shuddering from head to toe, Regina stumbles away from Emma, leaning heavily upon a large upright tombstone nearby to support her weight.

 

Emma follows Regina with her patented doggedness. "There it is," she taunts. "Finally. There can be no more hiding after this, no more convincing yourself it didn't happen or it was 'another world'. You raped Graham, Regina, and you're going to have to come to terms with that. So how does it feel to be honest with yourself? Or better yet, can you even live with what you've done now that you've admitted it?"

 

And that was the question wasn't it? Watching Ruby suffer as Red in Isaac Heller's world had awakened Regina to the true, unspeakably hideous reality of what she had done to Graham. She can still vividly remember how ferociously she'd hated Evil Snow, how she'd wanted to rip the woman apart limb from limb for what she did to Red, but now that hatred is turning in on herself, a malignant emotional tumor that threatens to destroy the hard-won progress she's made.

 

As she struggles with the insidious spread of self-loathing, she can't help but wonder if she'd worn the same psychotically smug smile as Snow's on her face while she'd personally destroyed what remained of Graham's humanity? Had she laughed like Snow did while Graham screamed inside his own head, trapped and unable to do anything but comply to Regina's every perverse pleasure?

 

"I don't…I-I don't know..." Sick to the point of vomiting, Regina gags and then bends over at the waist to expel her breakfast. By the time the waves pass, she is dry heaving painfully. She hears the Savior groan as she tries to recover her breath.

 

"I should hate you, Regina. I really should," Emma says as Regina spits out the sick in her mouth, then wipes at her lips with the sleeve of her jacket. Although the blood rushing in her ears nearly drowns out all ambient noise, she manages to catch Emma next, incredibly vital words, "But I don't. I just don't." Emma pauses to draw a breath, and Regina watches her, wide-eyed and almost disbelieving at the direction things appear to be going. At best she had expected for Emma to swear her off forever, while at worst she'd considered it a good possibility that Emma might try to kill her if enough of the darkness from the dagger was loitering in some hidden crevice of the Savior's psyche.

 

But as if privy to Regina's secret thoughts, Emma reaches out to brush a bead of sweat away from her damp brow. She gasps at the tenderness of her touch.

 

"Besides the fact that I love you and you're my friend," Emma then says in low, undeservedly compassionate tones, "you've done worse things that I was already aware of. How can I hate you for what you did to Graham when I don't for the hundreds of people you slaughtered? Is rape a worse crime than murder? I don't know, I'm not an expert on such things, but what I am an expert on is you. And I know that you are not that woman anymore."

 

"Yet I hate myself all the same, and more than you ever could," Regina replies through a throat that is dry and scratchy from the acidic bile that recently passed through it. With her defenses destroyed, honesty pours out of her and she makes no attempt to stop it. "Before I was forced to watch Ruby be r..."

 

Trailing off at the word that had triggered her recent sickness, Regina's eyes clamp shut and she braces herself as another surge of sickness swirls within her stomach. The wave passes after a moment, but still she squeezes the next bit of excruciating truth through a tight jaw.

 

"Before that, what happened with Graham was just another dirty move in my game of life and death with your mother. Watching it happen to her, though, to the one person I love almost as much as I do Henry...it changed me. It wasn't real, I know that, but I remember it as if it was, and I'll never forget the helplessness in her eyes, or the sound of her screams, or the sight of her arms shredded to pieces from thrashing against the restraints. It makes me wonder if...if Graham felt the same way Ruby did, or if I looked as joyful in my insanity as _she_ did."

 

Externalizing her recent thoughts proves more cathartic than she'd anticipated. And while she still feels like a disgusting human being, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, however dim it is, that she might some day wash herself at least partially clean of her multitudinous sins. The stink of some of those acts will never fade, but that is the price of being alive, she decides, and it is one she can live with if it means she doesn't lose everyone she loves and everything she has built over the past few years. And while that attitude is grossly insensitive, it is one she has to adopt in order to survive. Healing is one thing, but it is impossible for a crazy person to heal, and that is what Regina will decay into if she lets herself continue to swirl down this very dark and very deep rabbit hole.

 

As Regina considers her admittedly bleak but not yet hopeless future, Emma says nothing, her face betraying none of her thoughts. But then her brows crease and she ducks her head to stare at her feet as she kicks at the grass around the stone. When she looks back up, her expression is troubled.

 

"For what it's worth," she says, then sighs and turns her eyes skyward, "I wondered the same thing of myself."

 

Beset by confusion, Regina forgets her own woes for a moment. She crosses her arms over her chest, hands over her forearms that she rubs at to warm herself up against the increasing chill in the air.

 

"I'm sorry? I don't follow."

 

"It's yet another reason I can't hate you," Emma replies, appearing subtly distraught as if struggled with some secret sins of her own. Regina's perception proves accurate upon Emma's subsequent confession. "The night you caught me with Ruby wasn't the last time I was alone with her. While you and my parents were commiserating how to stop me one night, I came back. It was late and she was asleep."

 

Regina stiffens at hearing of this nocturnal visit Darth Swan had paid to Ruby. But before she can voice her premature accusations, Emma goes on emptying her conscience. Ruefully, Regina thinks that if she had known this visit to the Cemetery was going to turn into such an occasion for them both, she would have arranged for a priest to accompany her – though she isn't sure there is a cleric upon the face of the earth willing to endure hearing the kinds of things she for which she could seek absolution.

 

"I...I stood there at the foot of the bed for the longest time and just stared at her," Emma continues, looking conflicted. _Perhaps the darkness is not so gone after all_ , Regina thinks. "She was so beautiful and serene and pure. So deliciously corruptible. Something about Ruby was beckoning to the darkness, singing a siren song so feral and powerful and irresistible that I was intoxicated. It felt like that animal always lurking just beneath the veil of her goodness was communing my own, and the longer I stood there, the more I wanted to claim her, to possess her with or without her permission and then share her with Killian just like we'd fantasized."

 

Regina assumes this commiseration with Dark Hook happened some time after Emma restored his memories and somehow talked him over to her side. For a while, the heroes of Storybrooke had been fighting two Dark Ones. But then Hook had a change of heart, went rogue, and forced Emma to seek help from those she'd been so adeptly pushing away.

 

But while she would like to scold Emma for plotting to seduce Ruby into a some kind of poly amorous relationship, Regina remains silently while listening and watching the disquieted Savior.

 

After a deep breath, Emma shuffles her weight from one hip to the other. "Only the small part of me left that loved Ruby kept me from acting on my desires." Her eyes then fix upon Regina, and they are so terribly intense that Regina feels a chill corkscrew into the base of her spinal column. "But Regina...if Hook hadn't turned on me and distracted me, it would have only been a matter of time before I took what I wanted. If I had, I would have thoroughly wrecked her, and that _kills_ me."

 

Regina gapes at Emma in utter disbelief, not quite sure what to make of this information. On one hand she is tempted to berate Emma for even thinking about violating Ruby in such a way. She nearly does just that before she remembers that unlike Emma and without the influence of the most evil magical instrument ever created, she had not listened to her better angels. That Emma had done so only out of necessity does not matter.

 

With her indignation at Emma quelled, all Regina can manage to do is emit a string of colorful expletives as she laments the probability that no soul in Storybrooke over the age of accountability is unsullied. _If even the Savior can fall victim to such heinous impulses_ , she thinks, _what chance do the rest of us have?_

 

"Yeah," Emma agrees to Regina's curses. "So you see, to condemn you would be hypocritical."

 

Regina laughs miserably at being let off the hook upon such a tragic technicality, and the part of her that desperately needs to be held accountable refuses to accept the out.

 

"While I'm relieved at your sympathy, fantasy is a far cry from reality. I, unlike you, actually did what you stopped yourself from doing."

 

"True," says Emma, head tilted thoughtfully and infuriatingly lacking the loathing that had so recently characterized her. "That doesn't change the fact that I'm not going to judge you for it. I can't and I won't. For one, as I said, it would be hypocritical, but also, I am not Graham. Were he ali..."  Pausing, Emma turns her face and takes a shuddering breath as a lone tear trickles down her cheek. She harshly brushes it away before returning her attention to Regina.  "Were he alive today," she continues, "it would be up to him to decide whether or not you have earned forgiveness. As far as I'm concerned, you coming here and admitting this...it says a lot, _means_ a lot to me. For all of the reasons I've stated I won't hold this against you, but at the same time I can't forgive you for a crime you committed against someone else."

 

Regina's voice is small when she asks, "Where does that leave me then?"

 

Again Emma shifts her weight, though this time she risks moving a step closer to a visibly skittish Regina.

 

"It leaves you to figure out how to forgive yourself. And I guess I'm going to have to do the same, because I still have a hard time looking Ruby in the eye. Lucky for us, we have some pretty amazing people in our lives who love us unconditionally and want to help us through our guilt. I'd suggest for both of our sakes that we try to let them."

 

Regina takes a drawn out breath, then shakes her head uncertainly. "I'm not sure I know how to let myself be helped, but for once I see the wisdom in your words, Swan. I've got to try."

 

"Oh, Regina, how can you doubt yourself even now?" poses Emma as she carefully clasps Regina's elbow. "The woman I first met was nothing short of a cold, calculating bitch. But the one I see before me today is braver than she gives herself credit for. You've proven yourself to an entire town that hated you and made friends out of the people you once swore to destroy. Ignoring my obvious bias, you raised Henry to be thoughtful and kind and loving. And now you've opened up your heart to one of the most selfless and loyal people on earth and are learning how to love her the way she loves you. I think you _do_ know how."

 

"Well, I hope you're right," Regina replies, trying to sound like a hardass in spite of the warmth bubbling in her chest. "Ruby deserves better than what I've been giving her."

 

"Ruby deserves what she wants," Emma gently admonishes, "and for whatever reason she wants you, wrinkles and warts and all. I know for a fact she is one of few people who understands you on a molecular level, and yet she loves you with everything she has."

 

Somehow, Regina manages to chuckle. She hates that Emma has made her feel better, but is so damned grateful at the same time. Internally, she is awed at her good fortune at Emma Swan being a part of her life while externally replying, "It is a mystery, isn't it?"

 

Emma's counter comes quickly. "No more than Belle and Gold I'd say."

 

"I suppose." Regina concedes the point even though she is loathe to be compared to the imp and his Stockholm-stricken maid.

 

For a period of several seconds, both women remain silent. While Emma chews at her lip tentatively, Regina allows her vision to wander over the area, looking but unseeing as she attempts to recenter her thoughts. As her eyes linger on her family mausoleum, an image surfaces of lying abed with Ruby in her little hut as Regina the bandit and Red Riding Hood.

 

That memory is one of few she is determined to hold on to from _Heroes & Villains _because it is the most reflective of her true relationship with Ruby. The unparalleled intimacy they had established, their ability to get so lost in one another that all else seems inconsequential, is something that has persisted since emerging from that fictional prison, and it is something Regina is determined to hold on to.

 

Being close to Ruby, she has come to believe, is like being transfigured into a moon in orbital decay. Arrested by the inescapable gravity of her beautiful and brilliantly luminous planet, any distance is too much to endure, so she spirals closer and closer and closer until they collide, merging together in an explosion of molten emotion too complex to explain and yet too simple to misconstrue as anything but the most extraordinary kind of love in all the universe.

 

When all is said and done, Regina is convinced that the love she shares with Ruby is cosmically ordained, and in considering the profundity of those feelings, she begins to doubt whether or not Tinkerbelle had been right to name Robin as her soul mate after all. How could he have when Ruby has so easily eclipsed him? For while Robin was a lamppost in the darkness, Ruby is the sun itself.

 

"Say, while we're being honest, can I ask you a question?" Emma's voice pierces through Regina's contemplations, wrenching her from thoughts quite violently. "It's personal, but I think it relates to both of us and our current conversation."

 

"Alright..." she drawls, not quite sure whether she wants to entertain Emma's line of query. But because Emma has been more understanding than Regina had any right to expect, she allows it.

 

"When you married my grandfather..."

 

Regina snaps her hand up, eyes widening from the onset of panic at the mention of her late husband. Leopold is a topic Regina does not broach lightly, and even then only in dire circumstances.

 

Truth be told, she wishes she could take a steel brush to the part of her brain containing her memories of him. As much as Regina blames Cora for her failings as a mother and her literal inability to be a decent human being as well as exposing her daughter to darkness at such a tender age, it is Leopold who had the heaviest hand in turning Regina into the Evil Queen. Cora had plowed the field as it were, but it was Leopold who sewed the seed. Regina's lips curl in disgust at her own internal metaphor.

 

However, she is not angry with Emma if only because she is pretty sure she understands the connection Emma is trying to make.

 

"Stop right there," she interjects, proud of herself for not sounding overly harsh. "I know what you're going to suggest and it simply isn't true. Although I certainly would not have chosen to do so had circumstances not been as they were, I nonetheless entered into the union with your grandfather of my own volition. There was no coercion, Emma. I am not a victim here."

 

"Sure," Emma replies, "but as you said, you didn't choose him. Tell me something, when you climbed into his bed, did you ever once _want_ it?"

 

The current line of questioning having entered dangerous territory, Regina cuts Emma a warning glance. "Careful, Swan. Some wounds are best left unprodded."

 

As if ignorant or otherwise unconcerned of Regina's turmoil, Emma rolls her eyes dramatically. "C'mon, Regina," she whines. "You've done so well today. Don't stop now. This is the last truth that you need to face before you can finally, truly, start to move on from your past."

 

Regina huffs dubiously. "And what makes you such an expert in Psychology?"

 

"My time as a bail bondsperson for one," Emma offers with a shrug, and as she launches into her subsequent speech, Regina is transfixed into utter silence. "But I learned the most during my time in prison. Did you know that they have books there about all kinds of subjects, including Psychology? I read them because let me tell you, that place is hella boring.

 

"Anyway, I learned something in that place critical to my understanding about abusers that changed my entire outlook. And I didn't read it in a book, I heard and saw it every day in the way my fellow jailbirds would commiserate about their experiences. You see, most of them were abused themselves, and they simply didn't know how to deal with that trauma. When people get broken like that, they become tragic mirrors that transform them into the very thing that broke them in the first place. So I ask again, Regina, did you ever once want him in that way?"

 

That Emma has deconstructed her using such an indirect but completely accurate method completely unnerves Regina. She feels a tremble pass through her limbs as her deepest scars are bared to the perceptive eyes and the sensitive heart of the Savior. After a moment of enduring Emma's discerning compassion, she stutters out a response.

 

"N-no...I didn't."

 

"Then is it fair to say that you were taught that kind of behavior is acceptable if there is a crown on your head?"

 

Emma's follow-up inquiry hits home in way that completely undoes Regina. She feels herself unraveling in reverse from the inside out rather than from the outside in, and her head begins to spin as she realizes what Emma is trying to help her realize.

 

Still, after years of programming herself to bear the ignoble cross of villainy, she is stubborn in her unwillingness to surrender it. "That doesn't excuse what I did."

 

Emma does not waver in her kindness, evidently feeling as determined to get through to Regina as Regina is to remain obstinately in denial of a legitimate explanation as to why she became a truly despicable person.

 

"I'm not excusing you, Regina, I'm understanding you," Emma counters, tone as patient as her expression. "And I'm trying to help you understand yourself. You treat Ruby like she's made of glass because of violations that occurred in a fake world. Why will you not allow yourself to grieve for what you went through in a very real one?"

 

"Because I can't!" Regina shouts, heart hammering in her chest. "If I start then I'll never stop!"

 

"That's not true at all. Regina, you have friends and family here who _love_ you. You have a son who wants more than anything to help you succeed. And don't forget the woman waiting for you back at home who worships you in a way that frankly makes me a bit jealous. If you want to get past this, if you want to truly become the hero I _know_ you can be, you have to open yourself up to the hurt. You have to bare the scars and let us be the salve that soothes the ache. And you can do that, Regina, because you can trust us! You can trust _me_. Haven't I proved that today?"

 

The heartfelt words rend Regina's heart, and her body shudders from the cold and her turbulent emotional state. "Of c-course you have E-Emma..."

 

"Then stop being a sissy and let it out."

 

Emma's hand raises from Regina's elbow to her shoulder and then smooths gently back down her arm. Up and down, up and down, she repeats the action, her face open and earnest and so affectionate that Regina feels the last barriers of her resistance crumbling. She gasps, slapping a hand over her mouth to hold in a sob.

 

"That's it," Emma encourages, still rubbing Regina's arm gently, though her other hand has now joined in on the comforting action upon Regina's other appendage. "Let go of all that pain. Scream, cry, whatever you need to do, but purge it here and now. Bury it here where it belongs so that you don't carry it back home with you. Graham is dead, so is my Grandfather, but Henry and Ruby and me and Mom and Dad, we are all alive. We are _here_ , _now_ , so live for us, and let the past die once and for all."

 

Unable to hold back, Regina cries out, collapsing forward into Emma. She tucks her face into the crook of Emma's neck as strong arms wind their way around her lower back to secure her and hold her upright, her entire body having turned into so much jello.

 

It hard for Regina to reckon how much time passes as she releases out all of her pent up anguish onto Emma's skin and the collar of her white sweater. All she knows is that when her sobs transition into stilted hiccups, the sun has dipped noticeably in the sky.

 

"Feel better?" Emma asks, now rubbing Regina's back at her shoulders. Regina nods, but does not withdraw. "Think you can make it back home?"

 

"I think so," she croaks, then finally pulls away. Emma's hands linger on her arms as she composes herself, sniffling the snot away from her nose then magicking a handkerchief to wipe it clean. She peers up at Emma, sure her eyes are bloodshot, and smiles. It is hesitant and tiny, but there, real and heartfelt. "Thank you."

 

Emma beams back at Regina before giving her arms a squeeze. "You're welcome. Now, what do you say we get you back home to that pretty lady waiting for you? And then tomorrow, I'll bring Henry over and we can have a family dinner. Who knows, maybe it'll be the start of a tradition."

 

As it is Emma's week with Henry, Regina's entire countenance brightens at the chance to see her son.

 

"That sounds lovely," she says, smile intensifying.

 

And with that, Emma steps back, forms one of her arms into a crook and then offers it to Regina. "Shall we?" she asks, grinning as if they have not just finished one of the most excruciating conversations imaginable. But that is Emma being Emma, forever the Savior, and even better, a good and faithful friend.

 

And as they walk arm in arm down the pathway leading out of the Cemetery, Regina swears to endeavor never to take Emma for granted again, for in weathering this tempestuous storm of hurt, their friendship has proven stronger than Regina could have ever imagined. Emma is a vital part of her life that needs to depend on more regularly, and Regina knows Ruby will agree.

 

And besides, Regina owes Emma now, because her blonde friend had been correct earlier. With all of her sins having been aired and her traumas exposed, she finally feels like she will be able to heal. As a consequence, that future Ruby mentioned over a month ago suddenly does not seem so impossible or so far away. Happiness is tangible for perhaps the first time since Daniel's death, and it is almost too wonderful to comprehend.

 

But one final surprise remains, for as they near the gate leading exiting the Cemetery, Regina hears a howl in the distance. Neither mournful nor anguished, it is rather the trumpeting of a joyful occasion. When the hairs on the back of her neck rise up, she cuts her eyes toward the forest only to catch sight of something that stills her heart and steals her breath away.

 

There, just outside the fringes of the tree line, is the specter of a man and his ghostly wolf companion. They are walking parallel to Regina and Emma, but the bearded and handsome profile of a man long dead is instantly recognizable to Regina. A new ache settles in her chest as she stares at him with disbelief.

 

But then he turns to face her, revealing a face that is neither tormented nor overly joyous. He seems content and at peace, and there is not a trace of hateful censure to be found when he meets her eyes. His gaze lingers only for a moment, and just before turning away to resume his trek into the forest, she watches to her amazement as the corner of his lips arch up after which he gives her a nod of tacit approval. It is a boon that Regina hadn't expected or asked for or even dared to hope for, but she latches on to it with all of her might. And as he disappears into the forest, she gasps aloud in wonder, drawing Emma's attention.

 

"Regina? Are you okay?"

 

"Yes, I'm fine," Regina says after a moment. Her heart is thundering so fast it feels ready to leap from her chest. But at the same time she feels light, as if those burdens she's been carrying around for decades have been lifted once and for all. "I'm fine," she repeats, her internal buoyancy now leaking into her voice. And for the first time since she can remember, she actually means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a lot of time for notes on this as I'm rushed to get this posted, but I want to mention that from the first time I envisioned this story, the final scene was set in stone for me. I have always felt like Regina cannot claim to be redeemed until she faced what she did to Graham, thus it was always going to be Regina and Emma at Graham's grave hashing out what happened to him. And while their confrontation was always going to be painful, ultimately, it was always going to serve as the vehicle through which not only Regina finds some type of resolution, but Emma as well. So I guess to me, this is the sealing up of the last string from S1 left dangling that has bothered me.
> 
> Also, I dropped in the reference to one of my all time favorite books here, _The Count of Monte Cristo_ both as an appropriate (or I think so anyway) nod to my love for the story and because I am still infuriated about how the show handled Monte Cristo. It was a travesty. I was so angry. Such a friggin waste. Anyway...
> 
> About the end passage with Graham's ghost showing up, I am leaving it up to the reader to decide if Regina's mind conjured him or he was real. Whatever you choose is fine, I think. As for me, I like to think that he really showed up, not to forgive Regina per se but to accept her apology as genuine and release her from her guilt. I just think he's that kind of guy. 
> 
> In conclusion, I hope the scenes with R/R and R/E were satisfactory, and that the though processes that Ruby and Emma went through to arrive at their acceptance of Regina for who she is was adequate. Those scenes were so emotionally draining to write that I just felt exhausted afterward like I had climbed Everest or something, so I want them to be meaningful. I want for this story to be meaningful beyond just a story for an incredibly awesome event like Red Queen Week. As I stated earlier, if even one person took a lesson away from this story (whether about forgiveness; or holding ourselves responsible for what our own actions; or how dangerous it is to stuff down our hurts and bottle them up so tight that eventually they blow up in our faces) that is applicable to real life, I will have done my job as a writer, and if not, then I have failed. 
> 
> Before I sign off, I want to thank everyone who read the story. You brave and persevering souls are _my_ heroes! And to the organizers of Red Queen Week, so much love to you all! Y'all keep this amazing ship afloat even though it never even got built on the show, which is a travesty I think, but I digress... To my fellow writers, I can't wait to dig in to your stories over the next couple of weeks! Now that I have some free time at night, I will be binging sinfully!
> 
> As always, best wishes to you all. I wish many happy dreams of our favorite girls in fluffy situations! Until next time!
> 
> P.S. Oh, before I forget, to make up for this heartwrencher of a fic, I'll be finishing posting a 4-shot in the PoD universe that is pure fluff, and I may even post a 100% sin-bin fic if I'm persuaded to do so. Look for those this weekend. I also want to mention that if I didn't cover an explanation for a choice in the story or something was unclear in the text, I will be happy to answer questions. Ciao!


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Ruby get their happy ending. After all they've been through in this story, they deserve it.

**Epilogue**

 

“Hey, babe,” Ruby greets as Regina rounds the corner and steps into the living room. A soft smile is gracing her lovely lips that hadn’t been there earlier. “You’re back early. How’d it go?”

 

It is not Ruby’s smile that halts Regina in her place but the presence of another person perched neatly beside Ruby. Hands folded in her lap, Mary Margaret beams at Regina in a way she hasn’t since _Heroes & Villains _came to its abrupt end. Ruby had said nothing about having company over before Regina had left for the Cemetery, and considering how emotionally drained Regina is from dealing with her own ghosts (both literally and figuratively), she is immediately apprehensive. The last thing she needs today is another confrontation, especially in her own house.

 

This place is her Sanctum Sanctorum, the one safe space she has away from all of her responsibilities that come along with being Mayor of a town full of fairy tale characters. It is a place she can forget about her woes for a while, somewhere she can escape for a few hours from her past.

 

But while Regina cherishes the perfectly arranged confines of her house, Ruby is the real reason she feels so comfortable at home these days. Seeing as they are just now getting back to some semblance of a normal life together, she prays that nothing has been said or done to upset that return to balance.

 

“Fine,” she drawls after a moment of staring between Ruby and Mary Margaret. She then motions toward the couch where Ruby is nestled next to the best friend she’s been avoiding like the plague. “How is _this_ going?”

 

Ruby’s smile does not waver. “It’s going great!”

 

“It really is,” Mary Margaret says. “We talked, screamed at each other a bit, then cried for a while.”

 

“Yeah, then we hugged it out,” adds Ruby as she nudges her friend’s shoulder, eyes twinkling.

 

Seeing Ruby so relaxed and playful with her best friend sends relief flooding through Regina’s system. After

 

“I’m glad. For both your sakes,” Regina replies, greatly relieved.

 

She knows how hard it has been for Ruby to feel so spiteful toward her best friend for something that was beyond Mary Margaret’s control. Their friendship is the strongest Regina has ever seen, having endured trials that would have rent lesser ones asunder. Ruby’s experiences almost did just that, though.

 

While Mary Margaret initially regressed to the pitiful state she’d inhabited after killing Regina’s mother, Ruby continued to struggle in her endeavor to separate fiction from reality. Even more than a month removed from the event, it is still virtually impossible for her sometimes, particularly on those nights she wakes up screaming from a nightmare in which she’d relived her personal hell in that fictional world. On those nights, Regina has to force herself to tend to Ruby, who is often left distraught and trembling after enduring those night terrors, instead of magicking herself to the Charming loft to tear Snow’s heart out and finally grant the wish she’d made not so many years ago.

 

But then she remembers that Ruby is not the only victim of _Heroes & Villains_. Aside from Mary Margaret, David has been suffering as well, having been working himself to the bone to avoid thinking about what he’d been forced to do to a woman he loves as if she were his flesh and blood sister. More than once, Regina has mentioned Ruby in his presence only to watch his focus blur as tears well up in his eyes and his jaw flexes with barely repressed hatred. That he is a good man Regina has learned to respect only makes his anguish worse. Still, the former shepherd had dealt with the pain much more productively than his wife.

 

Time, however, heals all wounds, and this latest example is no exception. Mary Margaret has started teaching again after a short leave of absence, and David isn’t pulling double shift anymore and can actually be seen smiling and laughing. Some of that is due to Emma being Emma again, but a healthy portion of their return to normality is because they are finally starting to forgive themselves. And while up until now Regina has not resented their newly blossoming happiness, she’s had a more difficult time letting go of what happened.

 

Her tendency to hold grudges is something she has been working on since stepping on the path to redemption, and like the sins she has committed, presented obstacles along the way. But there is hope now that this latest breakthrough for her will finally be the impetus for her to, as Emma put it, truly become a hero. In truth, only time will tell, but she is more at peace with herself than she has ever been, which is a good start.

 

After a brief silence, Mary Margaret clears her throat and stands. “As much as I’d love to stay and chat, I need to get back home. I left David with Neal after he got home from a hard shift, so I’m sure he’s ready to get some rest.”

 

“Don’t run off on my account,” Regina says, not wanting to be the cause of an abrupt end to a long-needed reconciliation between best friends.

 

“Oh, honey, I’ve not run from you in years,” Mary Margaret replies, smirking at Regina, who scoffs.

 

“Because you’ve had no reason to,” Regina retorts, eyes cut playfully at her former nemesis. “I bet I can give you a one, though, if you stick around long enough.”

 

“While I am a huge fan of watching you two banter, we’ve all had trying days,” Ruby interjects before Mary Margaret can respond. “So let’s leave things be while they are on a high note, huh?”

 

“A splendid idea,” Regina agrees, then waltzes over to the couch where she offers her hand to Ruby, who takes it and gives it a squeeze before standing. “It was good to see you, Snow,” she says once Ruby is standing at her side. “And I _am_ glad that you two worked things out.”

 

“Me, too,” is the diminutive woman’s softly uttered reply. “I’ve missed you both so much.”

 

Regina flushes with unbidden pleasure at being included in the statement. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed the inherent optimism and effortless compassion unique to a former step-daughter she has never really stopped thinking of as family. These past months Snow has been withdrawn and sullen, but now that she is acting like herself again and not so much Mary Margaret the timid teacher or her especially perverse counterpart in fiction, Regina can let herself indulge that fondness.

 

“We have, too,” says Ruby, who then nibbles at her lip and glances up at Regina questioningly.

 

When Regina’s brow raises in response, Ruby nods toward Mary Margaret. Knowing what her girlfriend is silently requesting, she rolls her eyes, but still she sighs out her acquiescence. “Oh, _f_ _ine_.”

 

With Regina’s permission granted, Ruby extends her free arm toward her best friend. “Group hug?” She does not need to ask twice.

 

After uttering a squeal of delight, Mary Margaret throws herself into both Regina and Ruby with reckless abandon, then wraps her arms around both of them. Ruby returns the gesture immediately, then lays her cheek upon Mary Margaret’s crown.

 

Regina, on the other hand, loiters momentarily as that old inclination to spurn such outward shows of affection rears its ugly head. To overcome it, she reminds herself of all she has gone through, of the progress she’s made, the setbacks she’s had, and of how hard she has fought to build relationships with these people who against all odds have opened up their hearts and lives to her when they had every right to shun her.

 

When Regina feels Ruby’s hand slip out of hers to link around her waist and draw her in close, she at last gives in to the swell of affection building up within her chest. Wrapping an arm around Mary Margaret, she ducks her head down to kiss Ruby’s cheek and then rests her forehead gently against Ruby’s temple. She both hears and feels Mary Margaret’s reaction, which comes in a form of an audible and heaving sigh of utter bliss.

 

Regina chuckles, unable to restrain the smile that forms on her lips. Happiness courses through her veins in a way she’d thought impossible that morning. And later on that night after Mary Margaret has left and she and Ruby are alone, she ruminates upon it as she sits on the couch with Ruby’s feet in her lap. Propped up against the opposite end of the couch, her girlfriend has her nose buried in the final pages of the same book she’d been reading – at Belle’s suggestion – the day Regina returned from Neverland, _The Count of Monte Cristo._

 

Upon finishing the book, Ruby snaps it shut and then lays it down on the ground in front of the couch.

 

“I get it now,” she says, and when Regina looks at her questioningly, adds, “why Belle suggested I read this.”

 

“Ah.” Regina slips a hand beneath the hem of Ruby’s jeans to brush over a smooth shin. Letting it slide around beneath Ruby’s leg, she begins to gently massage a shapely calf, inordinately delighted to see her girlfriend react by giving a little breathy sigh of pleasure as her eyes slide shut. She then says, “Let me guess, it was the bookworm’s subtle way of warning you that revenge has a price?”

 

“Well yeah,” Ruby answers, eyes opening after a moment of enjoying the sensation Regina’s attention is producing. “But also that’s it’s easy. Forgiving yourself afterward is the hard part. What it’s really about, though, is love. Love is the only thing can overcome the emptiness that’s left when the desire for vengeance has faded.”

 

Regina hums her agreement, then adds, “I assume that in this instance I am the Count and you are my Haydée?”

 

“To borrow from Ashley’s story, if the shoe fits,” Ruby says, then quickly shifts to sit on her knees and shuffle close to Regina. She leans in, eyes wide, hands folded up as in prayer, and begins to quotes from the book having assumed the role of Haydée. “ _I am young. I love the life you made so sweet to me, and should regret to die._ ”

 

Regina, who knows the book well, slides into her part as the Count with ease. “ _You mean, then, that if I leave you, Ruby -_ ”

 

“ _I should die_ ,” Ruby answers fervently. “ _Yes, my lady._ ”

 

“ _Do you love me then?_ ”

 

“ _Oh, yes, I do love you! I love you as one loves a mother, sister, wife! I love you as my life, for you are the_ _b_ _est, the noblest of created beings!_ ”

 

“ _Let it be then as you wish, sweet angel_ ,” Regina then amends the speech to her own thoughts. “ _Who knows? Perhaps your love will make me forget all I wish not to remember._ ”

 

“And yours mine,” Ruby whispers, breaking the citation as she leans in for a kiss.

 

* * *

 

Later that night after climbing into bed, Regina lays on her side facing the wall, covers tucked up tightly beneath her arms. A very human part of is struggling with disappointment that she cannot yet make love to Ruby when it’s all she wants to do. It’s selfish of her to want that knowing Ruby isn’t ready yet, but her entire being is thrumming with an intense need to show Ruby just how loved and appreciated she is. Without sex as method for expressing these emotions, Regina is left feeling incredibly frustrated. And though she is able to quash those desires out of respect for Ruby, she can’t help but wonder how long that frustration will last.

 

But then Ruby slides into bed behind her, and as if sensing Regina’s turmoil proceeds to press a series of lingering kisses to her shoulder, neck, and cheek before tilting her head up for a reverent kiss upon the lips that lasts just long enough to sate the beast in Regina demanding more, more, more. After that, Ruby settles back down to spoon the length of Regina’s body. Once nestled as close as humanly possible, she winds her arm around Regina’s waist and then tucks her hand just beneath the hem of the silk pajama pants Regina chose to sleep in. Fingers splayed wide, she rests her palm low on Regina’s tummy and hums in contentment.

 

“’Night, my Plucky Bandit,” she murmurs, and Regina can feel Ruby’s entire body relaxing as she fades rapidly from a long and emotionally draining day. “Love you. So much. S’much...”

 

Ruby having trailed off that way means she has fallen asleep, and Regina can’t contain the tender smile that breaks out over her features. “Goodnight, my Fairy Wolfmother,” she replies, knowing Ruby can’t hear, but wanting to complete the ritual just the same.

 

All earlier frustration flees Regina in the aftermath of Ruby’s gesture. The arrangement of her palm in such an intimate place is not coincidental, but rather is an unspoken promise that she is cognizant of Regina’s desires and is working toward resolving them as quickly as she can. And while Regina could feel guilty for making Ruby feel that way, she doesn’t because Ruby – as a highly sensual woman in her own right – has voiced frustration on multiple occasions at the residual hangups remaining from what she’d gone through in _Heroes & _Villains. But mostly Regina simply cherishes the value to her of knowing the woman she loves, her partner in life, is so readily willing to put her needs before their own.

 

As she lays there in bed listening to the sound of Ruby’s adorable snoring, Regina clings to the hope she’s found – both in Emma’s understanding and Ruby’s unconditional support – regarding a future where love will have at last conquered the blights of the past. She knows there is no erasing the things she has done, but at the same time because the people that love her most can live with them, she knows she can, too. Like the Count of Monte Cristo, she has discovered all human wisdom lay in these two words, “ _wait and hope_.”

 

Regina does exactly that for nearly three months. Making love to Ruby again after all they’ve endured is not easy. After letting Ruby take care of her first, Regina returns the favor with careful attention, and although there are missteps and apologies and a few stops and starts the end result is perfect.

 

With a Ruby spent and radiant Ruby securely resting in her arms, Regina can only close her eyes and breath in the heady scent of their love, and marvel at how in the end she has been given so much more than was ever taken away. Her life, once so devoid of meaning aside from the pursuit of an empty revenge, is overflowing with love and laughter and more joy than she’d ever imagined she could feel.

 

For so long she had believed the universe owed her, but now she is stricken by the astounding revelation that she is the one who is in debt, and it is one that can never be repair even with a thousand lifetimes of servitude. For Ruby’s love, she has come to believe, is more priceless than anything under the Heavens.

 

Surrounded as she is by the physical and spiritual warmth of, aside from Henry, the most precious person to ever grace the earth, Regina swiftly drifts off to sleep. Just before entering that subliminal world of infinite possibility, she pulls Ruby even more closely against her body and then thinks to herself, “ _This_ _makes everything_ _worth_ _while_ _._ ” It is a sentiment that a lifetime of memories to come will prove true.

 

 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only thing I have to say here is I just realized I spoiled myself in the notes for my previous chapter. This is the one with the mention of _The Count of Monte Christo_. Hah. Oops!
> 
> I hope this fluffy tag winds things up well enough. The hopeless romantic in me just couldn't let this story conclude without a proper happy ending.


End file.
